Calamity

18 October 2015

Dear Phyllis,

1980 was the most calamitous year of my life – up to that point. It later got worse. I can't begin to innumerate the disasters that fell upon us but the highlights were; I got sacked from the language school, which had been my life, we were told to leave our house, which had been the greatest treasure in my life, and we had been ostracized from the missionary community in Karuizawa where I had always had a very good relationship. I was glassy eyed and staggering when we arrived back home to Greenville, SC. But all the calamities that had fallen upon us were only the warm-up for the main event that was about to happen.

There were three main pillars in my life. One was our home church in Greenville, one was Joe Carroll, to whom I had devoted my life, and one was a wonderful Baptist church in Glendale, that had been our main support for the past seven years. I had given 1972 and 73 to Joe in working on his new Evangelical Institute Bible school in Greenville. My plans were to return to Greenville and give him one more year working for him for free. To my utter bewilderment when I got home I discovered I was persona non-grata at the Institute. But more bewildering was our home church. Previously we had been very popular missionaries and a top speaker. But we returned back home to spend nine months attending church regularly and not even being introduced that we were in the audience, much less, never being asked to lead in payer or standing in the pulpit one time. The explanation for these two mysteries was truly amazing.

But after spending nine months in Greenville we went west to stay with Bob Holsten in a little cow town in Colorado. Oh, I thought I had arrived in heaven when we got to Colorado. But we hadn't been there long before we heard from our home church in Greenville that we had been deleted from the fellowship and, totally unexplained, our main supporting church in Glendale called to say that they were dropping our support. Crash!

That July I was one of five drivers in a five truck caravan hauling a new school teacher from San Jose, Calif, to Wiggins, Colo. We had been driving almost non-stop for two days. At 2:00 AM we came to a small rodeo site in a deserted place in Nevada and pulled in for a brief rest. We slept for three hours on the roof of our trucks and cranked up again to go on at 5:00. At 6:00 we pulled into a restaurant in a rest area for breakfast. Such a life was not conducive to a deep devotional life and while waiting for my pancakes I got out my Bible for a brief time of devotion. At random I opened my Bible to Job and read, “I go forward but He is not there, and backward but I cannot perceive Him: on my left hand where He doeth work but i cannot behold Him. He hideth Himself on the righth hand that I cannot see Him. But He knoweth the way that I take; when He hath tried me I shall come forth as gold. … I have esteemed the Words of His mouth more than my necessary food. But He is of one mind and who can turn Him? And what His soul desireth even that He doeth. For He performeth the thing that is appointed for me.” Oh my goodness! What a moment! If ever there was a shaft of light that pierced the darkness of my soul it was that morning. What a joy it was to be reminded that when I was in darkness and couldn't see three feet in front of me Jesus was still there. He knew all about it and He was the One who was going to “perform the thing that was appointed for me”.

It was shortly after that that one day it suddenly dawned on me the only way I could know what to do for my impossible future was to get a word from God. There was a wonderful Bible school, Raven Crest, in Estes Park. I knew Chris Thomas who was the director and called him asking if I could stay there for five days of fasting and prayer to seek the Lord. What happened that week is another more amazing story that space will not allow me to share right now. The gist of it was that I wound up going to a Cliff Barrows family conference and never missed a meal. But the bottom line was, the last night – through the most unimaginable way – the Lord spoke to me showing me what to do.

When I got back to the ranch Rosemary asked how I made out at Raven Crest. I said, “Great! I went to a family conference and never missed a meal.” She groaned, “Oh no! Now you have to go back and do it again.” I replied, “No. Pack the bags. We are going back to Japan.”

That was in August 1981 We had always been badly under-supported. We had the lowest missionary support in Karuizawa. Now we had lost 90% of that. We didn't have enough support to buy dog food. But we got on a plane to go home to Japan.

A year later we were with Japan Mission in Ikoma. They paid for the construction of the finest home I ever lived in – the Joy Corral. Our neighbor, Terauchi, was the 12^th wealthiest man in Japan. He had a private swimming pool that he asked me to take care of and consider it our own private swimming pool. As far as I know I was the only missionary in Japan with a private swimming pool.

This past Friday morning I had a wonderful time of meeting with the Lord. He reminded me of all His astounding goodness to me. I wept as I pleaded, “Lord Jesus, eternity is inadequate to thank You for all You have done for me.” Oh my goodness, angels exhaust themselves worshiping God. Where do we stand? Angels know nothing, personally, of the debt we owe to the Lord for forgiveness of sin, salvation, and being placed in Christ. Should we not out-shout them in saying, “Thank You Lord! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!...” Oh what can we do? I am mattaku komaru (huge big problem). The only thing I have is an empty cup to hold out to Jesus. My hands are slam empty. I have absolutely nothing to offer Him. If I was a young man and gifted, I could offer Him my life. But at 80 and sitting on my balcony 12 hours a day with virtually nothing to do, the only thing I can think of is prayer. But that is one of my weakest points. I am trying to spend a little time in prayer each day. But most of my time is spent void of a spirit of prayer. I am toughing it out for a few minutes on my knees reminding the Lord of a few things that need His attention. How can we honor His Name and bring the Kingdom of God down here so that His will is being done, in our lives and surroundings, as it is being done in heaven? I don't know. My only consolation is that He sees me. He knows the way I should go. And He must perform the thing that is appointed for me. Oh Lord Jesus, You are wonderful.

                                      bill