27 August 2017
Dear Phyllis,
Indescribable
is the only word in the English that is available to describe the
beauty and glory of our Lord Jesus. He is so much beyond our
comprehension that it is like a child holding a handful of water and
saying he has the ocean in his hand. We might as well go to the top of a
small hill, hold a yard stick up in the air and say we are measuring
the breadth of the universe as to think our limited intellect can take
in the magnitude of who Jesus and His Father are. How I wish I could
see, and how I wish I could paint a picture of the beauty of our
indescribable Lord. I frequently sit with Bartimaeus holding out our tin
cups, begging for alms. But I envy Bartimaeus. When he heard that Jesus
was passing by he made such a racket that it caught Jesus' attention,
and consequently was healed and got his sight. The last I saw of
Bartimaeus, he was leaving town following Jesus in the way (Mk. 10:52). I
heard that he was with the 120 in the upper room when the Holy Spirit
descended on the day of Pentecost and later he became a famous
evangelist. I say this because of all the people in the Bible that met
Jesus, he is the only one that is known also by his father's name. The
only other men we have in the scripture listed with their fathers name
are some of the 12. When the Bible tell us that this was “blind
Bartimaeus the son of Timaeus” (Mk. 10:46), that is a strong argument
that he was a very well known evangelist in the early church. I knew a
man in Japan who was an alcoholic but later was wonderfully saved, and
became a well known speaker. Whenever he stood to give a message he
would introduce himself by saying, “I am Hiroshi the drunk”. I am sure
Bartimaeus was known as Blind Bartimaeus. But after he threw down his
garment (Mk. 10:50) when he rushed to Jesus, I picked it up hoping that
someday I might have his good fortune and Jesus might give me better
sight.
In
all honesty it is not true, or honoring to the Lord, to say that I am
totally blind. The Lord has been extremely good to me in giving a little
sight, but when I look at the beauty of the Lord it is like I see men
as trees walking (Mk. 8:24). Occasionally I do get glimpses of the Lord
and what I see is mind boggling, but then a have a further frustration
in being incapable of describing what I see.
The
other night I saw a video of Ravi Zacharias in Iraq. What he saw and
what he was talking about was sickening. That mess is evil that goes
beyond our imagination. And yet in a very perverse way we have to thank
God for evil. If we didn't have dark we would never know light. Stars
are invisible in the day time. It takes the blackness of the night to
reveal the light of the stars. If we didn't have cold we would never
appreciate warm. A cheery warm fireplace is no fun on a hot summer day,
but it has a marvelous magic to sit in front of it when it is freezing
outside. Ravi said one of the pluses coming out of the carnage in Iraq
is the heroic, outstanding work being done by Christian aid workers. The
evil of ISIS makes the beauty of the love of Christ, demonstrated by
Christian workers, shine like you don't see any where else. We would
never appreciate the wonder of love and righteousness if we didn't have
the hideousness of evil.
Maybe
I should thank God for my poor eyesight. If I wasn't so blind maybe I
wouldn't appreciate what little the Father has shown me of the beauty of
His Son. I love to see fighters (aircraft) and powered parachutes. When
I hear a fighter going over low level or hear the drone of a powered
parachute, I run out side to get a better look. If trees are in the way,
I run to anyplace where I can get a better look. I wish the Father
would make a hole in the door of heaven that we might peek through to get
a glimpse of our Lord on His Throne. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure
in heart for they shall see God” (Mt. 5:8). Then, Lord, give me a more
pure heart. Oh that we had the heart to crave a better look at Jesus. My
eyes are terrible but that problem isn't as bad as the lethargy of my
heart. Perhaps Bartimaeus' beggars garment might do me more good than
spending time in a library filling my mind with knowledge. Hang it! I
don't care how, I just want to know the Lord.
Four
hundred yeas ago a Scottish man wrote, “I went to hear a man preach
(Blair), and he told me all my heart. The next Sunday I heard another
man preach (Dixon), and he told me of the majesty of God. Then I heard
Samuel Rutherford preach, and he told me of the loveliness of Jesus.”.
No one has ever seen more or spoken more eloquently of the loveliness of
Jesus than Samuel Rutherford. The letters of Rutherford are filled with
the Song of Solomon. I know of no other place that speaks more of the
loveliness of Jesus than the Song of Solomon. If we accept that the
Church is the Bride of Christ, there is no other place that describes to
us that relationship. Unfortunately that is a portion of Scripture that
most people avoided like it was a traffic ticket. Personally, that is
the scripture I turn to when I am the driest and need to drink from the
well. The other day I was in a deep quest for a glimpse of Jesus and
went there hoping to find something to tell me about His beauty. Apart
from a few isolated passages, the only place I found that spoke in any
detail about His person was chapter 5:10-16. But to my intense
frustration I was reminded again that the entire 4th chapter
is the speech of Jesus telling His Bride how beautiful she is. Many
years ago, when I was teaching the S. of S. in the Bible school in
Karuizawa, I was bewildered to find so much was devoted to speech of
Jesus telling His Bride how much He loved her and how beautiful she is,
and so little the other way of the Believer raving about Jesus. By
actual word count, I discovered the score was 5 to 1. I thought there
must be a serious mistake. Reality is, the Bride is anything but
beautiful. I am utterly depressed when I see the unspeakable sin and
hypocrisy in the Church. Jesus gave His life for us and we feel strained
to give Him the time of day. As I wrestled with this problem and asked
the Lord why His Book should read this way, the Lord showed me it is not
that we love God but that He loves us. If we get serious and try to put
on paper the measure of our love for the Lord, compared to His love for
us, the score would be astronomically more than 5 to 1.
Oh
the pain! I told the Lord, “It is not fair!” Oh grief, that the ocean
of His love for us is so deep and our shallow love for Him is measured
in tea spoons. Daily, I beg God if there is only one thing that He might
do for me, please let it be that Jesus would totally own me and give me
a larger heart to love Him more. No man ever had a caving for the Lord
like Rutherford and yet his constant complaint was his spiritual
poverty. Then he wisely observed that our greatest need is a hunger for God,
and pleaded with God to fill him with hunger. If barrenness, blindness,
and starvation are the qualifications for a seeker, then I am truly a
blessed man.
Oh
Lord why should it be that there should be One in heaven that is so
wonderful and we sit here like children playing in the sand thinking we
are serving God? Oh Lord, speak so loud that the deaf can hear and shine
in our hearts to brightly that we might more clearly see the beauty of
Your worthy Son. Please, Father, do it for Jesus sake.
bill
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