12 April 2015
Dear Phyllis,
If you had been with us this morning you certainly would be scratching your head.
I have known Pastor Kichkun for at least ten yeaers. I like him very much. He was the one responsible for the confirmartion on why I married Pammy. After our marriage I was determined to be faithful in supporting him. At first we were working together and I was on a regular schedule of preaching at least one message a month. I have no idea why, but for some reason, last year, I got deleted and benched for five months. About six months ago he and Pammy got into a disagreement and he attacked her badly on Facebook for one week. It was so bad that I told her that I did not recommend her going there any more. But even though she was out I continued going every week. I got back on the preaching schedule in December and January. In February I was scheduled to speak and thought the Lord had laid a message on my heart. When I got to church I was surprised to see a bus load of women from Australia. A couple of them gave brief testimonies and that was the end of the service. Maybe I just got my nose bent but I felt my time of service with Kichikun was over.
Pammy had led a number of people to the Lord which resulted in her having her own service in our house. I didn't want Kichikun to say I left him to join her, so I went to two different churches for the next two months. But three weeks ago I felt the time had come to work together with Pammy. She was thrilled. Of those that Pammy had prayed with for salvation there were a few who had fallen away. This is to be expected. But her best convert was also a concern. Nok was easily the most zealous and faithful beleiver Pammy had. She had a 12 year old daughter that was equally excited about Jesus and both of them were a great joy. Nok's husband had dumped her six months ago and Pammy shared with me that Nok was having problems with craving for another man. That is not good. Then I noticed her daughter, Pin, stopped coming to church. The grandmother had a program to turn Pin from Christ and Nok was passively allowing that to happen. I warned Pammy if we don't fight for Pin we will lose Nok also. Today was the first day that Nok didn't show up.
My father died of a heart attack when I was 17. He had always put up Christmas lights on the bushes in front of our house. The first Christmas after he was gone, on Christmas Eve, my mother was outside tearfully putting up the lights trying to take his place. I was working in my shop trying to forget what day it was, and the sight of my tearful mother putting up those lights only painfully emphasized the emptiness that our family had died.
The service we had today wasn't sad, it was just plain tragic. It vividly reminded me of that horrible Christmas Eve when I was 17. There is a fine Lahu minority boy that regulaly comes to our house and frequently stays with us. Koshin is about 29 and has a good heart, but he got short changed with less than a full deck. Or in others words, he's not too bright. Last night at 11:00 Koshin came with his 7 year old nephew. The morning worship service was supposed to start at 10:30 but at 10:30 Pammy was in the shower. Koshin and his nephew,Tee, and I were sitting there when Pammy joined us at 10:45. Bless her heart, Pammy is determined to keep up the form of a formal religious worship service. She is reasonably good on her guitar. I would give her a strong C+ or B-, but today it was more like a D. Basically she was singing by herself although Koshin and I were supposed to be singing with her. The song service was substantially less than good. She had Koshin stand and read the 150th Psalm. And then she asked me to lead the “congregation” in reciting the Lord's Prayer from Mathew 6:9-13. She wanted me to say it in English and she would put it into Thai for the “congregation” to recite together.
I detest formally reciting the Lord's Prayer. Whatever it is, there is no way that could honestly be called payer. Authentic prayer comes from the heart. That recitation come from the mind, or more literally from the mouth. Reciting that thing rote is exactly what Jesus told us not to do. When He first taught it He said, “Don't pray like the heathen” (Mt. 6:7) and that is exactly what we do. This is nothing more than a Protestant “Hail Mary” or a Buddhist chant. All three are identical. Pammy asked me to pray like Jesus taught us. I would be glad to do that but it would take ten or fifteen minutes. I stood and poured out my heart asking the Lord to give us reality and then said “Our Father”. Pammy broke in by repeating that in Thai. I sat down. I said, “I thought you wanted me to pray as Jesus told us to, but if you want to say a chant you can do that by yourself. Whatever that chant is there is no way it can be called prayer”. Pammy and Koshin said their chant together. Finally it was time for the sermon. I knew that I had a congregation of one 7 year old boy and told about David and Goliath. At least he had never heard that before. I did my best to hold his interest for 20 minutes. After the sermon Pammy wanted to have special prayer for Koshin. No problem. Then she asked me to pronounce some sort of a Benediction. I pleaded with the Lord that we were totally unworthy of any of His blessing, but, not for our sake – but for the sake of His dear Son, and for the sake of His worthy Name, and for the sake of the Body of Christ – that somehow He might be gracious and bestow some blessing on us. I meant it.
Oh my goodness it was bad. This dry, empty, religion that is void of the presence and reality of Christ; I don't like it. But what do you do? Pammy has had some real fine services. I have seen a lot of the Lord in some when I got home from attending church some other place. The Sunday that the brethren from her denomination were here, Pammy said there so many tears people were patting each other on the shoulder. She said the brother had a powerful message. How can you talk about the wounds of Jesus without breaking down in tears? But what do you do when the only one there is a brother who is short a full deck and a 7 year old boy? Pammy prayed with Tee again to accept Jesus. I don't know. Twenty years later we might look back and say that was the day the Lord met with us. I admire Pammy for her gambaru (hang in there) spirit, but today was a day that I would like to forget. Jesus is coming with His reward in His hand. Lord keep us faithful.
bill
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