10 Sept, 2000
Dear Ted & Phyllis,
Please forgive the frequent letters. This is an indication
of what bad shape I am in. Years ago I was a terrible correspondent and seldom
answered mail; now I have a laptop computer and a lot of time to write but very
few people to write to.
I am no example of what a man of God is supposed to be at
all. Technically I am the co-pastor of our little church here at NLL and
alternate with a Japanese brother preaching every other week. Today was my
turn. Good preachers are supposed to spend a lot of time in the study waiting
on the Lord and preparing messages. I never have been very good at that
although I have spent a major portion of the past 40 some years in a pulpit. In
previous years I used to hope the Lord would give me some idea of what the text
would be by Wednesday, and for years I used to do mostly exposition preaching
where I knew the week before what the text would be. More recently I usually
don’t have a clue as late as Friday night what to speak on Sunday, but in those
circumstances you are supposed to spend most of Saturday waiting on the Lord
for His message.
Recently even Saturdays are given to
non-spiritual employment. I was so non-spiritual last night I dreaded the
thought of having to speak to anyone on Sunday. I just couldn’t concentrate on
anything worthwhile. Finally I gave up trying and went to bed with still
nothing in view except that I wanted to speak about Jesus. My dreams during the
night were terrible and when I woke up I hoped it was Monday.
In my thoughts I was challenged by a question a 14 year old
boy once asked me at a katei shukai; “Cook san, what is God like?” I never
forgot that question. There is – of course – no answer. But the closest humans
can come is He. 1:3 (speaking of Jesus) “He is the express image of His person”
and our Lord said to Philip, “he that hath seen Me hath see the Father”. This
is something we can get a handle on. To answer the question, “What is Jesus
like?” I decided to go to John for some input. The first thing I came to was
the 1st miracle and that turned on some lights.
I have been working on a book for almost a year and pulled
out a chapter to use for a message this morning. I am utterly ashamed that a
man could be so nonspiritual and neglect both the preparation of a message and
his own heart to the degree that I did and yet have such liberty bringing the
Word of God. But I was thrilled with my topic this morning. I didn’t have
opportunity to present all that is in the chapter that I have written for the
book, but just brought the main point that God saves the best wine for last. I
will send you a copy with this letter.
I am embarrassed to tell anyone that I am writing a book.
Most people would be shocked or think that is ludicrous, but the Lord has given
me a thought that I have never seen in print or taught – yet seems so
self-evident that I am bewildered that no one has ever published it. I call the
title of the book The Inverted Kingdom. I have noticed that nearly every thing
in the Kingdom of God is hantai to the natural laws of this world. The way to
go up is to go down; the way to get is to give; the way to keep is to lose; the
way to live is to die; the way to be a master is to be a servant; etc. I hope
to write 30 chapters – one for each day of the month. The book is no where near
exhaustive but is just seed for thought for the reader. I would feel
embarrassed to even consider such a task except for your encouragement. Some
time ago you wrote, “we wonder when you will write something to be published.”
And since going to SEA for the past two
years I have written a brief report each time on what happened. Several people
have commented on these reports which has encouraged me to be a little more
brazen with my laptop computer. I doubt that that this will ever get in print
but it is good exercise just putting on paper. I am up to chapter 26 in my book
and have another five or six chapters to write. I want to write a couple extra
and then have friends read the manuscripts and cull out the weakest ones. I
would be curious to see a more exhaustive list made than I have compiled and
would be interested in any suggestions from others concerning which ones should
be published.
Please don’t feel any pressure from here to respond to this
flood of letters. I know it is difficult for you to write and I am not
concerned by any lack of reciprocation. If these letters area nuisance just
send a card saying moo ii desu and I will try to be a little more enryo, but in
the absence of such correspondence I may continue to inundate you as I feel
moved in the future. Needless to say you all are in my thoughts and prayers
daily. If you ever see anyone that may remember this Japanese nail-bender
please give them my warmest yoroshiku in the Lord.
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