Prayer

28 November 2010

 Dear Phyllis,

A few weeks ago I wrote you a letter saying the disciples only asked Jesus to do two things for them – to teach them to pray, and increase their faith. In that letter I discussed a little bit about the Lord’s response to increasing faith. But the subject of prayer is perhaps even more basic.

There are few subjects more mystical than prayer. That I can talk to God? That God would hear me? That I can alter events in my own life, the lives of others, and events in this earth by the things I say to God? That is so staggering it is almost unbelievable.  Again I don’t want to get into what Jesus has taught us as to how to pray, but the story He told immediately after His instruction on prayer is an enormously important one (Lk. 11:5-8).

In His instruction in Mathew 6:9-13, of the seven points of the Lord’s Prayer He only pulled one point out for further emphasis. He said if we didn’t forgive others, God would not hear and forgive us (Mt. 6:15). This is terribly solemn.

Thirteen years ago Roald Lidal asked me if I would be interested in going to China to work on Bible logistics. I was thrilled! That was the greatest opportunity of my life.  I was within days of getting on the plane when the man I was to work with in Hong Kong red-lined me. On the basis of a pure misunderstanding he branded me as a womanizer, and said, “China is no place for a man like Cook”. That was the hardest blow I had ever taken from a man in my life. For six months I felt just like I had gone through the new-birth in reverse. Something inside me died.  A year later Brent was coming to Japan for the dedication of a new printing press at NLL. When Brent came to Hatoyama I left for Karuizawa.

For three days I stayed in the NLL cabin in Karuizawa. But the Lord met with me in a most painful way. I read the story of what Jesus told immediately after His instruction on prayer in Luke 11:5-8. A friend showed up at a fellow’s house one night, at a most inconvenient time, and the poor guy had to go to the bread store at midnight to get three loves of bread. That was a dead ringer for exactly where I was. Brent was a man on his journey and he showed up at my door step at a terrible time. I knew I had a responsibility to him, but I had nothing in my house to give him. The Lord told me very clearly that I owed him three loaves of bread.

With the terrible bitterness I had in my heart – that was killing me like cancer – I didn’t need special revelation by the Holy Spirit to tell me that I needed to forgive him. If what Jesus said in Math. 6:15 was true, I was in bad shape. Regardless to what others do to us, a bitter, unforgiving, spirit is something that we simply cannot harbor in our hearts. Brent was wrong, but I knew I had to forgive him. That was the first loaf of bread I owed him. Forgiveness is something we owe to every person we meet on this planet that may offend us.

I had gone through this seven years previously with Rosemary. When she chose to give her body to another man, and then left me under the most excruciating circumstances, I was a wee bit of an unhappy camper. For sometime I wrestled with the issue of whether or not I needed to forgive her. Does God forgive unrepentant sin? I still don’t know the answer to that question, but I don’t think He does. Rosemary was clearly unrepentant of adultery. If God didn’t forgive her, should I? What happens when someone seriously sins against you, and never apologizes? Do we need to forgive them? After months of agony, I came to the conclusion that the answer was yes – not for their sake but for our.  I knew I had to forgive Rosemary or it would kill me. Jesus didn’t qualify the nature of the offence in Math. 6:15. He simply said if we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us our sins against Him.

At the worst time of my life, Dave Hanson flippantly said to me, “Why don’t you forgive your wife?” My response was a replica of Hiroshima. I roared, “I HAVE FORGIVEN HER! I HAVE FORGIVEN HER UNTIL I AM EXHAUSTED!!! DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE LETTERS I HAVE WRITTEN?” Dave quietly replied, “I am not interested in seeing the things you have written or said with your mouth. I can tell by your spirit that you haven’t forgiven her.” Three points. That was a shot right between the eyes. For the first time I knew he was right.

I knew the story Jesus told Peter concerning forgiveness in Mt. 18:23-35. A man owed his master a fortune, but his master freely forgave him. Then he went outside and met another guy who owed him 15 cents. He grabbed the poor turkey by the throat and throttled him. He refused to be merciful and forgive him. As a result, the unmerciful servant got called back on the carpet, and turned over to the tormentor.

I saw in that parable that there are two types of salvation. The first is to be forgiven personal sins. But the second type of salvation is to be saved from an unforgiving spirit. I knew I was as dependent on the Lord to save me from an unforgiving spirit as I was for forgiving me of my sins in the first start. I told the Lord that it was totally an act of grace on His part when He saved me from my sin many years ago, and I was as helpless to save myself from an unforgiving spirit as I was to get saved initially. If Jesus didn’t save me, there was no way I could be saved. I told the Lord if He had a sign up sheet in heaven for candidates for salvation, to please put my name near the top. I honestly don’t know how, when, or where, but I do know that somewhere along the line Jesus did – and has – saved me from an unforgiving spirit. Now I was back at square one with Brent just as I had been with Rosemary. I knew I owed Brent forgiveness.

The second loaf of bread was equally obvious. It doesn’t take a deep theologian to know that the second great commandment is to love our neighbor (Mk. 12:31). I knew I had to love Brent. No way! Oh, that seemed repulsive to think of actually loving him. I had about as fat a chance of loving him as I did to forgive him.

A friend of mine was going to a liberal church before he was saved. He heard a message on how we should love our neighbor. Tom was working in an accounting office and hated the guy at the desk next to his. After that message on loving his neighbor, Tom purposed in his heart that he would do that. And he did. The next morning he went to work and loved the guy – for 15 minutes. After that the rage in his heart was so intense he had to go to the water cooler to cool off. So much for loving the unlovely.

But I also knew that the Holy Spirit is able to shed abroad the love of Christ in our hearts (Rom. 5:5). I had experienced this several times previously where the Lord gave me genuine love for people that at first I really didn’t like. The whole point of the parable of the man at night was that someone showed up with needs that he simply could not meet. He had to go to the bread shop to get three loves of bread. I knew the second loaf of bread that I owed Brent was to love him, and that was something I flat did not have in my house.

The third loaf of bread is something that we seldom think about, but I feel is quite important. That is to trust them, or believe God for them. Paul said to the Thessalonicans, “I have confidence in the Lord touching you…that ye will do…” (2 Thes. 3:4). This is a tough one, but this is the greatest thing we can do for others – believe in them. Not that we trust them; but we trust the Lord to work in them.

In 1959 Dave Wilkerson was in New York having a dendo (evangelistic) meeting for the street gangs. They were the most dangerous animals in the city. Astonishingly, he decided to take up an offering, and asked the leaders of the two warring gangs to be the ushers to take up the offering. It doesn’t get any stupider than that. They everlastingly took up a big offering – at knife point. After they gathered the loot they went back stage, and one gang leader said to the other, “Ok, let’s get out of here.” Shockingly, the Mau Mau gang leader replied, “This the first time in my life that anyone ever trusted me. I am not going to let him down.” And Nicky Cruz was saved that night. It wasn’t the Gospel message that Dave Wilkerson preached, but the fact that he trusted him was what saved Nicky Cruz.

A friend of mine had a 14 year old son that was as bad as he could get. He was into drugs, sleeping with a 14 year old girl, and every vise he could get into. I was amazed at Dick’s tolerant attitude. I thought he was dead wrong. I would have killed the kid. Amazingly, Tim and his wife (his girl friend) turned out to be the best Christians of all the children. When Tim got saved he said, “Dad, the thing that helped me the most was when you expressed confidence in me when you had no reason, whatsoever, to do so.”

When I first got into my hell hole with Rosemary, I nearly lost my mind. My behavior was so bad my friends would have been justified to have me committed to a mental hospital. I was working on a big construction job in Karuizawa. The job foreman called the office and said, “Cook san is sick. Send up another carpenter.” My friend, Robbie, was furious. He replied, “There is nothing wrong with Bill at all. We don’t need another carpenter.” That was the greatest help I had at that time. Robbie’s confidence in me strengthened me more than anything else.

This is a strange story that Jesus told right after his instruction on prayer. There certainly are people who show up in our lives at terribly inconvenient times, with serious needs that we simply do not have the stuff in our house to meet. Thank God there is a Bread Man who is the Bread of Life to whom we can go to get three loaves of bread.

                                                                                              bill

PS: God has given me real love for Brent. I thank God for him.