25 March 2012
Dear Phyllis,
My sister had a plaque hanging on the
wall in her house – I will restore to you the years that the locust
have eaten. I have never really cared for that verse. It gives a lot
of hope for the future, but I am not sure that the Lord always does
it. In my sisters case, it is hard to judge just what happened.
She married an extremely outstanding
young man, Tom Knapp, and had the brightest prospects for a good
life. Tom was the third generation of a highly successful family in
the little town of Waverly, NY. They owned the largest department
store in the area, and were one of the most respected families. But
Tom was too big a fish for a very small pond. When his dad died, Tom
was left as the owner and manager of the family store while still a
young man. Shockingly he sold the store and got on a plane to go to
Los Angeles to look for a new job. He went from walking the streets,
reading the want adds column in the news paper, looking for a job, to
being the vise president of the Bank of America in less than four
years. But Tom had serious spiritual problems that he never could
resolve. He committed suicide leaving my sister with three small
children and a grim future. By pursuing her careerer as a music
teacher, she was able to keep her comfortable home and did very well
in raising her children. If a persons success in life is measured in
their children, she couldn't have done better. All three have turned
out exceptional. But she never enjoyed a happy married life.
When my family collapsed in 1990, I
said, “I am at the end of lifes road.” The locust in Egypt did
not do as thorough a job in making Egypt bare as what happened to me.
It was just exactly like a house fire – only worse. I lost
everything. I knew a brother, Bill Pape, who had been a missionary in
China before the Mao takeover. When the Communist took the country,
he knew he might have a tentative future, and boiled down his
indispensable possessions to seven boxes. He told the Lord He could
have the rest, but please let him keep those precious seven boxes.
Bill said those seven boxes came between him and the Lord until he
surrendered even those to Christ. Bill said that made it easier when
he ultimately did leave China with only the shirt on his back.
My experience was similar except I
didn't have seven boxes. I had a library of invaluable books, a life
collections of pictures., a house full of comfortable furniture, my
auto harp, a car and a truck, and thousands of dollars of carpentry
tools. When we left Japan to go to Link Care to be healed by two
years of psychotherapy, we walked away from everything. Everything I
owned in this world went in one small suitcase. And then, three weeks
later, my family was dismantled by Link Care. I lost my wife, my
home, my family, all my supporting churches, all my worldly
possessions, most of my friends, and my ministry. I walked out of
Link Care a homeless man with $10 in my pocket. For the next five
years I drifted around Japan building churches, and homes for
missionaries and pastors for free. For eight months I set a historic
precedent by being the only honey-wagon man (a vacuum truck driver,
pumping out toilets) with a commercial pilots license in Japan.
I felt the Lord had down-graded me to a
sub-human status and no longer considered myself a ningen (human).
For the first two years I desperately tried to get back to normal
life as a ningen. Life was worse than death. For years I felt like a
POW. It was like I was locked up in a foreign country and desperately
wanted to get back to my home and family. But that was impossible.
How I longed for the days when I had a beautiful home, a lovely
family, and an endless line of visitors coming to our house, where we
could share Christ with them.
My eight years with New Life League
were good. Roald Lidal gave me a lovely room where I had my own bed,
a comfortable computer chair/desk, and a regular salary. It was a
good life, but the day came when that came to an end. Again, I
walked away from everything except for what few things I could carry
in my backpack.
My dear friend Mark was good to me in
allowing me to live in his Bible warehouse for free. There was a
refrigerator, and a bed in the house. I made myself a marvelous chase
lounge for devotions. But beyond that I never wanted to collect any
more things than what I could carry on my back.
Over the years my desperation over
relearning how to live as a single man eased up. Twenty one years
passed. I longed for the days when had a home ministry, but that was
impossible; and my limitation with the Thai language restricted me to
a very small area of ministry.
Then, totally unsolicited, and
unexpected, a lovely lady appeared on the horizon who was very
aggressive in her determination to be my wife. I said for years that
if I ever married again the next girl would have to propose to me.
She did. I said “whoa”. I flat didn't like her. To consider
someone like that was ridiculous! But I was startled how the Lord
kept changing my mind. Time and again I was determined to say,
“Please split” only to be startled by discussing, “IF we get
married...” I later thought, “What in the world did I say?” I
began to feel like the Lord had sent her to me, and it was my call to
accept someone He had sent or refuse her. You know the rest of the
story. It has been seven months now.
Unexpectedly Mark pulled out of this
area closing down his Bible warehouse. That left us with the choice
to step forward to accept the house and pay the rent from now on, or
move out. That decision wasn't too difficult. For the first time I
had a totally empty house on my hands. Over the years I had thought,
if the Lord ever did send me a partner, I would like to reconstruct
and make a totally new kitchen. It still isn't finished, but enough
of it is done that women scream with envy and delight when they see
what Pammy has. This has got to be the finest kitchen in Chiang Mai.
I doubt there is another kitchen remotely like it in northern
Thailand. I still have the wall cabinets to go, but the base cabinets
are more than a dream. I never tire of sitting on one of the swivel
stool I made to go with the breakfast nook island and gaze at this
gorgeous knotty pine Throne Room Pammy has for her ministry. We are
just beginning to have people in to eat with us. The Lord has rolled
the clock back, and I am enjoying the ministry we had 30 years ago at
the Joy Corral in Ikoma.
The locust devoured everything, leaving
the country bone bare. Nearly a quarter of a century passed, but
suddenly the desert is blooming like the Garden of Eden.
Pammy is a wonderful partner. I never
cease to marvel at the one Jesus sent to me. We are quite dissimilar
except for our common bond in Christ. But we are getting alone very
well. I really love this girl. There were some horrific problems for
the first few months, but we are understanding each other better, and
the Lord is molding both of us to be better partners. This is a first
time experience for me. From day one, Rosemary never accepted our
marriage as the will of God for her life. As a consequence, in 20
years, she never once said to me from her heart “I love you”. At
best she was stuck with a man she desperately didn't want. Pammy is a
very affectionate loving wife. Her love and respect for me is
genuine. She was a very strong willed, independent, lady pastor. It
has been a terrible change for her to suddenly be a submissive
conservative missionary wife. The role is radically different. But
she is adopting to it better than I thought was possible.
For several months friends would ask
me, “Can Pammy cook?” My answer was, “I don't know.” I
honestly don't know what we ate. I flat cannot handle Thai cooking.
That stuff is so hot (spicy) that it glows in the dark. That stuff is
so hot it would defrost a meat freezer. Most of it burns my lips, and
if it gets in my mouth, the taste buds are gone for hours. If I eat
Thai food, my mouth is burning so badly, that it makes ice water
steam. Pammy must have an asbestos mouth as she eats things with
relish that a fire marshal would ban. But she is keeping the bad
stuff away from me. And she is coming up with some dishes that I
genuinely enjoy eating. Fortunately – or unfortunately – she is
starting to develop a taste for some of my favorite foods. I say ,
“unfortunately” because it is getting more difficult to keep
those things in the refrigerator. My favorite fruit juice, granola,
cheese, potato chips, etc disappear at an alarming rate.
Her primary gift is evangelism. I have
written to you about this before. I never cease to marvel at the way
she witnesses. She came home the other night and said, "I just
led another lady to the Lord at the market." While shopping, she
engaged a stranger, and before they finished she asked the woman,
“Would you like to ask Jesus to be your savior.?” When the lady
responded yes, Pammy said, “Well, let's pray right now.” I don't
know how many of these people are really saved, but it sure doesn't
hurt to push salvation. As a partner serving the Lord, I couldn't be
more pleased. The other day we were talking with a university
professor friend of ours. As I looked at her radiant face telling
this dear man about Jesus, I thought, “What a wonderful
co-worker!”
It is wonderful to have someone live
with me serving Jesus who loves me. It is wonderful to have a homey
home again. It is wonderful to be back in the society of ningens
again. But the Lord has given me one other special bonus. For 21
years one of the things I missed the most was my dog. We always had
marvelous dogs living in our home. The first week we were married we
were out visiting a home that had puppies. Pastor Kichikun picked up
a pup and put it in his car. I asked, “What are you going to do
with that dog?” He replied, “I am taking it home. It will be my
dog.” But when he dropped us off at our place, the pup got
unloaded. I asked again, “What about your dog?” This time he
replied, “She is yours. Pammy wants her.” Chotto matte (just a
minute)! I wasn't prepared for that, but the dog stayed. Oh my
goodness, what a blessing! Black Canyon (what a stupid name!) is the
most wonderful dog I have ever had. She is a little black
I-don't-know-what. But the Lord doesn't make dogs any better than
Black Canyon. She is highly intelligent, a lovely disposition, and
very obedient. I thought Pammy and I would have a real struggle over
how to raise a dog, but generally we are agreed. Black Canyon is in
the house most of the time. Her favorite time of the day is early
morning when I get up to let her out to go potty. Then she loves to
sit on my chair with me for two hours while I have my morning
devotions with the Lord.
As I sit here day by day basking in all
the Lord has done in reconstructing my life, all I can say is that
indeed He has restored the years that the locust have eaten. At 76 I
have a more blessed life than I did when I was 36.
Two weeks ago I wrote you about the
terrible storm that tore up my shop, nearly destroyed my Bible and
soaked my computer. The computer is fine,, I am using my Bible every
day, and the shop is amazingly in good shape. The locust are gone and
the blessing of God has filled the land.
How can I ever adequately thank God?
bill
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