Pendulum Swings Both Ways

25 December 2011

Dear Phyllis,

It is Christmas and I am supposed to write some cheerful report about the blessing of God, But today is one ridiculous bummer. This past week has been an unbelievably bad experience. One of the worst of my life.

Any honest observer must admit that the pendulum of God swings both ways. There are as many bad things that happen in life as there are good ones. The Christian life is not sunny days with song birds and flowers every day. There are a lot of bad things happen. But God makes even the bad ones to be the best good. In my book, The Inverted Kingdom, I have a chapter where, in the Kingdom of God, the bad things are the best. Unquestionably the darkest day in human history was the day that the Son of God got murdered by wicked religious leaders. But God made that event to be the opening of the gate to heaven. When Jim Elliot and the other four missionaries got killed by the Aqua Indians in Equator in 1955, that was a major tragedy. But that event was the biggest impetus for foreign mission in decades. Those brethren accomplished more by their death than if each one had lived to see 80 and had 50 fruitful years on the mission field. I believe it is a clear case that God makes our worst experience to be some of the best of our lives. I have had a wonderful Christmas. It couldn't get worse.

Visas in Thailand are a cliffhanger. It is more difficult to get a visa in Thailand than in communist countries. My last two visas have been singular miracles. The best we can get is a one year visa, but, even with that, everyone must report to immigration every three months to get their passport stamped. Until recently I have traveled so much that going in and out of the country constituted the 90 day report. This year was the first time I had a visa where I thought I didn't have to go out of the country. For my 90 day check I went to Immigration in Chiang Mai in September and got a receipt stapled to my passport saying my next 90 day was up on the 25^th of December. The fine for overstay is 500B a day ($18). That gets expensive. I was up tight that I not forget it, and went to Immigration on the 22^nd to do my 90 day thing. I was stunned when I was told that my passport wasn't stamped and I was overstay three months. Fortunately there is a limit of a maximum fine of 20,000B ($665) for overstay and I qualified for the 20,000B fine.

Sick doesn't describe it. The devil was a great help in constructing various scenarios for me in my mind, where I either languished in prison, or got deported from Thailand, and never saw my wife again. I talked to one lady who advised me to defy the authorities, and say,“I will go to jail”. But her husband told me the rest of that story, how they dodged the bullet by huge miracle with their house manager coming to see them in the top Immigration officers office to get the house keys so their girls could get in the house. When that man learned of their ministry in Thailand he forgave them and they got by free. But I learned of another man who took the jail route and was stuck in prison until his mother sold the farm in Germany and sent him the money to get him out of jail. Another brother called a lawyer who told him there was no way Bill was going to get out of that violation, but advised that I take a lawyer with me when I paid the $665 fine. I couldn't believe it. I did everything right and got the receipt that I had been to the Immigration office in September. I had the paper saying I was good until December 25. But apparently there are different types of visas and with my visa I must leave the country every 90 days. And there was no stamp in my passport.

This was one of the most difficult problems of my life. Our monthly support level is only a fraction of that fine. The Lord had given my a comfortable cushion before I got married and we have been living on that since August. But our expenses have been staggering and we are right down to the bottom of the barrel. We don't have enough money to finish making the kitchen, and I had hoped the Lord would give us a wonderful $600 Christmas present. Instead of that we got a $665 fine of money we didn't have. I thought of asking friends if we could borrow that money, but the Bible says “Owe no man anything” (Rom. 13:8), and I have never borrowed a thing since I have been saved. I thought of overdrawing our ATM card and hope the money would come in before that got billed to the bank. But that is not wise. It was a lose-lose situation with no answer. That evening a friend walked up to me and handed me 20,000B saying “Here is the money for your fine.” I burst into tears. He said, “If you need it use it. If you don't need it give it back. I don't want to sees you go to jail.”It wasn't a loan and yet it was. But I was grateful.

A friend knew a Christian lady who had a close friend who worked at Immigration and suggested that we have her go to Immigration and see if she could pull stings. Very kindly she did go with us, but explained that my case was very clear that I was in violation. I must go to Mae Sai to the Burma border crossing and pay the 20,000B fine.

Another friend had a similar incident where he was overstay two months, but when he left Thailand by plane, the Imagination official missed it and he got by free. With my paper stamped in my passport saying I was good until December25 I thought there was a fair possibility that I might get by at Mae Sai if I got there before that expired. Ifelt I must go up there Saturday, the 24^th.

Most people don't believe it is possible to make a round trip to Mae Sai by bike in one day, but I have done it many times. All my friends warned, “Yes, you could do crazy things before you were married, but now you have a wife and must think about her. Pammy was insistent that she had to go with me to Mae Sai, and perhaps she could help me with the Immigration officials. Everyone agreed the only way to get there was by bus. Pammy said the bus left at 5:00 AM which meant we had to get up at 4:00 Saturday morning. The night before we had Christmas caroling and had 40 people in our home having hot chocolate at 11:00 o'clock. We were both shot when we went to bed at midnight. The alarm clock went off an 4:00 and I got up to turn it off. Jesus was able to call Lazarus out of the grave after he had been dead for 4 days but I believe it would have been a more difficult challenge for Him to try to raise Pammy at 4:00 that morning. She was out cold and didn't know a thing. I didn't have the heart to wake her and decided I would go by myself by bike in the morning.

At 7:00 she woke up, and I told her I was leaving by bike by myself She protested, “No there are buses leaving every 30 minutes. It is no problem. We can still go by bus.” Reluctantly I backed off, and we got to the bus terminal around 9:00. While she was standing in a long line to buy a ticket, I was walking around and saw an electronic display showing the time of bus departures. The next bus for Mae Sai was at 11:15, and the next bus for Chiang Rai – part way – was sold out. So much for the bus. I told Pammy I was going home and go by bike by myself. I told her to give me the money for the fine. She said, “No”. Big problem. Finally she said, “Alright let's go home and we will both go by bike”. I really didn't think that was wise. I have WD40 oil in my veins for blood but she isn't a machine and couldn't take a grueling bike ride. However I did like the idea of her going with me and reluctantly backed off again.

I am a very fast, daring, bike rider that would make Evil Kaneival sweat on the back of a bike with me. Pammy's father and brother were killed on motor bikes and she had been hit once. Very naturally, she has a problem, and was totally clanked up by the time we got to a rest area half way. I suggested she stay there; I would go on by myself, and would pick her up on my way back. She insisted that she must continue to go all the way with me to Mae Sai, but she would take the bus home. That made sense.

We finally got to Mae Sai by 3:30. When we went to the Immigration border crossing , there were two different windows – one for Thais, and one for foreigners. Of courser I had to go to the foreigner window by myself. The man was kind, but after looking at my passport, he looked up and said, “This is overstay isn't it?” I made a feeble attempt to protest but knew it was a lost cause. I handed the man 20,000 B. The officials filled out a receipt and stamped my passport. I was $665 poorer, but my crime in Thailand was settled. When I cleared passport control; I looked for Pammy. No wife. I thought maybe she cleared first and was waiting for me on the other side of the bridge at the Burma passport control. I knew I had to go there to officially clear into Burma, and then go back to Thailand. No Pammy. I walked back the 50 meters to Thailand to check back in. I was delighted to be back in Thailand legally for another three months, but no wife. The chance of finding her in that huge crowd was less than finding a needle in a hay stack. My last hope was where we left the bike. Maybe she didn't go into Burma. and was waiting for me at the bike. No such luck. She could be anywhere, and it was pointless to try to look for her. After waiting for another 20 minutes, I knew that I could wait no longer. I had a grueling ride back to Chiang Mai in front of me, and only had an hour and a half of day light left. She had said she was going back by bus, so I left without her.

The Lord was marvelous, and I made excellent time going home, but the last hour was extremely dangerous. I had a 70 km ride over a very difficult mountain pass, and, with on-coming traffic, the visibility was next to zero. When I went around a curve, sometimes I didn't know if the road went right, left, or was behind me. Fortunately there was a lot of traffic, and passing cars provided light for me. Finally I found a truck going about my speed and followed him for half an hour. That was the Lord's provision to get me over that pass. I was one happy camper when I walked in the front door at home. It had been an extremely challenging day but my nightmare over staying in Thailand was settled, and I was safely home again.

Twenty minutes after I got home, the phone rang. Pammy had gotten as far as Chiang Rai from Mae Sai, but missed the last bus to Chiang Mai. I was delighted to know where she was and she was safe, but was concerned that she might spend a difficult night on a bench at the bus terminal. Four hours later, I was sound asleep when I thought the alarm clock had gone off. I got up and tried to turn it off, but it was the telephone. Pammy was in a guest house but couldn't sleep. I started to pray but the phone went dead.

I thought what a merry Christmas. Here it was Christmas eve. I had hoped for a wonderful gift from the Lord for Christmas, but all I got was a fine for $665 for something I was sure I was completely right. It had been a maddening day beginning at 4:00 AM and the scenario had changed several tines. In the process I had lost my wife and this was the first night since we were married that I had to sleep alone. My wife was in a guest 200km away and couldn't sleep.

Such are the ways of the Lord. I am sure that Joseph had hoped for the best when he got that notice from the government that he would have to return to his home town to be taxed. In his wildest imagination he could not conceive a worse case scenario than his Son would be born in a barn. But the world has worshiped that Babe that was placed in the manger along with the cow feed. ever since. Today it would be hard to construct a more diametric scenario from the traditional joyful Christmas with presents around the Christmas tree. I am not the least bit discouraged. How, when, or where the Lord will vindicate Himself, I don't know, but I am sure that someday I will look back and say, Christmas 2011 was one of the best of my life. God's ways are backwards from ours. This had to be one of the worst and I am sure it will be one of the best.

Praise God!

bill

Christmas Miracle

18 December 2011

Dear Phyllis,

With the construction of Pammy's new kitchen, the Lord is re-installing me to the world of the homo sapient. For 21 years I felt that I had been demoted to being a sub-ningen (human) species. Ever since my world disintegrated in 1990, I felt strongly that I was no longer a ningen, and learned to live comfortably in my new status. It was a simple life, and a good one. For years I had no home, no family, or personal possessions. I never wanted to acquire anything more than I could carry on my back. But since the Lord has given me a wife again, with her, comes all the things associated with a domestic life. It is a bit of a struggle, but the Lord is helping me to adopt to being a ningen again.

Many years ago I had a wonderful life in Karuizawa. No one could have desired more. We lived in the prime property in Japan, had a house that made ambassadors envious, and had a model family. The only problem was, Joe Carroll owned the property, and there was always the shadow that it might get sold someday. As I was praying about my future, I felt that the Lord spoke to me from the Scripture and promised, “The Lord will build thee an house”(1 Chron. 17:10). It was a bitter pill when the day came that Joe told me to get out and everything went to zero.

But then two years later we moved to Ikoma, and Japan Mission funded building Joy Corral. Oh my goodness, I enjoyed that! I wrote, “the Lord has fulfilled His promise to me of building me a house”. That was the best house I ever lived in. But then that crashed. I learned a bitter lesson about claiming promises from the Bible that turn out to be a bad trip. For the next two decades and more that promise about the Lord building me a house got relegated to the file of many mistakes I have made in life in claiming false guidance. But now I wonder if I am in the process of enjoying a third house. Last week in my devotions I went back to that promise that the Lord made to David, and the Lord reminded me of the strangeness of His ways.

! Chron. 17 is a wonderful chapter. It was at a peaceful time in David's life. He had spent 20 years being chased from pillar to post by Saul, and then engaged in a civil war in Israel until the kingdom was finally established. At last everything in his life calmed down. He was established as king in Israel.

One of the first things David did was to move the Ark of the Covenant. It had sat in Kirjathjearim ever since the Philistines had captured it, and then returned it on the ox cart. The first attempt to move the Ark was a disaster because David tried to move it on an ox cart. But the second time he realized the Ark should only be carried on the shoulders of Levites. It was a big event in Israel when they finally moved the Ark to its final resting place in Jerusalem. It had been a 500 year journey from the days of Moses until it finally came to its resting home in Jerusalem. David had a lovely palace in Jerusalem and peace on all sides. After he had moved the Ark, and consider the nice palace he was living in, the shabby tent the Lord was in looked very unfit. Very naturally, David had a great desire to build a proper temple for the Lord. Nathan told him to do whatever was in his heart. But that very night the Lord spoke to Nathan, and told he to tell David that he couldn't build the temple, but his son would. The message that the Lord sent to David by Nathan is as wonderful as any in the Bible (1Ch. 17:7-15).

It starts off with the Lord reminding David how He took him from following the sheep to making him one of the great men of the world. Then he said, “Furthermore, I tell thee, that the Lord will build thee an house” (1Ch. 17:10). God promised David that He wold raise up his seed after him and establish his kingdom. He promised that his son would build the Lord's house and He would establish his throne forever. He said, “I will be his Father and he shall be My Son.” Verse 13 says, “I will settle him in My house and in My Kingdom forever; and His throne shall be established for evermore.

We naturally read this with Solomon in mind. It is true that Solomon did build the Lord's temple, but what God promised David does not fit Solomon. Solomon was only a type of the real Son of David who was to come. Three times in that promise, the Lord used the word forever. For another 500 years the dynasty of David did continue in Jerusalem, but when it came to the Babylonian captivity the throne of David ceased to exist. The linage of David virtually disappeared. From the time of the Babylonian captivity on it looked like God's promise to David was a sham. The kingdom never really got established and the throne of David did not exist. So much for the forever.

But then, when we read the New Testament, it is highly significant how that starts out. Mathew 1:1 reads, “The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the Son of David...” There it is. This is what the Lord was talking about when He promised David, “that I will raise up thy seed after thee, which shall be of thy sons, and I will establish His Kingdom.” (Ch. 17:11). Even before the birth of Christ, when Gabriel was talking to Mary, he told her that her Child would be called the Son of the highest and the Lord God would give to Him the Throne of His father David (Lk. 1:32).

Mathew 1:18 tells us that there were 14 generations from Abraham to David, 14 generations from David to the Babylonian captivity, and 14 generations from there to Christ. We can trace some of the genealogy from Abraham for a while; the genealogy from David to Babylon is fairly easy, as these are the kings recorded in 1 and 2 Kings and 2 Chronicles; but from there on the linage of David becomes almost oblivious. Of course, if you would put the whole family tree down, there would be hundreds. But lost in that maze of multiple decedents the blood line of David actually ran to a poor carpenter who lived in Nazareth. Who would have ever thought that that poor carpenter was the seed of David promised by God? I used to wonder why it was so frequent in the gospels that Jesus was called the Son of David (16 times). And when the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream he called him,“Joseph, thou son of David” (Mt. 1:20).

Christ was the fulfillment of God's promise to David about “The Lord will build thee a house...” and He would “establish His Throne forever”. How strange are His ways! Again it is just another reminder that if we think we can trace the Hand of God by our natural reasoning we are greatly mistaken.

The reason I mention all this is because I have been caused to reconsider what I thought was God's promise to me 35 years ago. The first house was the one in Karuizawa. The second one was the one in Ikoma. Now I am working on a third house in Chiang Mai. I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but I have no difficulty in believing, someday, when I get to heaven, the Lord will explain all this to me; and I will be overwhelmed at His mercy in the life He has granted me.

The biggest difference between now and 35 years ago is that, then I was obsessed with a physical house on a hill in Karuizawa. Today things like that are relatively unimportant, but I am obsessed with building the Lord's house; which is made of living stones built together for a habitation of God through the Spirit (Eph. 2:21, 22).

I am making progress on Pammy's kitchen, but there have been an enormous amount of daily interruptions. It was 8:00 o'clock last night that I finally got the work done that I had hoped to have accomplished by 10:00 o'clock Thursday morning.

My friend Paul has developed a practice of showing up at our house at dawn every morning for an hour or two of fellowship. I would consider this an unwarranted interruption except he is one of the most unusual young Christians I have ever met. He comes from a terrible background, and is as rough as a wood rasp. He is such a young Christian that he is still wet. But, man howdy, they are seeing some amazing things.

A couple of months ago he got in with a British missionary who has a boys home. Everyone is dirt poor and Paul wanted to do something special for the boys for Christmas. He suggested to Garreth that they have a special Christmas party, and he planned to buy 15 pairs of soccer shoes for the boys. Unbeknown to him, Garreth invited everyone in northern Thailand to come to the Christmas party. This put everything totally off the scale. He feared that if things got totally out of hand, there might be as many as 100 show up. Marisa bought enough food for 100 guests and got a huge pot to cook it in. He said, by count, they had 98 pieces of chicken cooked. (He ate 2 before they got there.) To his total terror, truck load after truck load of guests came from all over northern Thailand. By actual count he saw 207 noses and hungry mouths. Then the miracle happened. This long line formed and he watched 207 hungry children and a few adults file by and everyone got a piece of chicken. More than that Marisa had ordered 6 cakes for what she thought would be about 20 guests. Miraculously 207 people got a large piece of cake. Some came back for seconds. I have heard of a few “feeding the 5,000” miracles before, but this one is the best. Paul was completely blown out of his mind. But the miracle of the feeding of the 207 was only part of the story. What happened that night defies explanation. Paul said the party got started at 4:00 in the afternoon and was still going strong at 11:00 that night when they left to go home.. It was totally unorganized. No one planned it. But different groups of Christians from all over got up to perform. In view of what they thought would be a small party, Marisa and her two girls had planned to sing. Of the seven hour program that took ten minutes at most. There was another sister, who has a girls home that frequently sing together, who sang some songs. But the rest of it was spontaneous as far as he knew. A large percentage of those there were hill tribe people who did a lot of their native Christian dancing. Paul said some of it looked like Los Vegas – really professional!

As astounding as all of this was, Paul said the main feature the joy. He had never seen anything like it in his life. He never knew there was anything like that on this planet. Paul is a real tough guy. He has been in many horrible situations. He is a tough guy that never cried. Several months ago he came to me in strictest confidence, and confided that he would unexplainably burst into tears at some Christian meetings. He asked, “Am I sick? Do I need medication? I don't even know what they are saying, and sometimes I burst into tears.” I explained to him that this was a sign of the Holy Spirit. Paul said last night he uncontrollably bawled for two hours straight. He was so embarrassed that he had to pull his cap down over his face.

They are pretty tight financially at the moment and had spent close to $250 for that small party. He apologized to his two daughters that he didn't have any money left over to buy them Christmas presents. His 13 year old girls replied, “That's okay, dad. Jesus is all the Christmas present we need.”

After all, that is what it is all about.

bill

I Lied

11 December 2011

Dear Phyllis,

I lied. Last week I wrote you, “I preached this morning on Isa. 3018”. I did no such thing. Now I have to tell the truth.

Fourteen years ago, when I returned to Japan from spending my year in the states, I had nothing to do on Sunday afternoon. I was lonely and you all were about the only people I had to write to. We had had such wonderful fellowship in the states that I started to write to you and Ted just for someone to talk to. That started this tradition, and I have written you every week since then.

But Sundays today are not like they were then. Sundays start out in the morning by having devotions and going to church. Who knows what will happen after that. But frequently, now, it is late evening before we get home, and I haven't written my letter to you yet. To get the drop on that, I am beginning to start this letter on Saturday morning, but sometimes it is Tuesday or Wednesday before I get it sent off.

Last week I got up at 5:00 AM to have devolution's and do some preparation for the message I was going to give at Forgiveness Church. In order to get my letter to you done on time, I decided writing you would be good sermon preparation; so basically what I wrote you about preaching from Isa. 30:18 was message preparation.

The night before, that verse had come to my heart and I thought that was what the Lord had to say to us. I felt unusually comfortable that I knew the mind of the Lord and was well prepared until I got to church. I had no idea it was Fathers Day in Thailand, and the theme of everything was on fathers. Obviously, what I had to say was totally unfit for that service, and I hadn't the faintest idea what to say to replace my message. I can't recall ever preaching on fathers in my life. As I sat there with my head spinning, one verse came to my heart. Jesus said, “When ye pray say, 'Our Father'”.

Bikquis Sheik was the wife of the Finance Minister of Pakistan. She was a very high class woman and a very devout sincere seeker of God. She desperately wanted to know God. Being a highly international lady she had come under some influence of Christianity in western countries and knew the Bible was the Book of the Christian God. In her search for God she was reading both the quaran and the Bible. She had no idea how to address the Christian God, but she had read in the Bible that Jesus taught “when ye pray say, our Father”. In her sincere innocence, the first time she spoke to God she said, “Father”. At that instant she burst into tears, and knew that God had heard her. She later wrote her autobiography , I Dared To Call Him Father. In 1971 I had the privilege of personally hearing her speak in Los Angeles. In her testimony, she got as far as that remark and broke down. That was as far as she could talk.

Reading her book and hearing her testimony opened my eyes to what an unusual experience it is for us to address God as our Father. This was something totally new that Jesus brought with Him. No one in the OT ever called God Father. That thought never crossed their mind. The very Name of God was so sacred that the Jews never used His Name. For a Muslim to address God as Father was equally unthinkable. That is why it was such a stunning experience for Bilquis Sheik to speak to God as Father.

Joe Carroll told me of a time he was sharing a Bible conference with AW Tozer at Fort Wayne Bible Collage. They asked Joe to do the counseling. Joe said the kids at that Bible school who came in for counseling were lined down the hall. They came in scared to death. I asked Joe, “What in the world was Tozer preaching about?”

“God.”

“What could he get like that from the doctrine of God?”

Then Joe quoted a verse from Exodus where Moses was meeting with God. He said, God came down on Mt. Sinai and the entire mountain was on fire. The Jews were scared to death. But Moses went up into that burning fire and lived.

Oh, my goodness! I never thought of God like that! Small wonder those kids were coming in terrified. They had never heard anyone speak about God before. Joe said that he thought Tozer knew God the Father better than anyone on this planet.

I am amazed at the startling disrespect that Christians show towards God today. I am sure it is because of a defective message that is being preached today. There is such an unjustified emphasis on the loving, compassionate, forgiving God that we have no concept of the basic attributes of the holiness of God, and of God as a consuming fire.

Jonathan Edwards didn't emphasize this in his famous message on Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. When he preached that message, his listeners were literally clinging to the post of the church for fear of falling into the flames of hell.

When I was in the Air Force at Yokota, one time the Russians were giving us fits with a stream of bombers coming at us in Japan. We had to scramble fighters to meet them. When we would get within radar range of the Russian bombers, they would turn around. We would go back to land and the bombers would come at us again. We flew a steady stream of fighters going at them for three days, round the clock. It was so unusual even our commanding general came down to take a turn in a fighter to go out to see what was going on. I had been on the alert pad that night, and was there when General Milton came out to set up in a plane. The airman at the communication desk happened to be out getting coffee when one of the pilots called over from our operation room. The general went over to take the call, and said, “This is General Milton. The captain calling said, “Aw come on George, knock it off. What is going on out there?” The general replied again, “This is General. Milton.”

“Knock off the ##xx## George. If you are General Milton I am President Kennedy.”

He didn't know who he was talking to. Five minutes later a red-faced, embarrassed captain came running out to the alert pad to apologize. You don't talk like that to a general.

As I listen to some people pray, I wonder, “Who in the world do they think they are talking to?” We have such an unhealthy familiarity with God that we have lost sight of any concept of who we are talking to. It is an awesome experience to talk to God. The Islamics don't have this problem. They have a terrific fear of God. The other day a brother asked me, “Do you think this is good?” My reply was, “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.”

If we look at things this way, we can appreciate what an astounding thing it is to address God as Father. Jesus was the first One to ever do that. And the reason He could was because He was the Son of God. There is only one reason why Jesus instructed us to say, when we pray, “Our Father”. That is because we too are born of God to be sons of God. It is because of the new birth that we can honestly call God Father. And this is one of the evidences of salvation when God sends His Spirit into our heart crying “Abba Father” (Rom. 8:15, 16).

Last Sunday when I was introduced to speak I had little more than the verse in Luke 11:2 and the story of Bilquis Sheik, but 45 minutes later, when I sat down, Pastor Peter thanked me for a very good message. That one came from God – not me.

Yesterday Pastor Kichikun called me and asked if I could speak today. That was short notice, but not as bad as the week before. When I asked the Lord what He wanted to say to us, I felt He directed me to go with the message I had prepared for last week. Indeed that seemed to be correct, as I had a very good time today speaking on “Therefore will the Lord wait...” (Isa, 30:18).

Yesterday we had another amazing miracle. About a month ago Mark told me that he was quiting this building as a warehouse for his Bibles. Ever since I have lived here the kitchen has been slam full of Bibles, We only had a very small corner to use for a kitchen.

With this whole house being now our home I promised Pammy make her a beautiful American kitchen where we can entertain guest to share Christ. I wanted to get that done for a Christmas present, and Mark promised me to have the place cleaned out by the 7^th. Mark also promised to pay the December rent. When the 9^thcame, and Mark had done nothing to clean out the kitchen I decided he just wasn't concerned, and would let everything stand until the end of the month. I started to move the boxes to the other room, but that was a Herculean task. There were 384 boxes each weighing close to 50 lbs. That is 17,000 lbs to move from one room to another. I had moved 80 boxes by myself, and figured it would take me close to a week to move the rest. And I wasn't anxious to spend my time moving 304 boxes when I should be making Pammy's kitchen.

Friday, Paul told me that Mark had asked him to take some of those Bibles up to Mae Sai Saturday. Yesterday morning Paul showed up and started loading his truck with Bibles. I hoped he would take them from the kitchen and not from the living room, which was much closer to the door. No such luck. I came down stairs and saw he was loading the Bible I had moved to the living room rather than taking his from the kitchen. In my mind Paul was Mark's man doing Mark's work. But rather than helping me he was taking the short cut by taking the Bibles nearest the door. The problem was, in my heart I was not right with God and was somewhat upset with Mark. When I saw Paul loading the Bibles I had moved – something in me snapped. In a very nasty tone I yelled, “Thanks a lot! Go on take the boxes nearest your truck and let me move all those boxes out of the kitchen.” Paul is a fine brother, but he has an extremely explosive temper. My nasty remark really did the trick. He uncorked like I have never seen him. Be became down right violent. He shouted back, “Alright, I'll move the whole kitchen by myself!” What I am trying to say is we had a murderous situation on our hands. That sobered me up a little, and I asked Paul, “Could we pray?”

“NO! Get out of here! I will do everything by myself!”

The place was charged with high octane adrenaline. Both of us were furious. I started hauling boxes from the kitchen to the living room. Pammy saw what was happening and she and another girl, who was here visiting her, started carrying them from where I was putting them to the door. Together we were stacking them up higher than Paul could put them on his truck. It didn't take long to load Paul's truck. The exertion had burned up most of the adrenaline, and when Paul had his truck loaded, I spoke to him to apologize. He was crushed. In great humility he hung his head and said, “I can't believe I did such a bad thing. Those Bibles are sacred and I thew a couple of boxes.” I explained to him how the devil works to cause problems between brothers. I shared, “The problem was my heart was not right towards Mark, and I was totally wrong in speaking like that to you.” Paul was humiliated for exploding and offered, “Please let me move that kitchen for you.” He refused to accept my pleading not to do it. This forced me to work with him. It nearly killed me but, but two hours later the kitchen was completely empty.

You talk about Romans 8:28; now there is one for you. I was totally wrong in my heart and by what I said, but the Lord turned all that around to clear out the kitchen so I can get Pammy's kitchen done by Christmas

It is wonderful that we serve a God who an take even our sin and dumb mistakes and turn them around for our good and His glory. Praise God!

bill

The Marriage Game

4 December 2011

Dear Phyllis,

It is a little bit embarrassing to be 75 and the second time around to find myself at the lower level trying to learn some of the basics of married life, but these past two weeks have been a major learning experience. Pammy is a very good girl. I give her high points, but for her to become my wife is no easy challenge. She is a fairly strong choleric woman who has been on her own doing her own thing in business and serving the Lord for the past twenty five years. To suddenly adopt a reversed role is a terrific change.

For my part I find myself struggling to learn the balance of complying with her and at the same time maintaining my role as headship. Doctrinally we are agreed. Pammy said she wanted someone to be her head, but she still has a strong independent spirit. I have found that direct confrontation is highly counter productive. And being genuinely considerate breeds good results.

The biggest struggle we have is cleanliness. Pammy is clean to an extreme. I believe it is not unkind to say she is excessive in that direction. I appreciate a clean house. I thank the Lord for such a neat wife, but I have been living like a pig for 21 years. Needless to say the adjustment for me is traumatic. I am trying my best, but our view of what is dirty and what is clean is at great variance.

The Lord gave us worlds greatest dog right at the beginning. We were out one day visiting with Pastor Kichikun when he picked up a puppy and put her in his car. I was a little concerned and asked, “Whose dog is that?” He replied, “Its mine. I am taking her home with me.” But then when he left us off, the dog got unloaded too. I asked again, “Whose dog is that?”This time he replied, “She is yours. Pammy wants her.” That was a hard one for me to swallow. But Black Canyon is the sweetest puppy I have ever had. Pammy and I started off at opposite poles about raising and keeping a dog. I believe in treating a dog like a child and she thinks dogs should be treated like a dog. But Black Canyon is wining the struggle and is living a great deal of the time in the house now. She is like a lot of things in life that the Lord gives us. At first we don't want it, but later see that this was from God and it turns out to be a big blessing.'

When I first woke up this morning a simple thought came to me, but one that is profoundly important. Anyone should know that the devils basic tactic is to attack the Word of God. The first thing that ever came out of the mouth of the devil was, “Hath God said?” – questioning the Word of God. The old serpent hasn't changed his play-book since that first moment in the Garden. Undoubtedly the devils greatest generals are seminary professors subtly attacking the veracity of the Word of God, and turning out an army of liberal pastors who have decimated Christianity.

But the devils second attack is by suggesting “God has said”, when He really hasn't. For this message the devil uses his false prophets. In Jeremiah and Ezekiel we see a great deal of this with the false prophets proclaiming, “God has said”; when He has said no such thing. These two tactics are not just something that rages in lecture halls, but are voices heard in the heart of Christians world wide, every day. The first attack is to produce unbelief in questioning what God has said. But the second one is designed to produce confusion in sending us off on wild misguided actions. All this false guidance causes a major communication breakdown in wondering what is of God and what is not. I have found this to be one of the most difficult challenges in my Christian life.

Pastor Peter asked me to speak at his Forgiveness Church again this morning. The last two times we were there were such bad experiences I swore I would never go back. But when he called, I thought perhaps I should be a little more forgiving and give it one more go. It was better today. I spoke from Ias. 30:18– Therefore will the Lord wait, that He may be gracious to you”.

Along with the problem of communication, another huge problems in following the Lord is time. By nature humans are very impatient beings. We want what we want when we want it. Very often there is a huge time gap with God. God promised Adam in the Garden that the seed of the woman would crush the serpents head, but it was 4,000 years before Christ came in the fullness of time (Gal. 4:4). We don't know how old

Abraham was when God first promised him a son, but it is safe to say it was at least 50 to 70 years before Issac was born. What a long time to wait! This time gap is hard to deal with and we wonder why God is so long in getting around to doing what He has promised. Here in Isiah we see two answers. “Therefore will the Lord wait, that He might be gracious unto you.” The first answer is that He might be gracious unto us.

God knows that waiting is a valuable experience for us. James tell us that patience is associated with perfection. “Let patience have her perfect work that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing” (Jm. 1:4). A job is not done until it is done. If I am building a house it is not finished until I hang a door on it. Who wants a house with no door? Walls are pointless if there is no door. God wants us perfect and entire. He wants us complete. He wants us with all the parts in place. He doesn't want a car with no tires. God obviously is a very patient Being. Christ can wait 2,000 years for His Bride to get ready. We can't wait 15 minutes. Patience takes a lot of the frustration out of life. We are a lot more relaxed. A patient person can sit and calmly wait while an impatient person is going crazy. A patient person is in control while an impatient person is out of control. God has watched humanity go berserk for 6,000 years, but He is perfectly relaxed knowing that all this is working out for the honor of His Son. Christ will be exalted in a way that would never have happened if Adam had never sinned. A champion never shines so gloriously before a match than he does after a hard fought battle. The battle reveals what is in Him, and Christ's winning our salvation has revealed for eternity what is in Him. God is patient, and he wants us to be like Him. Therefore He waits for our sake – to perfect us.

Another reason for the conflict in waiting is that our agendas are different. We have our agenda that we want now. Very often God's agenda is different and He quietly waits until His agenda comes around. My goodness, when my world collapsed 21 years ago, when Rosemary left me, I nearly went crazy. For a couple of years I was desperate to find a new partner so I could get back in the race as a homo sapient. I had been demoted to a sub-human species. I sure didn't like it. I wanted a home and a partner to serve Christ. But I was homeless for many years. At first I was just flat desperate. Later I accepted the sub-human status the Lord made me, and that made me different. It enabled me to do a lot of things that normal people couldn't do. Of course, now I thank God for all He has done for me. His way is the best possible way. Over the years I thought the Lord was leading mer to marry half a dozen different sisters. Time and again I felt He had provided a partner only to see that relationship go south. It wasn't that I was desperate, but guidance was difficult. I didn't know why God waited 21 years, but now I see He was preparing a Thai sister to be my partner, and He kept me from all the wrong ones. Now I have an amazing wife. But had He given me this sister earlier, I don't believe I could have handled it. He was waiting that He might be gracious to me. How many a young person has this testimony – “I'm so glad the Lord waited. Had He given me what I wanted when I was young I would have ruined my life. The Lord was gracious to me”.

The time factor is difficult. Sometimes it looks like betrayal. When Jesus heard about Lazarus' sickness He waited two more days before moving. Then He said, “I am glad for your sake that I was not there” (Jn. 11:15). Mary and Martha weren't gald. Both of them felt they had been betrayed. Mary was melancholic. She was hurt the deepest. When Martha heard that Jesus had come, she immediately went to meet Him; “but Mary sat still in the house” (Jn. 11:20). Both of them said the same thing – “Lord, if You would have been here...” (vrs. 21, 32). The Lord's time table was hard on them; but He had a purpose in waiting.

We may not see it in this life. I had a very dear secretary, Lavinia McCart. Like any woman, she dreamed of being married. Her emotions ran very deeply. Yet Lavinia lived a very difficult single life on the mission field. She was in Cambodia for 11 years and suffered horribly when Cambodia went through that unimaginable genocide. Then she spent another 20 years serving the Lord in Japan. She finished her race as a lonely soul in a nursing home. Her sister wrote me that Lavinia was a very sullen person in the end, and never spoke much about her experience on the mission field. Lavinia lived a life of deep disappointment, but I am sure when she got to the City she thanked God for the privileged life she had. I am sure Lavinia has one of the most beautiful wedding dresses in heaven. I can't imagine her standing any other place than nearest the Throne dressed in beauty. I am sure she will say above many, “Oh, I am so glad the Lord waited. He has given me the highest place. Oh how gracious He was to me!”

But the second reason God waits is that He might be exalted. This was certainly true with Abraham. It would have been easy for God to fulfill His promise to Abraham to have a son when he was younger, but He waited until Sarah had gone through menopause before He would give her that son. Issac had to be a miracle child. He had to be totally of God. Many is the time when the Lord waits until all hope is gone before He steps forward to save us. That way He gets all the glory. This is better than letting nature take its course. If the miracle is totally of God He gets all the glory.

Obviously, this was the case with Lazarus. The Lord could have shown up when he still had a ways to go to death. He could have kept him perfectly healthy for that matter. There wouldn't be much glory to God just to have a healthy man. And the Lord wouldn't have received as much glory if Jesus had healed him when he first came down with a fever. Jesus waited until Lazarus was not only dead, but the body had decayed so badly it stunk. Jesus clearly said “This sickness is...for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.” (Jn. 11:4). That was the reason why the Lord had to wait so long.

No doubt there are other reasons for God's time table to be at variance with ours. We want it right now, but God has a very specific purpose in waiting. One is that He might be gracious unto us. This is both in what waiting does for us personally, but also in keeping us from dumb mistakes when we are pushing our own agenda. As much as we get impatient with the Lord and wonder why He isn't more cooperative in giving what we want now, we can rest assured that He has a very definite purpose in His waiting. One is that He is very gracious, and the other is that He might be exalted.

Our future here is still uncertain but we do know that we have one more year here. On the basis of that I am going ahead and making Pammy a first class American kitchen. I hope to get it done by Christmas. We have a long list of people we want to have here to share Christ with them,

and she has got to have good facilities if we are going to entertain.

The Lord is very good in providing for us, and best we share His goodness with others. See you next week.

bill