5 April 2015
Dear Phyllis,
I have said for several years that my mother was the greatest miracle I had ever seen. My mother was very active in the church. But we were good liberals. We knew the Bible wasn't true and all religions were the same. I never heard of salvation until I was 21 in Florida. When I got saved my sister thought I had joined a cult and my mother was heart-broken because I said good people were going to hell. When she was 68 she was the worse mess I had ever seen. I couldn't imagine her living another six months, but, somehow, she edged her way back from the brink. Then when she was 70 she had an encounter with Jesus like something I have never seen in any other person. When she was 75 she was traveling around America doing evangelism with a country western singer, Patsy Prescott. In her BC (before Christ) days she lived chemically. Her pill box looked like a pharmacy. After she met Jesus she had perfect health and never took a pill. When she was 86 she was losing her hearing, so my sister bought her a hearing aid. She didn't like it and asked Jesus to give her back her hearing. He did. The grandchildren were concerned how Jesus was ever going to get such a health person to heaven. She couldn't get sick. But then when she was 88 the Lord pulled the plug and within a few days she was transported to that City towards which she had run so earnestly.
Her funeral was one of the highlights of my life. I sat there in that church and couldn't believe my eyes. My mind went back 30 years before, when I was first saved and the impossible mess of my family. For years my mother went from being liberal to try to follow me but showed no signs of salvation. My sister was up to her ears in the occult and taking her children in the occult with her. We thought, “What chance do they have?” Now everyone was totally sold out to Christ and my mother had gone past me in her pursuit of Christ. In my wildest dreams I couldn't imagine a scenario like the one I was looking at that day. It was a total 100% triumph for Jesus.
Now my wife is giving my mother a good run to come in a close second as a miracle. You might think it minor but I think its major. Ever since we have been married, motor bikes have been a huge problem. Both her father and brother were killed on motor bikes and she had been hit by a truck. She was totally neurotic. When we would go somewhere I always wanted to drive, but she would sit on the back screaming “look out!!!” every 100 meters. In marginal situations she would go bezerk, grab me, and nearly caused accidents. It was awful. Recently I have had her drive as it is easier for me to trust the Lord than it is for her to trust me. But the other day she asked me to drive. I couldn't believe it. We rode all the way into town and back, over 30 km, and she sat serenely on the back and never said one word. That was a miracle that almost challenges my mother.
In nearly every letter I have murmured about my shelf status. I sit here every day for 12 hours with absolutely nothing to do but look at internet and write. The other day I had a most unusual incident (miracle). I had just written one of the finest devotionals I have ever composed. I was thrilled with what came out and I saw on my computer. I can't write things like that. I was going over it separating words run together and spell check when something went hay wire with my computer. Words were separated by half line breaks but I could not clean it up. I tried every trick I knew to balance out the space but it just kept getting worse and worse. Finally in desperation I just kept my finger on backspace key until I had erased the first half of the article. Then I tried to rewrite it. Everything seemed to be working until I got to that same place in the middle of the screen, and it went bonkers again. Just like before. After an hour of intense frustration I had had the course. In total disgust I trashed the entire article and erased everything.
It was so unusual the only thing I could think of was that it was just the devil trying to destroy what I had written. That is what he is supposed to do. But if the devil gives me fits like that I wondered where are the angels to help me. The devil won that one 5 to zero. I thought if this is the way it works I might as well quit, and looked at You Tube for the rest of the day.
The material I had written was so good I decided to give it another shot and rewrite the devotional article. I was stunned when I turned on my computer to see that it was still there intact, just like before I started messing with it. I finalized the spacing and spell check, and thought I would just leave the line that had a huge gap in it. But then I thought, “Why not give it a try?” I hit the backspace key and the line started to move. In a minute the article was perfect. Computer geeks might think that is usual, but I see no other explanation than the Lord did a miracle and redid what the devil had destroyed.
I am mattaku komaru (absolutely stuck, big problem). Every preacher likes his own preaching best. I am no exception. The Lord has closed the preaching door for me and I have very little outlet. But He has poured into my heart reams of material that I long to get out. Daily I sit on my balcony writing a commentary on the Song of Solomon. I am amazed everyday when I see what comes out on the computer. It is like someone else is writing it. I'm not that smart. But then it goes in the dead-end file. There is no one interested in reading this material. I am embarrassed when I think of my arrogance in thinking that my material is so wonderful. I detest that when I see it in others. But then I told the Lord, “I don't care who writes this stuff. I don't want to stand in the spot light. But the material Oh hang it! I don't know how to say anything or what to say.
Forget it. Gomen nasai (I'm sorry). It's just that I am highly frustrated. My heart is burning, I am exploding, and the only thing I can do with the material I write is send it to the dead file. I was writing for Facebook but that got closed down. Now I have the dead file.
Today is resurrection Sunday. Thank God Jesus came back from the dead. And because He came back, someday He will bring all of us out of these tattered tabernacles to put on a glorious body like Himself. Everyday I am blown away with who He is and what He has done for us. Everyday the mystery gets stronger. I am lost for words all together.
Jesus, Jesus, Lord Jesus, have Your way in us. Father please glorify Your Son in and through us. Do anything You want as long as Jesus is advanced. Lord please do it. Amen.
bill
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