20 July 2014
Dear Phyllis,
I write you today with my heart filled with joy and peace. My life is a mess, but I have as much joy as my little pail will hold.
Last week things looked pretty grim. For four weeks my body had deteriorated to the point that I was next door to total paralysis. My right arm hung helplessly at my side. Getting dressed was an utter impossibility. For three weeks I couldn't turn over in bed. It took two hands to brush my teeth. When I tried to type I could place my right hand on the key board with my left but I couldn't make it cooperated. To make a capital letter I had to move my thumb over the shift key and then hit the other letter that I wanted to type. Saturday night I went to the hospital and they proved that I was perfectly healthy.
The miracle happened Wednesday. My Niece Pam Gill had given me up for dead. She wrote, “Uncle Bill, would you please have someone write me to tell me when you die and go to be with Jesus. Do you want to be buried in Thailand?” Wednesday night I wrote her the following letter:
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Dear Pammy,
You will be encouraged to hear that I am out the back side of this tunnel. This trial is over. There is not a chance in a thousand that I will die in the near foreseeable future.
Last night my hand was swollen badly. Obviously there was something wrong. I soaked it in hot water but this morning it looked worse. Two things developed. The first was that, at last Saturday nights visit to the hospital, the doctor said that we should come in Wednesday to talk to another doctor who was more of an X-ray specialist. But the most amazing thing was that God worked in my heart giving me a desire to go to the hospital. I really wanted to see a doctor about my hand.
When I went to school this morning I asked Singha if he would take me to the hospital this afternoon. He was more than delighted. They were highly frustrated when I would not let them take me there yesterday. The hospital was a government hospital which was infinitely less expensive. (We paid the obscene price of $10 for the shot that cured me today.) They have serious health service here for $1. We were told to go the the hospital sometime between 8 AM and 4 PM. There are huge crowds at these hospitals so I opted to go as late as possible. 2 PM seemed about the right time.
The first problem was that the reception nurse was as cheerful as a prison warden. She didn't like my attitude at all. I tried to be friendly – but no soap. Finally I was told to go in to see the doctor. It was love at first sight. The moment I looked at his face I said, “I like this man”. He was very young – about 26 or 27 – but somehow I felt he was a responsible, qualified, doctor. Instantly, we were on the same page. He asked all the right questions and my responses were all helpful to him. He looked at the X-rays and then began to examine my arm. He pulled my wrist and twisted it. “Does that hurt?” “Not really.” He bent my fingers and asked, “Does that hurt?” “No problem.” He bent my elbow and asked, “How about that?” “Fine”. Then he began to raise my arm. The fireworks started. After examining me for 10-15 minutes he declared, “The problem is that the tendons in your shoulder are inflamed.” When he said that I shouted, “You are right! You are right! You are slam on. That is exactly what it is.” I was so excited you could hear me clear down the hall. Oh that felt good to hear his correct analysis. It made perfect sense. That was exactly what it felt like.
Then he said, “There are three ways of treating this. The best and the fastest is for a shot of cortisone and steroids in the joint”. I said, “We can forget that.” “The second option is, that we can treat it with medication. There is medication that will help. And the third is, if we do nothing, in time, it will clear up by itself.” This is what I have been expecting from the beginning. This is why I don't like doctors or pills. I believe Jesus has so made us that the body will heal itself. This is why I never do anything for cuts, injuries or colds. The body always heals itself. But he went on, “If you wait too long your body will seize up”. I knew this was true. I have learned if I do nothing my entire body gets terrible stiff. After quite a bit of pressure I reluctantly agreed to take the shot. I expected to see some long rusty needle that looked more like a 16 penny nail. I had heard horror stories about shots in joints. But I knew women who regularly take worse shots than that, and Jesus took the nails in His hands and feet. I was braced for the worst. Instead of shooting me in the front he walked behind. Then he said, “This might hurt a little.” What a ridiculous overstatement! Mosquitoes bites hurt worse than that. I could hardly feel a thing. Then after 30 seconds he said, “Okay that is all.” When he walked around to sit in front of me, I asked, “When are you going to give me the shot?” He replied, “That is it. We are all finished.” I couldn't believe it.
Then he said, “Okay, now raise your arm.” I don't know what that shot was unless it was morphine, but I could raise my arm far higher than I have been able to do for several weeks. Then he raised my arm again. It was like a miracle healing. Benny Hinn has never seen anything like that. When we walked out of the hospital I was amazed that my legs were 200% stronger. I could walk almost normal, where as I had shuffled in there an hour previously like a man walking on his way to the gallows.
I was blown away with the amazing result that had come out of that visit, but on the way home I believe the Lord showed us something more. I had asked the doctor, “If this is just my arm, how do you explain the fact that my whole body is stiff?” Pammy came up with the answer. She said, “The Bible says, when one member of the body suffers, the entire body suffers with it.” (1 Cor. 12:26). I would not have believed the truth of that statement had it not been for my experience when I cut my fingers off. The pain from tearing off and tearing up all five fingers, for the first few days, was terrific. But after a couple weeks I began to think, “I have got to get some exercise”. I was staying on the 8th floor of the hospital and one night I walked to the bottom. Then I had the shock of my life. I thought, “There is nothing wrong with my legs. All I have done is cut my hand”. But it was like I had cut off my legs also. I was stunned at the way they protested walking up those stairs. I walked up the first flight of steps and sat down exhausted. It took me two hours to get back to the 8th floor again. I didn't realize it, but the strength of my entire body was totally focused in healing my hand. It wasn't just my hand but my whole body was paying the price. I can easily understand why my entire body shut down because of the problem in my shoulder. I was amazed how strong my legs were after I got that shot on my shoulder. ]”
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Since then I have been amazed how my entire body is totally different. I am still not 100%. My body is still a little stiff and I walk like an old man. Preciously getting up from a chair was a major undertaking. It was impossible for my legs to do it alone. I required every muscle in my body and max pushing with both arms to get in the air. Now I can sit down and stand normally. One night it was so bad that I couldn't walk up steps without Pammy lifting one leg at each step. Last night I walked up the stairs 15 times normally just for the exercise.
There was only one sour note in my time with the doctor. He said, “You must admit that you are getting older.” At that I fired back, “No, that is not true. I still have the body of a 40 year old man. My blood pressure is that of a 20 year old and I can do almost anything I could do when I was 38.” I have challenged any 20 year old to keep up with me on Bible runs to Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, or China. A few years ago I had a young couple with me for a Bible run to Laos. We had to cancel the last part of our trip as I wore them out. They collapsed in Pakse. I have taken some terrible spills on motor bikes that would have shattered the bones of most 50 year old. I just got up and went on. I took a tremendous spill right in front of our house four months ago where I got slammed to the ground as hard as it gets. It is hard to imagine anyone taking that with out breaking something. I was greatly humbled but stood up, started the bike engine and went on. My bones are like iron. But the doctor devastated me. He said, “Look at the X-ray of these bones. Just like the white hair on your head they are showing signs of deterioration. You are getting older.” I lost that argument. I may get some of my youth back but it looks like I am going to have to admit I am not 38 anymore.
After church this morning I came home and flopped down in my bed. Oh, it was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt in my life. Every muscle, every nerve, every molecule on my body totally relaxed. I had been sitting in a plastic chair in a meeting where I didn't understand one word that was being said for an hour and a half. That is not a real intellectual engaging experience. I had no idea what anyone is saying. After while I got tired and began to look at my watch. How much more of this do I have to take? But now the services is over. I am free to go home. When my body hit that bed, I thought, “At last, I don't have to hold myself upright any more. I can get horizontal. I don't have to put up with the tension of trying to be attentive to something I don't understand. Oh, it felt so great to relax,
But it went much deeper than that. My body was totally comfortable. I wasn't hungry. I wasn't thirsty. I had zero pain in any part of my body. Oh, what a blessing that is! I have been in places where I knew real hunger. I have been in places where I knew real thirst; where I just craved something to drink. I have been in places where it was freezing cold and I was riding my motor bike in the rain; and still had an hour yet to go to get home. Every meter is spent wishing I wasn't there. Oh, to be home, to get warm and dry. But now I was there. I was warm and dry. Oh, that felt good. I have been in the spot where searing pain was screaming in my body. It was just like having your hand strapped to a hot frying pan and you can't get it off. There was no relief. It was 24/7. Sleep was impossible. Nights were spent walking the halls of the hospital. Oh, when will this pain quit? But now there was no pain. Oh, that felt good!
This past week has been as good as it gets. Jesus' Father has stopped by to fellowship with me every morning. One morning Pammy came to see me while I was having devotions. Copious tears were pouring down my face. Pammy understood. She just said, “Oh, you are having devotions.” How can you not weep? I was reading the Psalms. They were so real. Jesus' Father was there with me and I was talking to Him. He was listening to me, and hopefully would answer my prayers. But I was confused about many of the psalms. A good 50% of them are about the enemy. The psalmist was pleading with God to protect him or revenge him of his enemies. I asked, “Who are these? This doesn't apply to me. I don't have any enemies.” I am on perfect security. There is not a soul on this planet trying to get me. I have zero debt. I don't owe a soul a thing. I have no need. There is not a thing I need. I don't have a conflict with anyone. How can it get any better than this? I'm in Christ and Christ is in me. I have no idea what that means, but I know it is a fact. Oh what more can you ask? Oh the joy, the peace is tremendous!
I hope you have the same.
Love, bill
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