27 October 2019
Dear Phyllis,
You may be curious as to what is
happening about Pakistan. That is a long story.
The last night of Jesus' life, He said
to the disciples, “When I sent you out empty handed did you lack anything?”
“No” “But now I tell you sell your garment and buy a sword” “Lord, we have two”
“Good; that is enough.” (Lk. 22:35-38). (Bill Cook translation - “Fellows, from
now on this is war. Get ready to fight”) Two hours later a band of soldiers
showed up to take Jesus. Peter had one of the swords and dove into the crowd
swinging. The passion of his life was to go down fighting for His Lord. You
know the story. I can understand Peter's humiliation when Jesus told him to put
up his sword, and reached down to pick up Malchus' ear to fix the mess that
Peter made (Jn. 18:10) . This story exemplifies one of the mysteries of the
Gospel.
I make no apology for my letter last
week. That was as reasonable and rational as any letter I have written. Ever
since I have been saved I have had a great desire to be an effective witness
for Jesus. I am not a bad preacher. I have had some success in the pulpit but
today there is not one church in the world that has asked me to come give a
testimony. I sit here in silence. I have said, “If I can't serve Jesus with my
Bible, the least I can do is to make a few things for His servants in my shop.
But today there is resistance to that and I am thinking about giving away all
my tools. I am as bankrupted as a man can get. If I can't serve Jesus with my
Bible, and I can't serve Him with my shop, I am down now to where there is only
one thing I have to offer Him – my blood.
The Lord has brought me to perhaps the
most advantageous position of my life. I have had a great desire to get back to
Chitral to share Christ with those wonderful men I met 12 years ago, but that
is as dangerous a place as any on earth. Praise God, He has made me uniquely
qualified to go. Ever since the doctor told me that I had a malignant tumor
in my eye I have had as much peace and joy as at any time in my life. If
you are in a far country with a great desire to get home, there is nothing sad
about getting a boarding pass to get on a plane. Today I am in a huge win-win
situation. It would be great to see a little humor in the grim business of
Islamic terrorists. I would love to see the face of some Taliban leader if they
captured me demanding $1,000,000 ransom, and the US State Dept. responded, “He
is too old and has cancer. We don't want him; you can keep him.”. Man howdy,
that would be fun! I am not tough. I don't like needles. They say eye cancer is
not a good way to die. They say it is
very uncomfortable. At the moment I am
in very good health and have no pain. I would like to get out of here before it
gets uncomfortable. If I met an Islamic assassin I would greet him as a
welcomed friend. Who is more qualified to go to Chitral than me?
There is only one guiding star in the
sky for any Christian – the will of God. Since my conversion this is the
only question I have considered for any decision I have had to make. But
guidance isn't that easy. There are several methods we use. One is to sit tight
until something moves, and another is to select one option and pursue it,
pleading with Jesus to “please stop me if I am going the wrong way”. What I was
confronted with two weeks ago looked very much like the Lord was leading me
towards Pakistan. I made the decision to move in that direction. Ever since
Pastor Hanook pleaded with me to come work with him I have promised him that as
soon as the Lord gave me the money and a green light I would come immediately.
Four years ago some friends that I hadn't seen in 50 years sent me $1,000. I
thought, “Well, here it is. Let's go.” But as I prayed about working with him,
I felt very strongly that the Islamics would kill him before they would kill
me, and I backed off. Two weeks ago the Lord gave me another $1,000 and it
looked like a re-run. This time I decided not to endanger Pastor Hanook, but go
by myself to the Northwest territory. That is where I was last week.
Monday I went to a travel agent to see
about buying a ticket. What a joke! When I walked in there the travel agent
asked, “Where would you like to go?”. I said, “Pakistan”. She asked again,
“Where would you like to go?”. “Pakistan” “Would you please write that.”. I
wrote P A K I S T A N. I asked, “What do you have for Pakistan Airline?”. The
travel agent said she had never heard of Pakistan Airline. “I would like to go
to Islamabad”. She said, “I have never heard of Islamabad”. I didn't buy a
ticket.
I had written Pastor Hanook to confirm
that I could get a visa on arrival. He called the Pakistan embassy in Bangkok
and was told that I would have to have a copy of my marriage license, Thai visa
documents, and take my wife with me. I don't have money to buy two tickets and
I am not going to take my wife to Pakistan. That put that one out of reach.
Most of all, I believe very strongly in
the seriousness of the wedding vow. I believe a mans first responsibility is
to his wife. Last week I wrote that if there was anyone who would care to
support me, and they would send it to Pammy, that would be a very good
investment of their money. I am not involved in her ministry. We have always
been badly under-supported, and the usual funds we receive from Japan didn't
come this month. At mid-month Pammy said we were flat broke and couldn't pay
for basic expenses. When the Lord gave me that $1000 two weeks ago I felt that
money was for Pakistan, but now a good portion must be spent on daily living.
Obviously Chitral must be put on hold again.
I knew a Japanese lady who, after the 2nd
WW, felt she hadn't prayed enough and was personally responsible for Japan
loosing the war. To atone for her sin, all she could do was commit suicide. She
went to Tokyo and swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills on the Imperial grounds.
In her sleep she vomited the pills and woke up several hours later, depressed
saying, “I am so bad even the gods don't want me.” She later got saved and was
a wonderful Bible woman with Mino Mission.
At the moment I feel a little like that
dear sister when she said “even the gods don't want me”. It would be a great
honor if I could give a little blood for Jesus, but it looks like He doesn't
even want that. I have no idea what to do. I have no expectation of any opening
for a preaching ministry. My future in the shop does not look particularly
bright. And, to be realistic, it is highly unlikely that I will ever have the
privilege of shedding my blood for Jesus. That doesn't leave much left.
Hopefully it is not too far from here to the River. But my one great
consolation is the Inverted Kingdom.
As I have said many times, in God's
Kingdom the way up is to go down. The way to save your life is to lose it. Seek
your life you will lose it. The way to get is by giving. The way to victory is
by surrender. The Lamb is the Lion. The wisdom of men is foolishness to God.
(Man howdy that is true. The dumbest people on this earth are at Harvard) God
has chosen the foolishness of preaching to be the power of God unto salvation.
And weakness is strength. If that is true I may be in a blessed position. This
isn't what I would have chosen, but this is the life that Jesus has given me.
If God can use my silence to be a shout for Jesus I am satisfied.
Praise the Lord I am here for one more
Sunday,
bill
No comments:
Post a Comment