Feasts of the Tabernacle

30 Apr, 2001

Dear Phyllis,

You are a treasure! It is Monday morning and a Japanese holiday. NLL is shut down today but I have so much work that I must put in a full day. Yesterday I didn’t get to writing my usual Sunday letter so today before I pick up my hammer I first want to hammer on this laptop to get a letter off to you. I know it is pointless as you will be in Texas when this letter arrives and it will be a month before you can read it, but I do want to send my weekly greetings just to have them on file.

As I was praying for you this morning I was blessed thinking of how much the Lord has done for Ted and where you are today. I know it is lonely – but that is part of life. In recent years I have boarded quite a few airplanes and seen a few people off at the airport. Check-in is always very nigiyaka (busy, active). Everybody is milling around and all the well- wishers are standing there. But when you go through passport control there is a sign that says “Passengers Only”. From there on you have to proceed alone. That is where you are. Ted was there a few months ago, but look where he is today! Praise God it won’t be long before we hear the boarding announcement and shortly we will be at the other side and see him again.

Yesterday I had an unusual day preaching. That verb is almost a perversion because it connotes speaking to a crowd of people. My congregation was two elderly women and two drowsy men. I was amazed that anyone could sleep through that thunderstorm as the Word so filled me I felt like I was exploding. I was shouting, beating on the pulpit, jumping up and down, and called on everyone in the room by name at least once every three or four minutes. But even so, with my best effort I was just able to keep my audience from passing out and falling out of their chair. I have been going through John talking about the signs and miracles John has selected to show to us who Jesus is. Chapter 7 and 8 are not miracles but I decided to talk about the Feast of the Tabernacles in chapter 7 anyway. I have been saved 44 years and am utterly amazed at what I never saw before. Ex. 23:14-17 tells us that there were three major feast a year where all Jewish males were to appear before the Lord, and Lev. 23 gives us the details of these feast. These feasts are called by different names in various places, which is a little confusing, but we can clearly identify what they are.

The first one is the Passover – which the Lord said would be the beginning of the Jewish year. That was the start of everything and that was in the First month the fifteenth day. We know that this is what we pervertedly now call Easter. Our Lord Jesus was the true Lamb of God that was offered on the Passover Day in fulfillment of this OT matsuri (feast). The second one is not so clear but Ex. 23:15 calls it the Feast of the Harvest – the first fruits. It came exactly 50 days after the Passover. We know from Acts what this is – this is Pentecost. It is when the Holy Spirit came. That starts the harvest and the first 3,000 (Acts 2) were the first fruits of the coming harvest. The third feast was what is called in some places (Lev. 23:34 and John 7:2) the Feast of the Tabernacles. The Jews were supposed to make booths of palm branches and live in these booths for a week. This came in the Seventh month, the fifteenth day. There is no question about the 7^th month. Seven is the kanzen (complete) number. It is when the harvest is complete. Obviously we have a clear Trinitarian message here. There is no question that the Passover is the Lamb of God – our Lord Jesus; the Day of Pentecost is the Holy Spirit; and the Feast of the Tabernacles is for God the Father, when it will be fulfilled at the end of the harvest, and Rev. 21:3 says “Behold the Tabernacle of God is with men.” What a statement!

It was at this feast that our Lord entered His temple and ran into stiff resistance from the Jews. The discussion in chapter 7 and 8 of John is as combative as any in the gospels. The Jews were trying to kill Him; they sent out officers to arrest Him; He was accused of being demonized and born of fornication. It was in this atmosphere that Jesus went up to the temple to keep the Feast of the Tabernacles. He was in the world and the world was made by Him, but the world knew Him not. He came to His own but His own received Him not.  … But to as many as received Him… Man howdy, that includes us! Twice during that feast in His frustration Jesus cried with a loud voice (He shouted) “You know who I am!” (vrs. 28); and then on the last day He cried, “If any man thirst, let him come to Me and drink.” (vrs. 37). Chapter 7 ends with the most ironic statement, “And every man went to his own house.” (vrs. 53). The Lord came to His own house on the Feast of the Tabernacles, and what a reception!

The greatest irony is what happened after that. For 2,000 years the Lord has come by His Spirit to dwell in His own house, the Church. To see what a reception He has experienced we have only to read the story of the Seven Churches in Rev. 2 & 3. It starts off with the love of the believers cooling off in Ephesus, the infiltration of idolatry and immorality in Pergamos, and winds up with Jesus standing outside knocking on the door in Laodicea. But in the midst of this melancholic scene we hear the most gracious invitation, “If any man hear My Voice and will open the door, I will come in to him and sup (fellowship) with him… and (finally) he with Me.” (vrs. 20). Oh, my goodness, Phyllis, can you imagine that! Jesus is willing to live in us and fellowship with us. And He has promised someday we can eat with Him. Perhaps you can understand why I nearly flew out of the pulpit yesterday morning. But I am bewildered why my listeners nearly fell out of their chairs asleep.  

Gomen nasai. I hope this doesn’t bore you too. I trust you had a super time in Texas and I am anxious to hear all about. But I want to hear that from your own mouth as we sit and talk with Ted.

I will be heading back to SEA to take a team into Laos in a couple of weeks but I will try to keep up my weekly correspondence as long as I can. Thank you for listening to me and for being my friend.

                                                        Bonded with our Elder Brother, our Lord Jesus, bill

Grieving

22 Apr, 2001

Dear Phyllis,

Your most welcomed letter came just two hours after I posted last weeks letter to you. I was so excited when I read it that I nearly sat down to write you an immediate reply, but I have waited until my usual Sunday date with you. There were many things you mentioned in your letter but the one that struck me the most is that you said the Lord had spoken to you about two things. First He said not to grieve over Ted any longer, and secondly not to feel lonely in your house any longer. That sounds very much like the Lord to me. The amazing thing about the Lord’s Voice when He speaks to us, is that it carries unusual power to perform His commands. I could feel the power here just to have you share with me what He said.

I remember one very sad night. Rosemary was in the throes of leaving me and we had just been in a very turbulent “Elders meeting” at TEAM Center in Tokyo. It had been a shout-down between Rosemary and the brethren all afternoon, but towards evening she backed off and “repented” saying that she would stick with the marriage. I laid in bed sobbing. Rosemary asked, “Why are you crying?”, and I replied, “Because tonight is the night I have lost you.” Rosemary herself, didn’t understand it, but I knew it was over and – tragically – subsequent events proved I was correct. It was like someone had died, but then the Lord rebuked me for my tears and told me to quit. That was it and shortly I was asleep.  

 I am glad the Lord told you to stop grieving. I wouldn’t have thought of that, but I agree that it is wrong to grieve anymore. The Lord is very patient and understanding with us. He knows our hearts and allows us to be very human, but then when enough is enough He steps in and tells us it is time to dry our tears. Of course there is sorrow. Of course there is loneliness, but there is the other side of the rainbow. It takes both the rain and the sun to produce a rainbow and there is a bright side even in the worst of our sorrows. Remember there is a rainbow around the Throne (Rev. 4:3). It is wonderful how God takes our sorrows and turns them into something beautiful. Even Rachel’s son was called Benoni (son of my sorrows) when he was born, but his father called him Benjamin (son of my right hand) [Gen. 35:18]. Someday we will look back at our sorrows and see the rainbow as the grace of God shines upon our tears. I am not old enough, nor experienced enough, to comment on the presence of the Lord filling your house. If indeed the Lord does this for you, I am sure there is no piece of furniture that is so precious that it is a loss to remove if it can be replaced by Christ’s presence. It is only when we stubbornly hold onto our choice treasures that the Lord has a hard time moving in. Usually, before He can move in something must first be moved out. When the Lord took our little son TJ, I never felt like He had taken him away from us, but only that the Lord had moved TJ to a higher shelf. There was grief, but it was brief, and after that real peace that the Lord had done the right thing.

I have been so busy entertaining guests here that I have hardly had time to do any work. Mark and his family were here two weeks ago, then I had a call from my very good friend in Ikoma, Hirota san, saying he was coming for a visit. He had just barely gotten on the train when another brother, who lives in Hanoi, Vietnam, came for two days. Dave Waters is from New Zealand and has lived in Hanoi for five years. He is one of the key contacts there. When I first went to Vietnam two years ago I was told, “When you get to Hanoi, contact Dave Waters.” Since then I have seen him several times in Hanoi as he is one of the main contacts to receive a lot of the Bibles we have brought into the country. Dave was awestruck when he saw this operation and very taken when he saw so of the things that are printed here. We have two tracts on evolution that caught his attention that he wants for Vietnam. Going through our file we discovered that the first one had already been printed in Vietnamese but was out of print. He made arrangement to have another 50,000 printed that he wants to use there. The second was a large Japanese New Life tract done here that has never been in any other language but Japanese. I had the girl in charge of that tract call the Japanese pastor who had written it, and had Dave speak to him on the phone. He is going to send Dave an English transcript of that tract and Dave will put it into Vietnamese. Then they will redo the layout here to print up several thousand. The design department did a super job on that layout and Dave especially wanted it just as the Japanese copy looked. They have a problem with the Japanese script running up and down and Vietnamese is written horizontal, but the fellows here said they could straighten it out. Dave also asked if we could do a run of 20,000 to 30,000 Vietnamese Bibles of a new translation. If they get all this done we will be very busy trying to get all this stuff to him inside the country. He said he doubted very seriously that I would be able to get in Vietnam for a while after our arrest in Monte in January. He advised me to stay low for a while and then try to get a visa later. He recommend that I concentrate more on Laos and Burma and let Vietnam settle down.

We aren’t seeing anything in Vietnam of the magnitude of what is going on in China, but the Lord is doing a very significant work among the minority people. The minority groups only constitute about 13% of the total population of Vietnam, but there are far more tribe people saved than there are Vietnamese. Among these simple hill tribes there have been so many amazing miracles. I have heard of several cases of the dead being raised and some outstanding healings are not uncommon. While Dave was here, he spoke at our morning devotions one day and told a couple of interesting testimonies.

In one village there was a sorcerer who was famous for his power in healings. But he was unable to heal his own wife. In time she was in contact with some Christians who prayed for her and she got better. Through this she was saved and somehow got a Bible. However, she was unable to read and the only one in the village who could read was her husband. She prevailed upon him to read the Bible to her and, as a result, he got saved. After they started serving the Lord together a young couple were converted and wanted a Christian wedding. No one had ever seen a Christian wedding and they didn’t have the faintest idea what you were supposed to do. But people came from far and near for this Christian. The former sorcerer preached the Gospel to the crowd like a regular dendo kai then turned to the young couple and said, “OK you’re married now!”, and 100 souls came to Christ through that wedding. Maybe we could do with a little less ceremony if it would produce a little more power.

You said you would be going to Texas on the 2^nd of May and back on June 1^st.  I will continue to write even if you are not there. I have to leave here around the 18^th of May to get down to Chiang Mai to take a team into north central Laos. I don’t know how long I will be in SEA this time or what I will do if I can’t get into Vietnam. We might make several trips into Laos and I might see if I can get into that dangerous area to try to contact the American MIA in there. One problem is that it will be rainy season and that area is impassable during that time of year. If they aren’t too far off the road I might be able to get in on horseback but flooding rivers are a serious problem. The monsoon season isn’t really that bad. It is nothing like the Japanese tsuyu. Tsuyu here is just endless days of drippy weather, but there they usually have fairly nice days, except there are usually several showers every day. It rains and then the sun comes out. But the roads are really muddy.

I have a suggestion that might sound intimidating, but please pray about it. Have you ever gotten into computers? I was terrified by them and thought I would never break into the awesome cyber world. The Lord had to use the most extreme measure to drag me into computers, but once I got in, this has changed my life. Having my laptop now is just like living with someone to talk to. I never typed a thing until I got my first word-pro. That got me typing, but then the word-pro quit and I had to break into computers. Now I can only do about 5% of what this thing is capable of, but it is more than adequate to enable me to communicate. E-mail is the mode of the future (present). Most of the letters I write now are sent E-mail and I am increasingly amazed how simple it is. Most of the names are on file and all I have to do is type the first couple letters, and the computer automatically fills in the address. I type out the message and hit “Send” and the thing is on its way. It would really open the world up to you considerably if you could break into E-mail. It is really easier than calling on a phone. It is considerably cheaper than calling and you don’t have to worry about whether or not they are in bed or out. Just jot off a note anytime of day and as soon as the other person sees it they can answer at their leisure. Also the spelling and grammar check is absolutely invaluable. I am so dum that I kant spel nife, but the word check straightens all that out for me. I marvel that I ever had the courage to write anyone a letter before, and they must have scratched their heads hard trying to figure out what I had wirtten. Anyway this thing has changed my life and I believe you would find it a major event in your life if you ever got in.

This will probably be my last letter before you leave for Texas, but I trust you will have a marvelous time down there. Challenge your sisters to all go on line and get into E-mail. You will be surprised what it kan do for yu.

Thank you again for your most welcomed letter and every remembrance you make of me before the Throne. We may not be able to see Him yet but we can speak daily to the same One that Ted is looking at. What a privilege!

 

                                                                      In the grace of the God of all comfort,

                                                                                                 Even our Lord Jesus, bill

Three Souls and Revelation

15 Apr, 2001

Dear Phyllis,

Hallelujah!!! Today is Resurrection Sunday! Today we celebrate Our Lord’s victory over death. Our little fellowship here has been considerably less than a blessing for a long time and usually it is more ganman than a blessing to preach here, but this morning the Lord met with us in a marvelous way. During the week, as I was considering what to preach on, one of my favorite verses came to mind – “and Peter” (Mk. 16:7). That has got to be one of the most powerful two words in the Bible. What a volume of emotion it expresses! I think that is one of the most gracious words in the Scriptures. What a volume of relief that spoke to a man who was locked into a dungeon of despair! But then as I began to think about all that happened that day, my mind ultimately came to the experience of three representative souls that the Lord revealed Himself to the first resurrection Sunday.

Obviously, the first one was Mary. The significant feature, why she was so honored to be the first one the Lord met with, was her passion. Her theology was somewhat lacking and she did some “foolish” things, but her passion for the Lord was marvelously rewarded in being the first one to speak with the Risen Lord. This is – of course – our greatest deficiency. We wonder why we enjoy so little of the Lord’s presence and blessing in our lives, and I believe we don’t have to search much further than our frosty hearts. If we had more of a passion for the Lord, perhaps we would see more of the Lord ourselves.

The second representative was Peter. He was brim full of confidence but didn’t know his own heart. When he said he was ready to die for the Lord he meant it and proved it when he pulled out the sword and dove into that crowd of soldiers. He fully expected to be cut down in the fray but he was determined to go down fighting. Then the Lord told him to put up his sword and he stood there embarrassed at his own foolishness and the Lord’s strange passivity. Three hours later he uncorked in front of that little girl and swore “I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t know that guy!” Then the Lord turned and looked at him and his world disintegrated. John was standing by the Cross to the final end, but there was no mention where Peter was during that horrible day and the one following. It is a miracle that we don’t read about Peter going out to commit suicide. Then the Lord sent a special message to him via an angel and the women, “Go tell the disciples AND PETER…” That must have been a shaft of light in his darkened soul, but he still wasn’t sure until the Lord Himself met with him a few hours later (Lk 24:34).

 The third representatives were the two Emmaus disciples (Lk. 24:13-35). The thing that is significant about them is that they come the closest to representative us. The main feature there was that their eyes we holden and then opened (Lk. 24:16, 31). How often has the Lord spoken to us by that verse that says “Jesus Himself drew near and went with them…(but they knew Him not).”! I had a close friend in Ikoma that was the most child-like man I ever met. One time he determined that he would meet with the Lord every morning and do one thing each day – whatever – the Lord told him to do. He had been doing that for several weeks when the Lord said a surprising word. He said, “John, I am going to visit you today.” John was thrilled and rushed home to change his clothes to meet the Lord. He had breakfast with his family and sat down in a chair in the living room to wait for the Lord to come. After a while the fellow next door came over and had a cup of coffee. Around 10 a couple students from the Bible school stopped by to see him – but no Lord. Finally he got a little edgy and asked the Lord what time He was coming. He said, “I have other things to do today and can’t sit here all day. Lord Jesus, what time are You coming?” Then the Lord said, “John, I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL MORNING.” With that John burst into tears.

When these disciples exasperatedly poured out their heart about all the turmoil in Jerusalem over the execution of Jesus of Nazareth, it is interesting that He didn’t rebuke them for not believing the testimony of the women who told them that Jesus was alive. He said, “O fools and slow of heart to believe the SCRIPTURE!” (verse 25). Then “beginning at Moses and all the prophets, He expounded unto them in all the Scripture the things concerning Himself.” (verse 27). I wish someone had recorded that. I would love to listen to that conversation. I would love to know what verses He talked about. It was as He was expounding the Scripture to them that their hearts burned within them (verse 32). This morning I asked our few believers (four others), “Have you ever experienced this; as you read the Bible your heart burned within you?”  After very serious thought, each one replied, “Yes I have.” There was a tremendous sense that Jesus indeed met with us this morning.

Somehow the distance to heaven seems shortened. Phyllis we didn’t lose Ted this year. He is not dead. He is no more removed from us than when our children went to the states for education. It was true that there was an ocean between us, but the separation was only momentary. The great thing about Ted is that he isn’t coming back here, but we are going there to see him. And that won’t be long.

People ask me from time to time if I would like to be remarried. Obviously that is a thought that has gone through my brain a great deal, but somehow it seems a little foolish. Hopefully, I won’t be around here much longer and I would hate to marry someone and then skip out on them after a year or two. If I knew I had to put in another 20 years in this sandy wilderness, it sure would be nice to have a partner, but – hopefully – we are very near the wire and I can hold on for a few more months. Beside it would be a shame to give up the expendable status the Lord has given me. That would cut down on the ministry. The Lord has given me the privilege to do some things in Laos and Vietnam that would be highly questionable for a family man.

Last week my good friends, Mark and Astrid Seibert, from Chiang Mai were here. We had a fabulous time going down to the Kansai. We spent the first night with my friends the Hirotas in Ikoma. Miyuki is the greatest hang-in-there gal I have ever met. When they were married his father was fierce! He was a powerful shacho (company president) and adamantly opposed to the Gospel. While we were there the Hirotas shared the testimony of what happened to him. As this terrifying old man got older Miyuki led him around like a little lamb. Finally he got so weak they stuck him in a hospital and then he came down with pneumonia that looked like it might take his life. When the old man knew he was facing death he protested, “I can’t die yet – I’m not saved!” That was the first time he ever said anything like that. Then they moved him to a new hospital. One day one of the nurses asked Miyuki, “Ojii san ga, nani ka no shukyo o yatte iru no desu ka?” (Does he practice some kind of religion?) “He refuses to eat until he says table grace.” They were bikkuri at that. Then his relatives came from Taiwan with some Buddhist trash to help him die. When they showed up with these idols he sent them packing saying, “I don’t need that junk! I’m a Christian!” Miyuki and Hirota san were thrilled. And they were tremendously grateful to the Lord when their father finally made it safely across the River. You would have to know this fierce man to appreciate this testimony, but when I think of where they started from and where they wound up I can’t help but laugh.

Mark has got a large number of folks coming to Chiang Mai for Bible courier service into Vietnam and Laos in May. He is really komaru and asked me to get down there to take a group of these young people into Laos. On my last trip I was able to set up a new route into north central Laos and I am the only one that knows those contacts. That means I have to get back to Chiang Mai by May 18^th to take these folks to Siang Khouang. These folks from a Bible school have requested the hardest route Mark has and that has got to be it. Laotians don’t recommend gaijins to take the bus in that area as it is dangerous with bandits and a real bone crusher of a trip. Only the most hardy souls could make that one. If they want a challenge they should be thrilled. It is the hardest course I know in the Orient. We also have several runs scheduled into Vietnam but we don’t know whether or not Mark and I can get in. Mark got turned back at the airport in Saigon the last time. I have to get a new passport in a couple of months and will see if that helps me. If we are on a bad blacklist that would greatly restrict our ministry in Vietnam. (I did send you a copy of the last dendo trip report where we were arrested didn’t I?)

 I wonder where you are and how you are doing. You should be in Texas – I think. But even so these letters should be waiting for you when you get back. In case you are short of reading material at least this will give you something to read.

David sent me an amazing E-mail some time ago but I just worked up nerve enough to read it last week. It is the best letter he has ever sent me. He is not where I wished he was spiritually, but he seems to be much better than I had thought. He said in another ten days he hoped to close a deal that was in the eight digit bracket. If that came through he planned to retire this year. He said in another year or two he hoped to set up a fund to finance my SEA dendo by about $200,000 a year. I appreciate the offer but I assured him that dendo was financed by a different account. Lord willing, I hope I never will be in a position where he has to carry me. The Lord’s work is always financed by Temple currency and to get that you have to convert mammon for the Lord’s gold. I refuse to use unconverted currency.

                                                           My prayers and love in Jesus are with you daily, bill

Doves Eyes

3 Apr, 2001

Dear Phyllis,

It’s Tuesday night and if I don’t write now it will be another week before I have another chance to. Usually I try to write on Sunday but this past Sunday I felt so negative that I thought it would be more of a blessing to remain quiet. This morning the Lord met with me I was so fired up I wanted to write right then, but work takes precedence. It has been a reasonably good day as I have been “dry- walling” – if you know what that means. I have had to build a couple new rooms in the printing section and the traditional US approach is to hang dry-wall on the walls and ceiling. I got that hung last week and this week I am taping and putting the “mud” (putty, plaster) on. This is really specialty work and totally different from carpentry. I used to hate it, but as there is no one in this country (or very few) that can do this work – of necessity – I have had to learn this skill, and now it is a lot of fun. I can’t compete with the US dry-wallers for speed, but I have learned enough that my finish is as good as most of theirs. It is fun to do it once in a while but I really wouldn’t want to do it full time for a living.

Tomorrow night my friend Mark and his family, from Chiang Mai, are coming for a week and I will be taking them down to my old stomping ground in Nara. It should be a beautiful trip as the cherry blossoms are nearly at their peak now and Nara is nationally famous for it cherry blossoms. Also the trip down there gong though Nagano is beautiful. If it is a nice day on Thursday I may go down around Fuji which would be a once in a life time experience for them. Mark and Astrid are real heroes as they are on the front lines doing some of the most dangerous work in taking Bibles into communist countries. If some one would write a book or make a movie of their lives you could never convince some people that it wasn’t fiction. I am just a water boy, but those folks are the real front runners of God’s A Team.

Several years ago Astrid was on a run taking a load of Bibles way into to China and made the contact with the Chinese brother at an eki. When she met the contact man she noticed he only had 8 fingers and she asked what happened to missing fingers. He said once he had been caught by the police with a Bible and they warned him if they ever caught him again they would cut off a finger. He had been caught three times and they had cut off two fingers. He said that didn’t matter and he didn’t care if it cost his life. That afternoon after the gaijin team left, the police caught the Chinese brethren who had received the Bibles – and that was the last time anyone ever saw the man with 8 fingers.

Roald just got back from another trip to China and had the usual story. He said, “That was probably the best trip I have ever been on.” Each trip just keeps getting better. The stories of what is happening in China are utterly apostolic! We know nothing in the western world of magnitude of the moving of the Spirit. The reality of Christ and the life of His Body is something that is utterly foreign to us. But so is the poverty and persecution. Christian meetings are forbidden by the authorities, but they are jammed to overflowing. The rate of conversions is astronomic! And the demand and need of Bibles is staggering. That is where NLL comes in. When Roald gave a report last week I was so humbled I felt like leaving the room as I don’t feel worthy even to listen to the report and sit in the same room with the people who are printing those Bibles. It is truly an awesome privilege to know these people here, but when they march up front to receive their rewards in heaven I am afraid I will be so far in the rear I will have to watch it on a monitor.

This morning I was in my favorite Song of Solomon again. In chapter 5:9-16 we have one of the most unique descriptions of Christ found anywhere in the Scripture. I have preached on it many times but I never get anywhere near the bottom. Verse 12 is perhaps the most descriptive verse in the Bible. It says “His eyes…”. I remember preaching on this one time and the Word so filled my heart it was hard to speak. Jesus told us a truth when He said the eyes are the windows of the soul. More than any other way we can see into a person’s heart through their eyes. The eyes clearly reflect love, fear, anger, hurt, etc. Without saying a word the eyes speak louder than anything we could utter with our mouth. I remember a dear friend once had a visitation from Satan who came and sat in her kitchen and talked to her for half an hour. I asked, “What did he look like?” She said, “Handsome! A very handsome being.” And I said, “Sister you are right; you have seen the devil.” But then she said, “His eyes…” Later she found a magazine with a picture of a tiger and showed it to me. She said, “Look at those eyes. That is what he looks like.” Tiger eyes. We have two snakes in Japan that look very similar, the yamakakashi and the mamushi. One is benign and the other is deadly. A friend once asked me how you can tell the difference and I replied, “By their eyes. If you ever kill a mamushi you will know it.” Several years later he spoke to me and said, “I killed a mamushi yesterday. Now I know what you mean.” Their eyes are slam different. There is something about a mamushi that looks deadly. But there is nothing as peaceful or as harmless as the eyes of a dove. I asked the Lord this morning if I could see His eyes. Some day we will. But it would be a thrill to be able to see them now. Then I thought of all the attributes mentioned in the S. of S. the eyes are the only one that requires sight to appreciate. His head, His hair, His mouth, His legs, etc; all these things speak to me and I can appreciate them without seeing them. But it is impossible to describe the eyes of a person to some who was born blind. It is like trying to describe a rainbow to a blind man. I thought, “Well, that leaves me out. My spiritual sight is so poor there is no way I can appreciate the eyes of Christ.” But then the Lord reminded me that I do have normal vision and I have seen doves eyes. By what I have seen in doves and others I can appreciate a little bit of what Christ is like.

Then the thought filled my heart, wouldn’t it be fantastic to look like Christ?! Anyone who looked like Christ would have to have doves eyes. It is almost unbelievable, but it is a fact that we do have doves eyes. Ironically this expression is used several times in the S of S but it is usually used by Christ in describing the beauty of His bride. This is the first thing He said of her in chapter 1:15. It would be an interesting to go through your own Bible and mark each time you find this expression – and you will find it is usually Christ speaking describing His bride. Obviously this is the Holy Spirit. If indeed the Spirit of Christ actually lives in me then it would stand to reason that I must have doves eyes. If Christ has them and He lives in me then I must have them also. But tragically those eyes are so often distorted by the myriad of emotions that fill our souls. I thought, there is no fear or pain in Christ’s eyes like there is so much in ours. And all the other un-Christ like emotions that are so characteristic of us, are not seen in Him.

I am sure you have heard the story about Michael Angelo and the angel, but it is well worth repeating. The story is told where Michael Angelo once bought a grotesque rock and from it he carved a beautiful angel. When he finished his master piece someone asked him how he was able to carve such a beautiful figure out of that ill shaped rocked and he replied it was simple. “All I did was remove the extraneous rock.”

Maybe that is what Jesus is doing with us. Maybe that is the reason for loneliness and the heart ache. Jesus is in the process of removing some precious things that are part of us, but in the process, when He gets done, the only thing He will have left is that which is of Himself. He has brought upon me blow after blow, but each time He chips off some of the things that I thought were important He is reducing me to be more like Himself. I don’t believe very many people would agree that doves eyes are very descriptive of bill cook, but as He gets me over one hurdle at a time – in retrospect – I must admit that each trial was fundamentally for my good. But – of course – the ultimate cure will be when we see Him as He is; then we will be like Him (1 Jn 3:2). 

I am well aware that other verses describe the eyes of Jesus differently. Of all people, it was John himself that described the eyes of Christ as a “flame of fire” (Rev 1: 14). I see no inconsistency is this at all. It all depends on the setting and circumstance. I’m sure my eyes must have been very tender when David was small and I picked him up to comfort him or to love him. But there were times when the paddle came out and some times those same eyes must have looked like the executioner to him. There will be the time when we must stand before this Christ whose eyes are like a flame of fire and have our works tried. Only that which is genuine will abide that fire and the rest will go up in smoke. But once we go through that fire it will be heaven to spend eternity getting to know more of the reality and depth of soul of the One who truly has doves eyes.

At least that was some of the things the Lord was sharing with me this morning.

I am not so sanguine as to suppose everything is just fine there. My heart is heavy with you daily as you adjust to a new life style. It is not easy and it does take a long time to adjust – but in time the pain does ease up. I’m sure your trip to Texas will be an excellent tonic and your fellowship with your sisters should be on a new level.

Mark and his family will be here until next Tuesday and so it will probably be at least a week or so before I will be able to write again. But that is pretty much the schedule anyway.

My prayers are with you daily.

                                                                                              In our tender Lord Jesus, bill