Rejected Visa

24 January 2010

Dear Phyllis,

Last Sunday night I got on a bus here in Chiang Mai to head for Malaysia to get a one year visa for Thailand. I got home at midnight Friday night. All in all it was a good trip with one minor exception. It was a disaster. It was worse case scenario. I got the worse visa I have ever had for Thailand. The visa agency in Penang told me, “No problem. We can easily get you a one year visa.” When I went back to pick up my passport they said, “We’re sorry, they only gave you a 90 day, single entry, visa.” Now I have 87 days to stay in Thailand and then I will have to think about something else. Of course the Lord is in charge of things like this. He could have easily given me a one year visa, but obviously He has something else in mind after April.

I was stunned when they told me that my request for a one year visa was rejected. Rom. 8:28 is still a fact, and the Lord knows His own mind. But at this point I have no idea what the Lord has in mind for the future. There are several options.

1. I can go back to Penang in three months a try again. They said the chances of getting a one year visa might be better the next time. And even if they only give me another 90 day visa I might be able to do that four times a year. I don’t know how many times I can get 90 day visas, but going to Malaysia isn’t that tough. It is an overnight bus ride from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, and then a 22 hours train ride down to Penang, costing only $50.

2. I can go to Japan in April, and send my passport to the states to get a one year visa stamped in there in Texas. There are a couple of places where I can get a one year visa by mail in Texas. This is somewhat of a doggy act, but there are several people who do it, and I did it once four years ago. I have been asking the Lord to give me a ministry in Japan, and this might be His way of forcing me to go there again. Otherwise, I have no call to go back to Japan for sometime.
3. It maybe that the Lord is closing me down in Thailand.

This is a thought that I really don’t like. I love it here in Chiang Mai. I hope I never have to leave here except for occasional trips to other countries. After coming here for 5 years, and living here for seven, I have put my roots down pretty deep in this spoil. The Lord has provided a wonderful place for me to live. He has given me an excellent selection of carpentry tools, and I greatly enjoy the things I am able to make for others. This is as close to heaven as I expect to get here on this earth.

 But my history is not good. I have found that every place I have ever been, and put down my roots; the Lord has torn those roots completely out of the soil, and sent me elsewhere. Each time has been very painful.

 My first love was Karuizawa. Everyday I was in Karuizawa seemed like a dream. I had the finest property and house in Japan. Literally. I had a most enviable position with the language as director and Japanese teacher. I thought I would rather die than leave Karuizawa. But the day came when I was firmly invited to leave with no place to go. We went to the states for a one year furlough, and then briefly returned to Karuizawa for the sake of placing Dave in the MK school there. But shortly after getting back to Karuizawa, Neil Verwey invited us to come down to Ikoma to work with the Japan mission.

 I thought nothing would ever replace Karuizawa, but Ikoma proved to be a cut slightly higher. I love the Kansai area of Japan, and the Lord gave us the finest house I ever lived in. We were the envy of the wealthy. It was a highlight experience for Japanese just to visit us. Again I wanted do die in that house. But the day came when we got forced out of there.

The biggest event in my life was the loss of my family. I felt certain that it was impossible for us to ever come apart as a family. Things like that just don’t happen to Christians – certainly not to me! But the day came when my world disintegrated, and I came to the end of life’s road.

 For the next five years I was literally homeless. Except for a brief time when I was working as a honey wagon driver, I never slept in my own bed or owned my own pillow.

Then in 1995 the Lord led me to New Life League in Hatoyama. That was like an unimagined dream. Roald Lidal gave me an excellent room in the dormitory and told me that that room was my home for life. I loved NLL, and had every expectation of spending the rest of my life there. But the day came when they no longer needed a carpenter, and I walked away from everything I owned, including my excellent shop of several thousand dollars of tools.

I had no place to go but to return back to Chiang Mai where I had been basing out of for the ministry of carrying Bibles to Christians in the countries around Thailand. My very dear friend, Mark, has given me permission to live in his warehouse for Bibles for free, and this has been my home ever since 2003.

But I wonder, is this the end of the road for Chiang Mai? The Bible logistic ministry has greatly changed in recent years and I do very little of that now. Since Scott came into my life, the Lord has used him to open few doors of ministry. The biggest gift the Lord has given me in many years was my friendship with Jeana Crane. It has been a great privilege to play a small role in her life in helping her on with the Lord. But Jeana is no longer in Thailand. I used to have a slight ministry with the Mennonites, but I can’t recall the last time I was invited to speak at one of their meetings. I’m sure it must be two years or more. If my life has been reduced to bending nails making bookends and napkin holders in my shop, it is highly questionable why I should live in Chiang Mai.

Ironically every time I have been run out of some place it has been with no other place to go – with the slight exception of when I was closed down in Japan and came to Thailand. I have no other place in front of me. I really don’t want to move. But is Jesus saying, “You have been here long enough. Move on.”?

The Lord’s criticism of Moab was that, “He has been at ease…He has settled on his lees and has not been emptied from vessel to vessel.” (Jer. 48:11). This is a process that most of us are unfamiliar with. But the story is told that in making good wine, it is necessary to allow the wine to sit in bottles for some time until the “lees” – the sediment in wine – settles to the bottom of a bottle. When this settles to the bottom, then the wine is carefully poured into a new bottle to allow that process to repeat. It is by being poured from bottle to bottle that the finest wine is made.

 I can thank the Lord that He has not allowed me to settle on my lees without being emptied from bottle to bottle. My entire life has been nothing but a series of being emptied from bottle to bottle. It is no fun. Each time it has been like death. Each time I have said, “I would rather die than leave here.” And yet each time has been a move to a slightly higher privilege. I wouldn’t wish my many wrenching experiences anyone. And yet, in retrospect, I can honestly say, “The Lord’s way has been the best”. It is a painful lonely life, but what the Lord has allowed me to see and do in the past twelve years has easily been the greatest privilege of my life, of which I am totally unworthy.

Where the path leads from here is something I can’t even speculate. There is literally no place for me to go to. I have no home in Japan anymore. It would be extremely difficult return there. I can’t imagine myself living in North America again. I have a burden for the Uyghurs in Xinjiang, west China. I would willing to give my life to see a few Uyghurs saved.  But I have no idea how I could get a visa for China or what I would do if I ever got there. What does the Lord have in store for me? I have no idea but it will be interesting to see where I am 87 days from now.

I believe it was Samuel Rutherford who wrote, “Every joy or trial cometh from above, traced upon our dial by His sun of love.” The Lord has taught me to accept every trial as a gift from His hand to make me more like Himself. If Jesus was made perfect through sufferings (Heb. 2:10); is it possible for us to be “made partakers of His holiness” (Heb. 12:10) by some other means? It was a keen disappointment to come away from Penang with the worst visa I have had yet for Thailand, but this is God’s best and He has something special in store for me through this.

Bless God! Jesus is coming soon and we will see then that these minor difficulties have all been sent from a hand of love and kindness. Murmuring should have no place in our heart.

Looking forward to seeing you before the Throne real soon.

                                                                        bill