Grieving

22 Apr, 2001

Dear Phyllis,

Your most welcomed letter came just two hours after I posted last weeks letter to you. I was so excited when I read it that I nearly sat down to write you an immediate reply, but I have waited until my usual Sunday date with you. There were many things you mentioned in your letter but the one that struck me the most is that you said the Lord had spoken to you about two things. First He said not to grieve over Ted any longer, and secondly not to feel lonely in your house any longer. That sounds very much like the Lord to me. The amazing thing about the Lord’s Voice when He speaks to us, is that it carries unusual power to perform His commands. I could feel the power here just to have you share with me what He said.

I remember one very sad night. Rosemary was in the throes of leaving me and we had just been in a very turbulent “Elders meeting” at TEAM Center in Tokyo. It had been a shout-down between Rosemary and the brethren all afternoon, but towards evening she backed off and “repented” saying that she would stick with the marriage. I laid in bed sobbing. Rosemary asked, “Why are you crying?”, and I replied, “Because tonight is the night I have lost you.” Rosemary herself, didn’t understand it, but I knew it was over and – tragically – subsequent events proved I was correct. It was like someone had died, but then the Lord rebuked me for my tears and told me to quit. That was it and shortly I was asleep.  

 I am glad the Lord told you to stop grieving. I wouldn’t have thought of that, but I agree that it is wrong to grieve anymore. The Lord is very patient and understanding with us. He knows our hearts and allows us to be very human, but then when enough is enough He steps in and tells us it is time to dry our tears. Of course there is sorrow. Of course there is loneliness, but there is the other side of the rainbow. It takes both the rain and the sun to produce a rainbow and there is a bright side even in the worst of our sorrows. Remember there is a rainbow around the Throne (Rev. 4:3). It is wonderful how God takes our sorrows and turns them into something beautiful. Even Rachel’s son was called Benoni (son of my sorrows) when he was born, but his father called him Benjamin (son of my right hand) [Gen. 35:18]. Someday we will look back at our sorrows and see the rainbow as the grace of God shines upon our tears. I am not old enough, nor experienced enough, to comment on the presence of the Lord filling your house. If indeed the Lord does this for you, I am sure there is no piece of furniture that is so precious that it is a loss to remove if it can be replaced by Christ’s presence. It is only when we stubbornly hold onto our choice treasures that the Lord has a hard time moving in. Usually, before He can move in something must first be moved out. When the Lord took our little son TJ, I never felt like He had taken him away from us, but only that the Lord had moved TJ to a higher shelf. There was grief, but it was brief, and after that real peace that the Lord had done the right thing.

I have been so busy entertaining guests here that I have hardly had time to do any work. Mark and his family were here two weeks ago, then I had a call from my very good friend in Ikoma, Hirota san, saying he was coming for a visit. He had just barely gotten on the train when another brother, who lives in Hanoi, Vietnam, came for two days. Dave Waters is from New Zealand and has lived in Hanoi for five years. He is one of the key contacts there. When I first went to Vietnam two years ago I was told, “When you get to Hanoi, contact Dave Waters.” Since then I have seen him several times in Hanoi as he is one of the main contacts to receive a lot of the Bibles we have brought into the country. Dave was awestruck when he saw this operation and very taken when he saw so of the things that are printed here. We have two tracts on evolution that caught his attention that he wants for Vietnam. Going through our file we discovered that the first one had already been printed in Vietnamese but was out of print. He made arrangement to have another 50,000 printed that he wants to use there. The second was a large Japanese New Life tract done here that has never been in any other language but Japanese. I had the girl in charge of that tract call the Japanese pastor who had written it, and had Dave speak to him on the phone. He is going to send Dave an English transcript of that tract and Dave will put it into Vietnamese. Then they will redo the layout here to print up several thousand. The design department did a super job on that layout and Dave especially wanted it just as the Japanese copy looked. They have a problem with the Japanese script running up and down and Vietnamese is written horizontal, but the fellows here said they could straighten it out. Dave also asked if we could do a run of 20,000 to 30,000 Vietnamese Bibles of a new translation. If they get all this done we will be very busy trying to get all this stuff to him inside the country. He said he doubted very seriously that I would be able to get in Vietnam for a while after our arrest in Monte in January. He advised me to stay low for a while and then try to get a visa later. He recommend that I concentrate more on Laos and Burma and let Vietnam settle down.

We aren’t seeing anything in Vietnam of the magnitude of what is going on in China, but the Lord is doing a very significant work among the minority people. The minority groups only constitute about 13% of the total population of Vietnam, but there are far more tribe people saved than there are Vietnamese. Among these simple hill tribes there have been so many amazing miracles. I have heard of several cases of the dead being raised and some outstanding healings are not uncommon. While Dave was here, he spoke at our morning devotions one day and told a couple of interesting testimonies.

In one village there was a sorcerer who was famous for his power in healings. But he was unable to heal his own wife. In time she was in contact with some Christians who prayed for her and she got better. Through this she was saved and somehow got a Bible. However, she was unable to read and the only one in the village who could read was her husband. She prevailed upon him to read the Bible to her and, as a result, he got saved. After they started serving the Lord together a young couple were converted and wanted a Christian wedding. No one had ever seen a Christian wedding and they didn’t have the faintest idea what you were supposed to do. But people came from far and near for this Christian. The former sorcerer preached the Gospel to the crowd like a regular dendo kai then turned to the young couple and said, “OK you’re married now!”, and 100 souls came to Christ through that wedding. Maybe we could do with a little less ceremony if it would produce a little more power.

You said you would be going to Texas on the 2^nd of May and back on June 1^st.  I will continue to write even if you are not there. I have to leave here around the 18^th of May to get down to Chiang Mai to take a team into north central Laos. I don’t know how long I will be in SEA this time or what I will do if I can’t get into Vietnam. We might make several trips into Laos and I might see if I can get into that dangerous area to try to contact the American MIA in there. One problem is that it will be rainy season and that area is impassable during that time of year. If they aren’t too far off the road I might be able to get in on horseback but flooding rivers are a serious problem. The monsoon season isn’t really that bad. It is nothing like the Japanese tsuyu. Tsuyu here is just endless days of drippy weather, but there they usually have fairly nice days, except there are usually several showers every day. It rains and then the sun comes out. But the roads are really muddy.

I have a suggestion that might sound intimidating, but please pray about it. Have you ever gotten into computers? I was terrified by them and thought I would never break into the awesome cyber world. The Lord had to use the most extreme measure to drag me into computers, but once I got in, this has changed my life. Having my laptop now is just like living with someone to talk to. I never typed a thing until I got my first word-pro. That got me typing, but then the word-pro quit and I had to break into computers. Now I can only do about 5% of what this thing is capable of, but it is more than adequate to enable me to communicate. E-mail is the mode of the future (present). Most of the letters I write now are sent E-mail and I am increasingly amazed how simple it is. Most of the names are on file and all I have to do is type the first couple letters, and the computer automatically fills in the address. I type out the message and hit “Send” and the thing is on its way. It would really open the world up to you considerably if you could break into E-mail. It is really easier than calling on a phone. It is considerably cheaper than calling and you don’t have to worry about whether or not they are in bed or out. Just jot off a note anytime of day and as soon as the other person sees it they can answer at their leisure. Also the spelling and grammar check is absolutely invaluable. I am so dum that I kant spel nife, but the word check straightens all that out for me. I marvel that I ever had the courage to write anyone a letter before, and they must have scratched their heads hard trying to figure out what I had wirtten. Anyway this thing has changed my life and I believe you would find it a major event in your life if you ever got in.

This will probably be my last letter before you leave for Texas, but I trust you will have a marvelous time down there. Challenge your sisters to all go on line and get into E-mail. You will be surprised what it kan do for yu.

Thank you again for your most welcomed letter and every remembrance you make of me before the Throne. We may not be able to see Him yet but we can speak daily to the same One that Ted is looking at. What a privilege!

 

                                                                      In the grace of the God of all comfort,

                                                                                                 Even our Lord Jesus, bill