Visiting the Heart Specialist

5 February 2012

Dear Phyllis,

It's 5:00AM Sunday morning. I just had some brief devotions. Sundays are becoming increasingly hectic these days making it difficult to get my weekly letter off to you.

In a serious attempt to get this one off on time I want to get started now. Very little earth shaking events have happened this past week. The most traumatic one was when I accidentally erased my letter to you last week, and – as there were a couple of things that I did want to share with you – I am going to try to reproduce it now.

A week ago I was speaking to Pammy's friend, Keosiri's Saturday morning group, in Ban Suwan. My text was, “This is My beloved Son: hear Him!” (Mk. 9:7). In it I told an interesting testimony that I had heard many years ago at PBI (Prairie Bible Institute).

Sarah Jepson was speaking, and shared the story of a close friend of hers who had been a missionary to Africa, but sent home for retirement. This dear sister had a burden to reach Jews and went through the New York Yellow Page phone directory making a list of all the Jewish heart specialist doctors in NY. She would make an appointment to see a doctor. When she would sit down with him, the doctor would ask, “Now, maam, what is the trouble with your heart?” She would reply, “Doctor, I didn't come here to talk about my heart but your heart.” The doctor would predictably explode and roar, “You stupid woman, get out of here!” She would say, “Doctor, calm down. I have 15 minutes of your time. I am going to pay for this, but I want to tell you about Jesus Christ and how you can be saved.” For the next 14 minutes he would sit there doing a slow burn while she spoke to him about the Lord. Then she would ask, “Doctor are you an honest man?”

“Yes, of course I am!”

Doctor, do you keep your word?”

“Of course I do!”

“I have a request. Sometime today, or in the near future, when you are all alone in a room, I would like you to ask two prayers. Say, 'God, did You have a Son?' And secondly,'Was His Name Jesus?'”

She would leave a name card, pay her bill, and go on to the next doctor to do it all over again.

Sarah said her friend told her, it was amazing how many doctors would call back a few days later, saying, “I did what you told me. The answer is Yes. Now what do I do?”

I told the folks that Saturday, “There are two things God wants of you. He wants you to know that Jesus is His Son; and, secondly, He wants you to hear Him. It is interesting that the first public confession of who Jesus was came from the mouth of the devil. In the first meeting that we are told of, with Jesus preaching in a synagogue, there was a demon possessed man who cried out, “I know Thee, who Thou art, the holy one of God.” (Mk. 1:24). I told the folks, “If you know that Jesus is the Son of God, the only difference between you and the devil is whether or not you will hear Him. And hearing means to obey.”

That night Pastor Kichikun called me saying he was sick and asked me to speak the next day. For that message, I spoke from my favorite book, the Song of Solomon. There is no question but what the central character of this marvelous little book is Jesus. And this is the account of His relationship with His Bride. Realizing this, a Christian can honestly read this as a first person account of the Christian life, and his relationship with Jesus. In it there are three verses that appear to be identical– S. of S. 2:16, 6:3, and 7:10.

In the first one (2:16) we read, “My Beloved is mine and I am His.” How we used to love to sing, “Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine; oh what a foretaste of glory divine!” Praise God that is true! What an awesome privilege it is to be able to say, “Jesus is mine!” The full impact of that never really hit me until one night I was in Syracuse, NY. Rosemary was sick in the hospital. There was another fine lady in the same room, and I would meet her husband every night during visiting hours. One night, when we were leaving, I got to talking to him on our way out sharing with him a few things the Lord had done for me. He was Catholic, and had never heard anything like that in his life. I will never forget how we stood there in that parking lot, and he looked at me with the most intense expression on his face, and said, “If I had a God like that I wouldn't have a problem in the world.” That remark hit me like a hammer. He was right. What an awesome privilege we have! What more could you ask? God has given us the supreme gift of heaven when He gave us His Son. With a God like that, who could ask more? I told the believers at Kichikun's Life in Christ Church,“If you can honestly say, 'Jesus is mine', you are one of the most privileged persons on this planet”.

In the Song of Sol. verses 2:16 and 6:3 appear to be identical. I had the folks read both of them, and nearly everyone agreed that they were. But there is one significant difference; 2:16 says “My Beloved is mine and I am His”, but 6:3 says “I am my Beloved's and He is mine”. The order has been changed. This is Christian maturity. We are not critical of babies and children when they think first of their needs and possessions. And it is only natural for new believes to be overwhelmed with the miracle that Jesus is their savior. But as we go on with the Lord, there is something even more wonderful. It is not so much that Jesus is mine , but the miracle that I am His. There is nothing unusual that I should choose Jesus. If you had a shot at something like that, who wouldn't choose Jesus? But why in the world He chose me is something that simply blows my mind. Tozen (naturally) it is the right thing that I should say, “Yes, I accepted Jesus”,but it is an inexplicable mystery that He choose me to be His possession.

There are two things about that statement – “I am His” – that blows me away. The first is that I am His selection. And the second is that I am His possession. As I go on in my walk with the Lord I find my greatest comfort is knowing that I am His. When I think of my possession I can be concerned about keeping it, but when I realize I am His possession, then the responsibility reverts to Him, and His care for His own. To realize that Jesus is the good Shepherd and He takes good care of His own sheep, is the answer to all my needs. I love my dog and never let my dog go hungry. How is it possible that Jesus should not take better care of His own sheep?

As I go on with the Lord I find myself being less focused on myself and my concerns, and more focused on Him and His concerns. It is not so much, what is my possession? as it is what is His possession? First of all, knowing that I am His possession gives me a serious responsibility to Him. If I am self-employed, then I only owe it to myself. But if I belong to someone else, then I have a responsibility to my employer. This means I must be more careful about how I spend His time and His possessions. And His concerns become my concerns.

In the Song of Sol. verses 2:16 and 6:3 appear to be identical. Verse 7:10 is still on the same theme, but much different. Here it says, “I am my Beloved's, and His desire is towards me.” Here my possession is not in the equation. It is simply I am His and His desire. Very frankly, in my walk with the Lord I have gotten to verse 6:3, but verse 7:10 is beyond me. We sing the children's song, “Jesus loves me, this I know for the Bible tells me so”. That is fine. But realistically...? People say to me occasionally, “Jesus must love you very much.” No way. I can't see a reason in the world why Jesus should love me. It simply amazes me that He put up with me, but that His desire should be towards me...? How can it be?

The most bewildering verse I know in the Bible is S of S 4:9 - “Thou hast ravished My heart, My sister, My spouse.” It is a great mystery that God loves sinners. Humanity should stand in wonder and awe at Rom. 5:8 – “But God commandeth His love towards us in that while we were yet sinners (criminals against Him) , Christ died for us.” Who in the world can take that in?! That goes totally beyond anything that is reasonable. But that Jesus should say to us, “Thou hast ravished My heart, My sister, My spouse.”...? The first time I taught the Song of Sol. I ran into that verse and pleaded with the Lord for an explanation. At that time, the Lord took me back to Gen. 45:1-5, when Joseph revealed himself to his brothers. What a terrifying moment that must have been for them. But for Joseph it was heart wrenching. He simply grabbed them and wept on their shoulders. He had a deep love for his brothers, and longed to be with them. Joseph never cried on the shoulders of the Egyptians, but when his brothers showed up, that tore up his heart. When I read S of S 4:9 I wondered how Jesus could say such a thing, but then I stood with Joseph's brothers as they saw Joseph weep. I realized that I was more guilty than they were; but –like Joseph – there was something inside of Christ that was beyond me. There is nothing in me that would make me appeal to Christ, but there is something inexplicable inside of Jesus that He loves me.

The Gospel of John is arguably the most amazing document ever written. In the entire book, John never once mentions his own name or uses the first person pronoun. He calls Peter, Andrew, Thomas, etc by name, but never mentions himself. He always refers to himself as “that disciple”, or “another disciple”, but never says “I”. But from chapter 13 on, five times, he refers to himself by another title. In verses 13:23, 19:26, 20:2, 21:7 and 21:20 He refers to himself as “the disciple WHOM JESUS LOVED”. And in the last reference of himself he re-accounts the event that happened at the Last Supper when he was“leaning on Jesus' breast”.

Obviously this was the most dominant thing in John's heart. There was a tremendous awareness that Jesus loved him. How did he get that way? When I consider the sinfulness and deadness of my own cold heart; then I look at the Lord and realize the terrific price He paid for me; that the Father would place on me a price tag of the Blood of His Son; and that Jesus paid that price in the full; all I can do is wonder and worship.

The Christian life starts out with the joyous declaration, “My Beloved is mine and I am His”. It progresses to “I am my Beloved's, and He is mine”. But the culmination is in, “I am my Beloved's and His desire is towards me”. John came to the overwhelming awareness that he was a disciple whom Jesus loved. Theologically I have no problem in accepting that that is what is what the Bible teaches. But realistically it seems beyond my grasp to lay hold of this. It is here that I stand with the man in the hospital parking lot in Syracuse who said, “If I had a God like that I wouldn't have a problem in the world.” I stand beside him and say, “If the light of this truth would ever break through the darkness and hardness of my heart to know that He loves me and His desire is towards me; poverty, tribulation, trials, problems would all fade away.” There are moments when it does. Now and again we do get glimpses of light here.

Robert Murray McCheyne wrote,
“When I stand before Thy Throne,

Dressed in beauty not my own;

When I see Thee as Thou art,

Love Thee with unsinning heart;

Then, Lord, shall I know;

And not 'til then how much I owe.

Oh, what will it be like, then?

bill