Financial Crisis

8 January 2012,

Dear Phyllis,

I am really komaru (big problem). It is Sunday evening and I don't have a thing to write. It isn't that big things haven't been happening. Actually these past two weeks have been the most tumultuous of my life. I week ago I told a friend, “Today is the darkest day of my life.” Arguably it was. But the Lord has proven Himself faithful again, and brought us through howling storms such as I never thought I would see. Two of the problems were horrendous financial crisis. Two times I got struck with bills that were not of my making that went totally beyond our ability to resolve. The devil was marvelous in telling me what a disaster these were going to be, and how Jesus would be greatly dishonored. But both times – quite miraculously – the Lord came through, and these huge bills were settled without having to go against my conviction of borrowing money. Much of some other highly critical issues are still somewhat hanging in the balance. Only time will tell what is going to happen, but, at the moment, the Lord has brought us into a calm where everything is peaceful and relaxed.

The work on the kitchen has come to almost a complete halt. I have done next to nothing in finishing that important project for the past two weeks. Hopefully I will get things moving again tomorrow. I wanted to get that done for a Christmas present for Pammy. I was able to get enough done so it is somewhat functional at the moment. The two main items – the sink and the stove – are working. Man howdy that feels good! Ever since I have lived in this house, all I had for a kitchen was a small sink to brush my teeth in, and about one foot of counter space. In my single days, when I did no cooking, that was all I needed. But as a married couple now we need something radically different. When I get done, I hope Pammy will have a dream kitchen that will be the envy of every house wife in Chiang Mai. But that is coming very slowly.

If there is one thing the Lord has shown me in these past days it is the value of trust. I have a relationship with a close friend that plays a major role in my life. Failed trust is about as deadly a thing as can happen. When that happens, most relationships are terminated right there. If someone proves themselves untrustworthy, what are you supposed to do? Most of my friends have told me in the bluntest terms, “Man, you are crazy! That person is flat NG – no good! Split! Get out! You can only get yourself in deeper trouble” And yet I have been extremely reluctant to cut my friend off.

The most notable thing my friend did was to tell me that he would not promise to do anything behind my back that he knew I did not approve of. That is a tough position. Here is someone I must trust and he tells me straight up that he will not promise to be faithful to me. Reason told me there was nothing I could do but cut him off. But then the Lord showed me a surprising thing. He showed me that is exactly the scenario He is stuck with. He has committed the entire on-going of His Kingdom and the preaching of the Gospel to men who are guaranteed to fail. When I consider my own character and how untrustworthy I have proven myself to be, I am astounded that Jesus still puts up with me. It is a first class tragedy that there should be anyone who claims to be a servant of God who has done as poorly as me.

Admittedly many missionaries are lazy. This is a big problem in Japan. As natural men, most Japanese are better people than many missionaries. They are more disciplined. They work harder. They are more loyal. And in some cases more honest than some missionaries. When an undisciplined missionary comes to a society where people are more industrious and disciplined, it is a hard sell to try to tell them that we have come to tell them how they can be a better people. Most honest observers would look at the comparison and say, “No thank you. I don't need that.”

Fortunately there are some truly outstanding missionaries. Their devotional life is impeccable. Their family life is explanatory. They are selfless and self-sacrificing. They live for others. Some are like the spirit of Daniel, who under the closest examination, his enemies said they could not find a flaw in him except in his religion (Dan. 6:5). Such people rightly deserve the title “servant of God”. But for myself; when I think of who I am, and what I should be, all I can do is hang my head and go to the end of the line.

With this in mind, it made it a little easier to give my friend a little more slack. It may be stupid to place confidence in someone who has proven that they cannot be trusted, but on the other hand, I know of nothing that is more therapeutic, and constructive, than to have someone place confidence in you.

I had a close friend many years ago who had an incorrigible son. I mean to tell you that kid was BAD! He was 16 and into just about every form of vise imaginable. He was regularly sleeping with a 14 year old girl. He was into drugs, and who knows what else. He had long matted hair, and was a disgrace to the family. I advised my friend, “Kick that kid out of your house! You are in sin against God by allowing him to live that life and still sleep under your roof.” To my anguish, my friend continued to put up with the intolerable. The bottom line was amazing. The kid finally got straightened out, and became the best Christian of the family. The little 14 year old girl got saved, and my friend told me, of all his children, she was hands-down his favorite. He said no one had a hunger for God like she did. The significant thing was; when the boy got saved, he told his father,“Dad, the thing that helped me the most was when you continued to place confidence in me, when you had absolutely no reason to do so.”

The all-time classic is Nicky Cruz. Dave Wilkinson had an evangelistic meeting for the street gangs in New York. The cops were e terrified. There were more policemen in that auditorium than street gang members. The dumb stunt of the ages was when Dave Wilkerson decided to take up an offering, and asked the leaders of the two warring gangs to be the ushers to take up the offering. It was a howling joke. They everlastingly took up the offerings – mostly at knife point. When they got the loot, they went back stage, and one gang leader said to the other ,”Okay let's get out of here.” That was assumed. These were two of the worst criminals in New York. They could kill just for the pleasure of it. To steal was assumed. But Nicky Cruz replied, “No way. This is the first time in my life that anyone has ever placed confidence in me, and I am not going to fail him.” Nicky Cruz got saved that night. Not because of the Gospel that Dave Wilkerson preached, but because of the confidence that he placed in him.

In 1989, when my world exploded, I became marginally mental. There is no question but what much of my behavior was bazaar. The only explanation is that I was right at the edge of going completely over the brink. I was working on the big Kichijoji project in Karuizawa. The guy that was the job foreman called down to Nara asking that they send another man up there to replace me. He said, “Cook san is sick.” In one sense he was right. But the thing that saved me was Robby Edmans. Robby and I were working together. When Robby heard that the job foreman had requested a replacement, he was furious. He fired back, “We don't need another man. Bill is just fine.” It was Robby's confidence in me that strengthened me to keep going. Had he not done that, I most certainly would have wound up in a hospital.

In 1979 we had a very outstanding young man, Toru Saito, live with us. He was one of the best house guest he ever had. Toru took hold of the Lord, big time, while he was with us, and wanted to be a pastor. I encouraged him and said, “I see no reason why you would not make a very good pastor. But be careful what seminary you go to.” His family religion was Nihon Kirisuto Kyodan (liberal Christianity). I warned him against liberalism, but his family was furious and insisted he must go to their seminary. While in that seminary, a professor got him off the rails, and he got deeply into demon worship. A year later we got back to Japan from a one year furlough in the states. One night I ran into Toru in Karuizawa. I was delighted to invite him home for supper, but was stunned to discover he was slam full of demons. The next morning I took him back into town and told him, “Toru, you obviously have a serious problem with demons. There is help, and I can cast those demons out of you, but you must want help.” A deep sadness came across his face as he turned to walk away. Eight months later we were in Ikoma when I got a call from a believer in Karuizawa saying Toru had murdered his grandfather, a house maid, and a policeman. He was found mentally insane, and put in the funny farm.

Years later I met Toru in Karuizawa again. He had been released from the mental hospital, but was having a terrible struggle trying to get reestablished back into society . Quite naturally, no one would trust him. He hung on to me like a desperate man clinging to a float in the ocean. My heart went out to him. I was in bad shape myself at that time. I was homeless and in no position to help anyone else. If I had had a home and a family I most certainly would have taken him in again. I felt he was recoverable material. I believe the demons could have been dealt with, and he could have been salvaged to be a profitable contribution to the Kingdom of God. I felt I knew exactly where he was. His greatest need was for someone to place confidence in him.

I remember when Take Sakado came to us in bad shape. Her father had a history of mental illness. Her brother was in a revolving door going in and out of the mental hospital. She found him when he successfully committed suicide. That nearly put her over the brink. She had her option either to be hospitalized herself, or come to live with us. She was virtually a vegetable when she first came. It was pretty tough for the first few weeks. But then one day she was marvelously saved. What a difference! She was going to one of the only two Christian psychiatrist in Japan, Akaboshi sensei. After she got saved, she went for her weekly visit, and told him how Jesus had come into her heart and now she was different. Akaboshi sensei was furious. He replied, “You are a very sick girl!” – and doubled her medication. She was badly depressed when she came home that night. We talked about her problem and need of medication. I asked, “What do you think? Do you think you need that stuff?” She replied, “No. I feel fine.” I said, “Okay, let's forget it, and trust Jesus.”When I placed confidence in her, and told her she was fine, Take bloomed like a rose. She was a great help to us for the nest two years. The last I heard, she is now married and has her own family.

There is something tremendously helpful if someone places confidence in us. It is a tough call, but I have decided, if Jesus has this scenario on His hands, and has to put His trust in men who are guaranteed to fail, I may not be too far out of line in putting my money again on someone who has proven to be untrustworthy. If this does the trick, my friend may turn out to be a real man of God. Maybe this is what Jesus is doing for us.

Thank you again for the privilege of your fellowship;

in the bonds of our worthy Lord Jesus,

bill