Bill's Last PB Letter

 

18 Oct 2020

Dear Phyllis,

I'm still here, but just barely. I am in the hospital. I had been in free fall for the past two week, and Friday I hit the jolly bottom and went through it. For the first time I hit the place where I could do nothing, Pammy and I had been talking about going to the hospital to have things checked, but when she said, “ Lets go”, I said. “No way, I can't do it today”. Four members from our Beulah Church were at our house most of the day. At 2:00 in the afternoon some gal came in to take my blood pressure. I asked, “Who is this?”. Pammy replied, “She is with the ambulance crew who have come to pick you up. The ambulance is waiting outside”. It took two men from the church and the ambulance driver to get me outside 20 feet where they had a wheel chair that extended to a stretcher. I had planned, if we went to the hospital I would have her get a wheel chair to wheel me into the hospital, but when we got there I realized the only way I could have gotten in was on a rolling table. The folk from the church were with us. We hadn't been there 30 minutes when Beverly, the missionary who started the church 30 years ago, told me, “Pammy had to go home to get some more tracts”. She always carries bags full, but now she ran out and had to go get some more.

The main things was to check my blood. By 4:00 I talked to a doctor who told me I had two problems. The blood test showed I had a lot of infection in my blood and there were quite a bit of cancer cells. “Thanks. I've known that for two years. What's new?”. He told me, “We have some very good anti-biopic therapy that can clean up the infection and maybe help the cancer blood cells, but you will have to stay here for 4-7 days”. “No way! I'm going home. I'll take outpatient, but I am not staying here over night. I'll see you in the morning”. I lost that argument. By 5:00 I was in a ward room. In retrospect, it had been a very good day. I had been as comfortable lying on a table in the hospital as I would have been at home. I knew I was in the right place, and the fellowship with the folks from the church had been excellent. Praise the Lord! I was right where He wanted me.

They immediately started a lot of IVs. I didn't like being in a ward room with a lot of old people but shikata ga nai” (nothing you can do about it). All the beds have high guard rails around them so the patients cannot get out. I told a nurse, “I'm going to need a bed pan”. She gave me one for the time when need arose. They have adult pampers for all patients. No thank you. At 2:00 AM a nurse came in to change pampers and give me a new one. “No way! I don't need one”. I had talked a nurse into letting down the guard rail on one side of my bed, but the night nurse got mad at me and put it back up. Great! Now I'm trapped in like a cat in a box that I can't get out of, and no bed pan. My only hope was to climb over the guard rail and look for my bed pan. Ten hours previous that would have been impossible. It was Herculean, but I was able to do it and, praise God, I found the bed pan. Man howdy, did that feel good. Just as I finished a nurse showed up who let the side rail down again. I crawled back in bed and suddenly realized what a miracle that had been. I was wet with sweat, but 10 hours previous that would have been unthinkable. Thursday I was convinced this was a one way down experience from which I would not recover. Now I will be surprised if I am not back on my feet soon.

Yesterday was a remarkable good day. I felt well enough to try to walk to the bathroom. It turned out that the bathroom was the other side of the globe. It was several time zones away. It was like walking from LA to Texas. The bathroom was at the end of a very long hall nearly 70 meters (170 feet) away. With Pammy's help I did get there, but had to sit down to rest half way back. But that was 15 times my best atheletic achievement the day before. I won't say I am 15 times better but I certainly am 3-5 times improved.

I really like this hospital. We can easily see why the Lord kept His hand on us to keep us from going to the one we intended. We planned on going to the top-of-the-line university hospital the other side of Chiang Mai. This is a brand new hospital only 5 km (3 miles) from our house. It is not a new one but a rebuild cheap government hospital that has only been opened 6 months. I am sure it is vastly cheaper and the closest one to our house.

Pammy has been the hero. The fact that I am here can be 98% attributed to her. Last night she was here until 9:00 PM before she went home. I feel like a pin cushion. Last night I had two IVs going, one in each hand and one more waiting to go. At 1:00 AM two nurses came in to pull the IVs. I had my eyes closed most of the time. But one nurse was exceptional. After she pulled the IV needles she rubbed my hand. Then she rubbed my arm, Then she rubbed my stomach, and finally wound up, laying across my body. I thought, “My goodness, I have never seen such an aggressive nurse”. I opened my eyes and was shocked to see it was Pammy. She had gone home but couldn't sleep, so she had come back to see me. After the needle brigade, I was finally able to fall deeply asleep. Some time around 6:00 AM or later a nurse came in to take my blood pressure. Pammy had been there all night and tried to wake me. I DID NOT want to wake up. I knew she was calling, but didn't want to answer. Then she said, “There are some very pretty Christmas lights in the states on You Tube”. I did not want to look at Christmas lights on You Tube, but the weirdest thing happened. I could see a map of the US all lit up with Christmas lights, but it was so bright and blinding that I couldn't sleep. I said, “I can see the lights. Please turn them off”. Pammy was panic struck. She was sure I was dead or dying and was frantically trying to wake the dead. I was awake enough to be empathetic. I knew what she was up against and could get inside her to feel what she was feeling. But I was dead- not literally - but dead tired and I didn't want to wake up. She stated crying. I could have cried too – not because I was dying, but because I wanted her to leave me alone. By then the argument over waking up had grown so intense I was awake enough for the nurse to check my blood pressure. Pammy is clinging to me like a burr on a coyote's tail.

Pammy is really a rare jewel. She is a girl that I didn't want and pleaded with Jesus to keep me from making a mistake and marrying her. I did it simply was an act of obedience that I felt it was the will of God. Our first few years could not have been worse. She did everything possible to be bad. I could have killed her for 1/5 the bad stunts she pulled. But I stayed with it because I thought it was the will of God. She has come around remarkably. The biggest thing that has changed is that I have quit trying to change her to be the kind of person that I think she should be, and just accept her the way God has made her. Spiritually she is one in a million. There may be a few in Russia or China but I doubt that there is another person in America like her.

Financially we are in the best shape we have ever been in. The cost of health care here is a fraction of what it is in the states. But the cost of a fraction of astronomic is still considerably outside our budget. If any one would care to help us cover this medical expense, the way to do it is to contact Wayne Thomas at – thomcat222@comporium.net. For a year or more Wayne has been helping us and has set up the best financial system I have heard of. Somehow he puts money in a bank in the states and it immediately shows up on our Bangkok Bank account in Chiang Mai. I cannot tell you what a life-saver Wayne has been. Any funds that would get to Wayne would be here immediately.

Last week I wrote you that I thought I was at the River. It looks like I was wrong. If things develop like they have in the past three days I am going to have to get a towel, dry my feet, put my cowboy boots back on, and keep following Jesus for a few more kilometers. At this point, and Trump wins the election to save America, it may be possible to get that cup of coffee that I have been looking for and we can share together the wonderful works of God. Thank you for your prayers. He may have answered them.

Your indebted brother in Christ,

bill     

Bill's Death

 Dear Blog Readers,

Bill Cook passed away last Thursday after a struggle with cancer in his eye and complications.  Many of you may already know this through Bill's posting.  This will be the end of the blog for PBLetters.  It's been an eventful 10 years.

Gary, Blog Poster for Bill Cook's PB Letters 

Eye Sight

11 October 2020

Dear Phyllis,

1989 to 1991 was easily the darkest moment of my life. That was the top of the slide into hell. After Rosemary told me that she had given her body to another man and was determined to leave me, I got engaged in the most intense spiritual battle of my life. No one ever tried harder to save their family and marriage than me. For two years it was like trying to pray the brass horns off a billy goat. I begged God, I prayed, I pleaded – all to no avail. Reality turned out to be much worse than my fears. In my worst thought I could not imagine that things could turn out as badly as they did.

When I hit the jolly bottom the Lord spoke a very critical word to me. In 1961 I heard Joe Carroll preach a tremendous message on Ps. 27:4 – One thing have I desired of the Lord; that will I seek after: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life; to behold the beauty of the Lord and esquire in His tabernacle”. I choose that to be my life verse. When I exhausted myself praying for the salvation of my family, the Lord said to me, “You have spent 30 years talking about this verse but you have never practiced it”. Gong. I knew He was right. I decided, “Okay I will quit praying for my family and give myself to practicing one thing – to behold the beauty of the Lord”. I did. For one month. I never saw a cotton picken thing.

That brought up four vital questions. Are you supposed to see something? What are you supposed to see it? How do you see it” And if you don't see anything – why? As I prayed over these four questions, the Lord started at the end to explain it to me. The answer to the question on why I didn't see anything was simple. Poor eye sight. Then the Lord told me He had some medicine to cure poor eyesight. But it wasn't free. It had a price on it. “I counsel you to buy of Me eye salve that you may see” (Rev, 3:18). I told the Lord, “Lord Jesus, if You have some eye salve to cure my blindness, sign me up. What does it cost?” What He told me after that has been some of the most essential tools I ever learned..

The first price Jesus told me was a single eye. He said if I had that my body would be full of light. The opposite of a single eye was not plural but evil. (Lk. 11:34). Realistically speaking, Jesus told me if I wanted to improve my eyesight I would have to cut down on competing interests, Being obsessed over my family salvation was one. I had to let go of that and think more about Jesus. Being consumed by that problem and spending 24/7 thinking about it did not produce faith, On the contrary, it was highly toxic. If we can just let Jesus fill the vision of our thoughts in our mind, it sure helps the eyesight. When your mind is full of junk, it is very difficult to see anything spiritually., and we certainly are not going to see the beauty of the Lord.

The next price that Jesus told me the eye salve was going to cost was discipline. If we don't have a degree of self-discipline we are like a weather vane turning to any direction the wind of personal pleasure is pointing. We make resolutions that we are going to read more of the Bible but in very few cases are those resolution actually met. We have to be a little disciplined in where we let our thoughts go and the most important is that we must be disciplined in keeping the promises we make to Jesus. It is real easy to be slip-shod about going to bed at night and sleeping in the next morning..

In 1966 Malcolm Kromp was the speaker in Karuizawa. He told about a Christian man in his church who had been very much on fire for Christ but cooled off. The man had an accident at work one day and was hospitalized for two weeks. When Pastor Kromp went to see him in the hospital he noticed a stack of girly magazines on his bed stand. He asked, “What is this?” “Oh, of course I don't look at the pictures, but there are some interesting articles that I read.” “This is serious. I'm taking these magazines'. “But pastor I haven't read them yet.” “From now on I am putting you on a diet of Bible only. No books, no magazines, and no TV. Bible only. I will come to see you every day”. The next day when he went to see him he asked, “How is it going?” . “Oh, pastor, this is awful. I am going out of my mind”. Everyday it got worse. He begged, “Pastor please let me read some thing else. The Bible is so boring” Then the forth day when Pastor Krump visited him, he met a whole new man. The brother said, “This morning I thought I was going out of my mind. I picked up my Bible and started to read at random. God spoke to me”. He burst into tears and was wonderfully restored to his joy in the Lord.. Discipline is necessary to stay with it even when it is boring.

The third price Jesus told me the eye salve would cost was TIME. To meet with the Lord frequently cost a great deal of time. We must spend a lot of time waiting in God.

In 1940 Merle Dehaan published to small daily devotional booklet called Our Daily Bread. It has been the most popular Christian publication ever produced. In millions of homes across America there are the monthly copies of Our Daily Bread in the bathroom next to the toilet or on the kitchen table. In tens of million Christian families this is read every day while sitting on the toilet, or at the table having family devotions before a meal. There is no question the contents are excellent. There is always a Bible reading you are supposed to read and then a brief good Christian testimony. I am not opposed to reading Our Daily Bread, but I am intensely opposed to thinking that is daily devotions. Spending time with Jesus is not reading Our Daily Bread while sitting on the toilet. And real family devotions should involve everyone pitching in. I would say a minim,um time of devotions would be 20 minutes.

When God called Moses to meet with Him on the mountain. Moses sat there in silence for six days. It was on the seventh day that God spoke to Moses (Ex. 24: 16). Sometimes we wait a long time and Jesus has nothing to say. An at last we hear His Voice. Sitting in silence is not easy but sometimes it is necessary. Daily devotions is not reading one or two chapters from the Bible and then reciting a wish list. David said it was beholding the beauty of the Lord. Real worship cannot be real unless we are actually seeing His beauty and telling Him how overwhelmed we are with it. It is impossible to be engaged with realty by looking at a blank wall and raving, “Oh, how wonderful You are, Oh how beautiful You are. Oh how I love you” That ain't real. You are looking at a blank wall. But when the Holy Spirit reveals to us something about Jesus, that out pouring of worship is genuine. It is okay to tell your wife you love her even if you don't feel like it. And it is okay to praise Jesus even if your heart is cold, But real worship requires revelation.

These are three things that Jesus told me I would have to pay the price if I wanted better eyesight. That was 29 years ago. Since then I know the answers to all four question I had at that time. Yes I have seen His beauty, but it wasn't what I thought. Jesus isn't beautiful because He has a 48 inch chest. His beauty is not physical but His character. When we see His character we can only say, “You are beautiful”

Jesus said, “God is a Spirit and those who worship Him must worship in the Spirit” (Jn. 4:24). Tragically; much of our worship today is in the soul level.. We have a lot of soulish activity - good music, interesting sermons – but very little activity in the realm of the Spirit. One time I was speaking in a Japanese church. At the end the leader said, “Let's thank Cook sensei for this wonderful message”. And they all applauded. I stood up and said. “I appreciate your thanks, but if you can applaud that means you have only been entertained. If God had spoken to you your would walk out in tears and silent.”

I am not David and I am not spending my life in His temple beholding the beauty 0f the Lord, but I have seen some of it, and all I can say is that He is wonderful. Thank you Lord.

                                               bill

 

At the River

10- October 2020

Dear Phyllis,

I may be at the River, If this is it, I have only stuck my toe in the water The water is surprisingly warm. It is just about body temperature. I have thought I have been at the River a couple times in the past, but it turned out to be a mud puddle or a wet towel someone left on the floor.

When I was in the Air force before going overseas I had to go through a survival school at Stead AFB, Reno, Nevada. Part of that course was to do a survival trek through the Sierra Nevada mountains up near Lake Tahoe. They took us up in the mountains and we had to do a seven day, 50 mile trek, with two days rations of food and a 30 lbs pack on our back. There were seven of us in my group and we took turns leading each day. The day that it was my turn to lead was easily the most critical leg. We had to cross the Truckee River and there was only one place where there was a ford shallow enough to wade across. I had a topographical map that showed elevation in rings. We had two instructors with us in case we got in a life or death situation, but they would let us get lost, and if you did, you had a real big problem on your hands. I did reasonably well all day following the map and at 5:00 that evening we came out in a clearing on top of a low hill looking straight down on the Truckee. I checked my map and was terrified that there was a mountain on ,my left side where a valley was supposed to be and a valley on the right where there was supposed to be a hill. Panic time! I had a complete mental blank. As I stood there in terror wondering what to do, one of the instructors came up to me and said. “Congratulation, lieutenant. You have done an excellent job. You're right exactly where you are supposed to be”. What a relief!

I don't know if this is the crossing of the River where I am supposed to be or not. I don't know if this is a shallow ford or deep water where you have to swim. But I do know that sooner or later I must come to that River and make my way across it. But however I get across that River the fact that it is the border to the Celestial City can only be joyous news..

Seven years ago the wife of a close friend called saying her husband and please come immediately. John was past conversation. He was lying there groaning in death throes. I walked up and said, “Congratulations, John. You are number one in line”. He wasn't talking but his mind was still clear. He didn't like my remark. His eyes just flashed in terror. He didn't want to die. It turned out that he lasted forever. The next afternoon I said to him, “John, the deep part is behind you. The water gets shallower from here on in”. That evening at 11:00 his boyhood buddy was standing there with me and I asked Dan, “What are you going to do? I'm going home”. Dan replied, “We have been friends all our lives. I am not going to leave him now.” The next morning Noi called to tell us that John had passed away at 2:30. I asked Dan, “How did it go at the end?” He said, “John was just lying there peacefully resting. Gradually his breathing began to slow down. It got slower and slower and finally John set his feet on dry ground on the other side The pastor asked me to pray at the funeral. My heart was bursting with joy, John had been walking towards that City all his life. Now he was there. It can't get any better than that.

I really don't know if I am at the River or not. If we were going to take bets here, I believe the odds would be on the side that this is not something from which I will recover. Pammy is making plans for my funeral. She doesn't think I will make it to Christmas. I think she is wrong. About two weeks ago my energy level went into free fall; First I was operating on 50% energy, then 20%, then it went to zero. I feel fine. I am in good health, but I just don't have the energy to do anything. Hyper overexertion is not a real good experience. That is when you overshoot the mark and put out more energy than you have to spend. You don't pay the price when you stop, but ten seconds later. All you can do is lie on the ground or your bed and writhe in pain. Your heart is racing like crazy. You are gasping for breath, and your whole body is screaming in pain. This will last for 2 or 3 minutes until your body slows down and after 10 minutes you are back to normal. I am locked in a body where the will is there to do things, but the body flat refuses to cooperate. The bar for hyper overexertion is set extremely low. If I stay inside the envelope there is no problem, but if I cross that line it gets real expensively as there is a dear price to pay, I can still walk up stairs but when I do I have to lay down immediately panting for breath. I had very similar problem five years ago where I became a complete invalid. I went to two doctors, both of whom told me I was the healthiest man in Thailand. One doctor told me maybe I should see a psychiatrist. I have a friend who is a psychiatrist and she said she never heard anything like that. Before, I just let my body do what it wanted. That was to stay in bed 20 hours a day. This time I am fighting it and try to push the limit every day with exercise. I got up to where I walked 400 meters, but that took an hour and three 20 minutes breaks in between.

The biggest thing that is different this time is that supposedly I have cancer in my body. I am so healthy I can't imagine how I can die of this. All my organs are excellent, but, man howdy. there is no fuel in the tank. Pammy took me to school this morning. I flat could not ride my bike that far. I was able to sit and talk to the children for 40 minutes, but then I had to lay down and rest for an hour.

I don't know. I don't think this is the River, but if it is, this is the most wonderful place I have ever been. The other day I read in Isiah three times where it said “Fear not”. I laughed and said, “That doesn't apply to me”. It has been so long since fear has crossed my mind that I have forgotten what it feels like. Fear is so far from me that it isn't in my lexicon. The room where I am now is totally aseptic of fear. There is not a molecule of fear in this room. My goodness, what is there to be afraid of? Jesus has His arms around me and NOTHING can get to me without going through Jesus. It is like being in a 747 and be afraid the plane won't hold you. If the plane can hold 200 or 300 other passengers it is not likely that my seat is going to fall out. Sit back and relax.

Praying for healing is almost a dirty word now. To pray for healing is to say “I want...” The only time Jesus came close to saying those words was in the garden when He prayed three time, “Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me”. But He always added, “Nevertheless, not My will but Thy will be done”. The only scenario where I would say “I want” is if Jesus would lay two things on the Table and ask me which one I wanted. My answer then is simple - “Lord, I want Your will. I want You to make the call”.

There are only two prayers that totally dominate my prayers. Number one; I beg God that Jesus is glorified in my body. I don't care how, only that Jesus is honored in my body. And secondly I beg Jesus to take the wheel' I don't want to touch the wheel. I don't want to make the calls for my life. Please, Lord, keep my cotton picken hands off that wheel. Let me sit in the back seat. Wherever He drives this car is exactly the place I want to go, If He heals me and keeps me here for another 15 years – fine. If I die in agony, that is His call. I have had a request that I wanted to shed my blood for Jesus, but that honor is reserved for class A Christians. Those crowns are not passed out to also-runners. I didn't want to be carried to the sky on a flowery bed of ease, while others fought to win the prize and sailed through bloody seas. But if Jesus sends a limousine to pick me up, okay. I don't care if it is a limousine, a Honda bike, a mule, an inner tube, or I just plain have to swim to get across. I have been in deep water before and Jesus has always kept His hand under my chin, lest I loose breath. It isn't likely that He will let me drown this time.

I don't know. Maybe this is the wrong crossing. If it is, I am going to have to get a towel, dry my feet, put my cowboy boots back on, and trudge on for another 20 or 30 km. But wherever I am the air sure smells good.

Thank You Jesus,

                          bill

 

Relationship

 

13 September 2020

Dear Phyllis,

The Word of God does not come to me in long well composed literary compositions, but I short emotion-packed burst of light. The other morning I opened my Bible to Isiah 42 and read, “Behold My Servant...in whom My soul delighteth...” and I burst into tears. It seemed this was the most beautiful thing I had ever read. There is nothing in heaven or earth more beautiful that the relationship between the Father and the Son. If we should never see anything else about the character of God, just a glimpse of this relationship is enough to satisfy our souls forever. In a world where everything is madness, we despair for sanity. It is like being in a category 5 hurricane where everything outside is a howling wind. Trees blowing over and sheets of metal flying by like shells from a bazooka, and then suddenly be transferred to a peaceful sunset on a tropical beech. Oh the joy of looking at that beautiful relationship.

There are only three times recorded in scripture where there was an audible Voice from heaven. The first time was at Jesus baptism when the Father broke His silence to audible say, “Thou are my beloved Son in whom My soul is well pleased” (Mk. 1:11). The second time was when God interrupted Peter on the mount and said, “This is beloved My Son – hear Him!” (Mk. 9:7). It seemed God was disturbed with Peter when he put Him in a category with Moses and Elijah. (“You don't put Him in with Moses and Elijah. THIS IS MY SON! Hear Him”) Is that clear? The third time was when Jesus said, “Now is My soul troubled. What shall I say? Save Me from this hour? But for this cause came I unto this hour. Father glorify Thy Name. Then came Voice from heaven saying, 'I have both glorified and will glorify it again'.” (Jn. 12:27,28). How proud the Father was of His Son. Adam was the first man that God created and he was a dismal failure. Jesus was the last Adam. He came to restored the damage Adam had created. Jesus was spectacular. He suffered terrific temptation – infinitely worst that what Adam faced – and Jesus won. Oh, the Father was proud of Him.

In 1988 Dave was in high school in Colorado and I had a brief trip for a month to the states. Dave came down from Colorado to meet me at my sisters home in LA. From there we planned to drive back to Colorado. Dave was just 16 and bought his first car, an Audi (he was rich) and we had to get new tires for it. While we were in a garage getting the tires put on, the mechanic was talking to Dave and asked him, “Who is that fellow with you?” Dave replied, “That is my dad. We are planning to travel together”. The mechanic said, “That is sort of a bummer isn't it?”. Dave came back, “No, I'm really looking forward to it. I want to travel with him”. The mechanic put his tools down and came over to shake hands with me. He looked at me and said, “Sir, that is the greatest thing I have ever heard in my life”. I agreed with him and thought that was the greatest thing I had ever heard in my life. A son who was devoted to his father and preferred his father above his best friends. That relationship is beautiful.

Robertson and Muriel McQuilkin were the most devoted couple I ever met. Muriel loved her husband with a passion and Robertson was an icon in loving his wife. One time I said to him, “Sometimes I get the impression you are more concerned about the noble name of McQuilkin than you are the glory of God”. Robertson stunned me with his reply. He said, “Yes, I can understand that. You would get that impression from my wife. Thank you for mentioning that to me and I will speak to her about it”. I thought, “He's right. I got it from Muriel. She just bristled whenever anyone said anything negative about her husband”. I admired them both. And when she got older and contracted Alzheimer, Robertson stepped down form being the president of Columbia Bible College and a popular international conference speaker to staying at home to care for his wife. In an interview he was asked why he would resign from such a prestigious position to being a care-giver for his wife. Robertson replied, “She spent her life taking care of me. It is the least I can do is to spend a few years now taking care of her”. Oh they were beautiful.

But the relationship between the Father and the Son is the most wonderful thing I have ever seen. What a joy just to look at it. But there is a third figure that appears here. It is so beyond comprehension that I am reluctant to mention it. There is nothing in human print like John 17. There simply is no bottom to it, It is further beyond our comprehension than the edge of the universe is from our telescopes. In Jesus prayer there are two main objects – the Lord's people and the world. In verse 6 Jesus said, “I have manifested Thy Name to the men which Thou gavest Me out of the world. Thine they were and Thou gavest them Me”. In verses 9 and 10 Jesus prayed, “I pray for them: I pray not for the world but for them which Thou hast given Me: for they are Thine: And all Mine are Thine; and Thine are Mine: and I am glorified in them”. If this doesn't make much sense to you, it doesn't to me either, but there is a relationship here that is unthinkable. Throughout His entire prayer Jesus uses this language in praying for His own people. In His prayer in verses 20 and 21 Jesus prays for all Christians in saying, “Neither do I pray for these alone (first generation, 1^st century Christians), but for them also which shall believe on Me through their word (that's us folks) that they all may be one, as Thou, Father, art in Me, and I in Thee; That they also may be one in Us.” My goodness, this means that somehow the Lord has taken us into the godhead. How is this possible? Through marriage. By being married to Jesus the Father Has taken us into His family.

The other day I was talking with a brother who hasn't been saved that long, He told me, “Sometimes when I read the Bible it is like God has left heaven to step down to be with me”. Then he walked over put his arms around me and went on, “Sometimes I feel like He is holding me in His arms. When He does I break out in goose bumps all over”. I shouted, “Yes, YEs, YES! That is exactly the way the system is supposed to work!” Then I challenged him, “I doubt that you can find 1 Christian in 20 that has any idea what you are talking about”. This is the ultimate relationship. Christians are the Bride of Christ. Our relationship, on paper, is by marriage; but the day is coming when the Bride will be joined with her Husband in a relationship that we can only imagine by looking at what a Christian marriage should be in practice. Robertson and Muriel McQuilkin came close. If we can't experience it now it is a blessing just to look at the relationship that exists between the Father and His Son.

The other morning Jesus was sharing some jewels with me in His jewel box. I reached in to take one out to handle it, and I was terribly embarrassed. My hands were filthy. They were covered with mud, grease, and slime. Any jewel I touched defiled it by getting my dirty hands on it. I asked Jesus what I should do. He gave me a very good idea. He said, “Keep your hands in your pocket and just look and admire these jewel without handling them.” That is the best way to handle spiritual truth. Oh, His truth is wonderful, but when we take it out and try to handle it with human wisdom and understanding, the best we can do is defile it.

Gomen, Phyllis, I wish I could do a better job in sharing with you some of the wonderful things Jesus is sharing with me morning by morning, but these things cannot be expressed in words. It is like good ice cream. It can only be eaten.

Otherwise it has been a good week and I feel considerable stronger than I was last week. I have no idea what Jesus has in mind for me for the next few years, but whatever it is I know it is good.

Have a good one, bill

God Opens the Door

6 September 2020

Dear Phyllis,

How I wish you were here with me. This has got to be the best time of my life. Jesus has opened the door and taken me into a room to show me things I have never seen before. The problem is that the things He has shown me are indescribable. That means you can't describe them. I believe most spiritual truth is that way. On rare occasions the Lord has revealed some of His glory to a few prophets, They did their best to describe to us what they saw and their writings are ridiculous. The most notable are Ezekiel and John. How can you describe a rainbow to a blind man? This is what we are up against.

In a poor attempt to share with you what Jesus has been doing for me; it is an overwhelming sense of His presence, and He has made spiritual truth in the Bible so real it is stronger than actually being there. One intelligible thought Jesus gave me is: Forget supper. Supper can wait. Would someone please tell Martha to turn off the stove and join her sister Mary in the other room sitting at Jesus feet listening to what He has to say. I don't know what He is talking about but whatever it is is worthwhile hearing. We can eat later.

We all know that story (Lk. 10:38-42). We are what we are by nature (DNA). Our temperaments are all different. There are the Tim LaHaye Four Basic Temperaments – choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic. I have known about this for many years and found it quite helpful. There is another grouping of those who are job oriented and others who are people oriented. We need them both. Martha obviously is choleric and Mary is a real melancholic. Martha is job oriented and Mary is a people person. If we didn't have Marthas in the world the job would never get done. Mary, frankly, is (was) irresponsible. In one sense Martha was right in that Mary should have been in the kitchen helping get supper ready. But Jesus was clear which one He sided with. He said “Mary has chosen the better part that will not be taken from her”.

My times with Jesus are not long, but reasonably consistent. He comes to fellowship with me in the morning. It grieves me that our time is so short - how I wish it would last all day. But afternoons and evenings belong to You Tube. Oh, when Jesus is there the Word just comes alive. Much of the rest of the day is thinking about what an unbelievable mess America is in. I have spent an enormous amount of time in Revelation recently. I am struck by the contrast in the two different scenes. Most of Revelation is talking about what is going to happen to the earth. There are the Seven Seals, Seven Trumpets, and Seven Bowels. All of this is related to the earth. But at the same time, John has given us a view of what is happening in heaven. With the exception of a couple verses that says the was a war in heaven and the devil was cast out (Rev. 12:7-12), nearly everything else is either worship or celebration. There is not a sour or pessimistic note sounded in heaven. As we watch America being burned to the ground, looking at heaven should give us a fresh breath of air.

I am greatly intrigued by the life of David. Two books of the OT are devoted to describing his life. 1 Samuel is pre-king, and 2 Samuel tell us about his life as king. Along with this we have the Psalms, Psalms has got to be one of the most difficult books in the Bible. David wrote 1/3 of the Psalms. Peter tells us that, at times, the prophets of the OT didn't know what they were writing about other than they were being moved by the Holy Spirit. I'm sure Isiah had no idea what he was writing about when he wrote Isa. 53. Likewise I doubt that David had any idea what he was writing when he wrote Ps. 22. But much of it was his own personal experience. So much of his psalms are about his troubles and enemies that I find it difficult to place this at the time he was king. If this is true that means that many psalms were written his first 30 years when he was being chased from pillar to post by Saul. I believe we can safely say the Lord was with David during both periods. He was with David when he was hiding in a cave and he was with David when he sat on the throne. Which was better? The environment and situation were much different, but the Lord was there during both times.

Our relationship of being with Jesus, or Jesus being with us, is abundantly clear in Scripture. This is the unnoticed, unsung, major messages in the Bible. His presence with us is almost the central point in both the Old Covenant and the New Covenant. Both the book of Ezekiel and Revelation end on the note of God dwelling with His people (Ez. 48:35; Rev. 21:3; 22:3,4). That is the ultimate. It can't get any better than that.

But if Jesus is with us just as He was with David in the cave, why do we live such distant lives from Him. I love the song Be Thou My Vision - “Be Thou my best thoughts by day or by night; waking or sleeping Thy presence my light” Oh how I wish that was true. The trash and nonsense that fills my mind most of the time is outrageous. How I wish all that distraction was eliminated leaving only Jesus to be admired and praised.

Samuel Rutherford said, “Jesus shows me meat but will not allow me to eat it. He holds out an apple, but when I stretch forth my arm to take it He pulls it back. He tells me to seek His face but when I do He hides so I cannot find Him.” I know exactly what he is talking about. Much of that is my experience. There is so much I see in scripture, and yet I am unable to get it from the page into my mouth. But frustration is not a bad thing. Pangs of hunger only increases the desire to eat. Being filled with hunger for Jesus is a sign of a healthy believer. Dusty Bibles are a deadly sign. fact that I can see somethings is an encouragement that reality actually does exist

How we long for the day when we shall see Him as He is, but that should not distract us from the fact that He has come and He does live in our hearts today. In that sense we do have a greater privilege that David knew when the Lord was with him in the cave.

I have been badly down for the past month. Three months ago I was walking 3 km a day. Today it is doubtful that I walk 300 meters a day. Three months ago I felt I was running at at close to 100%. At present I am running at 5-10%. I have lost a great deal of weight. My pants are now about 4 inches too big. The sores on my cheeks have gotten noticeably worse. I have had one on both sides of my face for over four years but the one on the right cheek never bled. It is bleeding now. The sore on my left cheeks has grown considerably and a great deal of fluid is draining every day. But apart from lack of energy I feel fine and have absolutely no discomfort. I decided to go to the hospital yesterday, but when I got there I noticed it was a mandatory face mask place and got so mad I didn't go in. I get pretty emotional about face masks. There hasn't been one case of covid in Chiang Mai in months and yet they act like it is the bubonic plague and we will all die if we don't wear face masks. This has absolutely nothing to do with public health safety. In the states it is black and white political. Oddly enough my health is so far down the list of prayer concerns that it is almost off the list. I honestly can't pray with deep concern for healing but plead with the Father daily that Jesus might be glorified in my body. I have told Him that this body is His and He can do anything He wants with it. I also assure Him that I know He has made me the care-taker of it and I am responsible how I protect and treat it. I am so little concerned about my health that I really don't care which way it goes. Let Jesus make that call. Whatever He wants is fine with me. Only that Jesus be honored in my body.

Thank you for praying, bill

 

Revelation

30 August 2020

Dear Phyllis,

There is so much on my heart this morning I scarce know what to say. Oh, I saw Jesus this morning; He was wonderful. No I didn't see a vision, but He sure spoke to me in my devotions. What can I say?

Among other things I picked up my Bible and just glanced at Revelation. I was immediately struck by the first five words - “The revelation of Jesus Christ”. It is?! I remember talking with a sister telling her that when we read Revelation we should not look at the seven Seals, the seven Trumpets, and the seven Bowels, but look at the revelation of Jesus Christ. That sounds like good advice but I have been far more interested in the three Sevens than what little we see of Jesus.

To begin with, we might say that John wrote two books of revelation. The first one was his gospels. There are four records of the life of Christ and John is radically different, The first three are the synoptic gospels which tell the story of the life of Christ. John goes at it from a totally different approach. More than any other place, John tells about the heart of Christ. John was clearly Jesus' favorite. He was the closest to Jesus. He was the last one at the Cross and the first one to believe after the resurrection. John had an intuition that the others didn't have. When Jesus appeared at the lake after the resurrection no one knew who it was, but John said to Peter, “It is the Lord”. At the Last Supper we read twice that John was leaning on Jesus bosom (Jn. 13:23,25). Culturally, as Americans, that is a pretty difficult one for us to handle. That smacks of sexual perversion. Russia is a kissing country. It was a little difficult for me to handle to see two men kissing in church, but that is the culture. There is nothing wrong with it. (I mean a real smack right on the lips.) Vietnam is a hand holding country. So is Russia. The father of one of our Bible workers had been a soldier during the Vietnam war. He went with a team to Saigon and met General Tha Dam. The brother said he thought it was strange to see these two men holding hands while walking down the road. In Jesus' day in Israel it was a sign of closeness to lean on the breast of another man. (Not today in America.)

That is one view of Jesus in John's gospel but John wasn't leaning on Jesus' breast in Revelation. When he saw Him he fell at His feet as one dead (Rev. 1:17). In His prayer in John 17 Jesus prayed, “Father glorify Me with Thine own self with the glory which I had with Thee before the world was” (Jn. 17:5). Obviously the Father has done that. The revelation of Jesus that we see in John's last book is; “all the kindred of the earth shall wail because of Him” (Rev. 1:7).

I thought, my goodness we have come along ways since the Garden when God came down in the cool of the evening to fellowship with His created being. What a radical change and astounding history of humanity for 6,000 years. We know next to nothing about the earth before the Fall, but what has happened since then isn't pretty. Eve's first son killed his brother and men have been killing each other ever since. Not long after the Flood God chose a man and started a new race of people that He called His chosen people, Israel. That didn't work out too well. After a couple thousand years Jesus came to His own people, but the rulers said, “We will not have this Man rule over us. Kill Him!” Then God began to call out an unusual species of humanity that is called, the Body of Christ. Jesus was here for 33 years and then went back to heaven. But He sent His Spirit back to live in the hearts of His people and be a witness. The Body of Christ has been the representative of Jesus for the past 2,000 years. But they haven't done too well either. I admire the Lord in being so honest with us in giving us such a frank view of the Church. I believe the position that the Seven Churches are a history of the nature of the Church for this dispensation. It started off hot but lost her first love. Then there was horrific persecution; the fall into idolatry, false teaching, immorality, deadness, and the final church. Laodicea. That one is affluent but makes Jesus sick to His stomach. But Jesus has been with it all. Now let's look at the revelation of Jesus.

The first thing that John saw after he was caught up to heaven was there as a Throne. Perhaps more than anything else that is the one thing the devil doesn't want us to know. The center of the universe is not science or technology. The number one message today is that there is no law and everyone can make his own law as he wants. More than that, we are seeing something unbelievable in the streets of America where thousand are trying to destroy civil law. There is a considerable segment of the US population that thinks anarchy is a good idea for political advantage We have come to an utterly astounding place in politics where the lines are drawn at an unbelievable position. Thank God there is a Throne in heaven and there is One Who is seated on that Throne. If there is anything that should give us stability and hope it is this revelation of Jesus Christ. More than that we see that there is a Book with seven Seals. This is the future history of the earth in advance. This may not tell us much about Jesus, but it does give us a clear view of His plans for the final act. Man howdy, it is going to be a rough showdown.

When Jesus went back to heaven the main message that He left with His people was that He was coming back for them. He told the disciples, “I am going away, but I am coming back for you so you can be with Me forever.” (Jn. 14:1-3). When He went up, two angels told them, “This same Jesus is coming back as you have seen Him go” (Acts 1:11). And it has been the central posture of the Church since then to look for the coming of Christ (1 Cor. 1:7).

The other night, Pammy asked me, “When is the rapture?”. I told her, “I don't know and I don't care.”. There are at least four positions on the rapture – pre-trib, post-trib, mid-trib, and split or partial rapture. For the past century the basic position of most conservative Christians, has been to hold to the pre-trib rapture position. At the present I don't like it as it is an easy out position. I see a tremendous amount in the Scripture that brings this into serious question. What are you going to do with 1 Cor. 15:15 that clearly says, “At the last trump the dead in Christ shall arise”? If we believe the Bible that is a tough one to explain.

But one position I will not abandon is the immanent return of Christ. If Jesus told us anything He said that it would be at the least expected time. I don't think the appearance of the anti-christ and the 3^rd Temple is the blessed hope. I find it impossible to believe that Paul taught anything other than that Jesus could come at any moment. Obviously this was a problem in Thessalanaica. Paul had taught them that Jesus was coming back and then some Christian died. The believers questioned, “What is going to happen to them?”. To answer that question Paul wrote 1^st Thessalonians and told them, “Don't worry. The dead in Christ will rise first and then we which remain will be caught up in the sky to be with them.” (1 Thes. 4:13-17).

There are two radically different views of Jesus return. Jesus said and Paul said He would come as a thief in the night (Lk. 12:38,39; 1 Thes. 5:2). And Jesus told Chaiaphas that he would see His return (Mt. 26:64); and Rev, 1:7 confirms this. Can you explain that? I can't. The last word that Jesus ever spoke was “Behold I come quickly” (Rev. 22:7). Two thousand years doesn't look like quickly to me. More than that I believe this has been the consistent witness of the Holy Spirit in the heart of every Christian for 2,000 years. With the exception of a few hard core post-trib Christians, who are looking for the anti-christ, every on-fire Christian I have ever met in my life believed firmly that Jesus would come in their life-time. They were wrong. Is Jesus lying?

I have never been more firmly convinced that every word in the Bible is true. Every word that came form the mouth of Jesus is factual. And the witness of the Holy Spirit in the heart of every Christian is real. How can you explain it? I can't and I am not interested in trying. I am content to allow the Father to explain to us His own spiritual mysteries. But I know it is true.

Oh, praise God, He is coming soon! bill

 

Tell Them It's Too Late

23 August 2020

Dear Phyllis,

Last week we had a very fine couple stay with us. The brother has an extended ministry reaching 250,000 people on line. He was impressed with my testimony that I am in my mid 80s and still serving the Lord. He asked, “What word of encouragement do you have for elderly people who want to serve Jesus?” I was surprised by my answer. When he asked me that question I fired back, “Tell them it's too late. You can't recover a misspent life”. The more I thought about it I realized my answer was correct and from the Holy Spirit. What can you say to elderly people near the end of the road? There is only one word of encouragement – mercy. There is such a thing as death-bed-confession. You can get saved the last 15 minutes of your life, but I wouldn't count on it. To start with there is a very good chance you may not get that chance. You could get killed before you are ready. And secondly the statistics of people who make a death-bed-confession but then recover, and go on serving the Lord is extremely low. Most of those who recover revert to their former life style. That is not very encouraging salvation.

But the one thing you can say to elderly people with absolute assurance is that you will face judgment. There is no dodging that. There are two Judgment Thrones. Paul warned us, “We shall all stand before the Judgment Throne of Christ” (Rom. 14:10). All Christians will face that. And there is the Great White Throne Judgment (Rev. 20:11-15). That is for all the unsaved. The happy salvation people like to tell us that the Judgment Throne of Christ is not for accountability but this is called the Bema Seat where rewards are passed out. Maybe. But I am not sure that that is the way the system works.

It is amazing that people don't believe spiritual laws exist. AW Tozer commented that most Christians sow to the flesh for six days and then come to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. Lots of luck. A few years ago I took two fine boys over to Laos. Without asking me they ordered three motor bikes. They really were terrific fellows but neither one had ever ridden a motor bike. I took them for a ride up along side the Mekong River. It was a dirt road and terribly dusty. On the way up I took the lead but thought that was not too Christian; so on the way back I let them lead and I ate the dust. I was thinking they really are going too fast on this dirt road. Four hundred years ago Isaac Newton explained the law of momentum that moving objects tend to go in a straight line. Steve got in an argument with Newton and tried to go around a corner at too high a speed. Newton won. Steve splattered on the road. Most of us live within the parameters of natural laws, but the majority feels that spiritual laws don't apply and they can defy them without bad consequences. You might spend most of your life sowing to the flesh and weekly praying for a crop failure, but at the end of your life looking back, the score will be pretty much the way you played the game. You might cram for a final exam at the end of a semester, but no one will have the opportunity to relive a life that was ill spent.

There is a positive aspect to the law of sowing and reaping (Gal. 6:7). Several years ago my dear friend, John Cathcart, was getting ready to go home for a furlough after a very intense, five year term of service. I said to him, “John, I have a word from God for you. You have spent five years intensely sowing good seed. The law of God is that there will be a harvest. You will reap for what you have sowed.”

Marlene Blough was a serious Christian from her early years. She never swerved from the path. She was elected the school queen for Denver North High, a school with 5,000 students. And she was elected the beauty queen. The reward for that was that she would lead the prom at the annual school dance. Most girls would kill for that honor. Marlene said, “I'm sorry, I am a Christian and I don't go to dances. I won't go to the prom”. When she was in high school she wouldn't have anything to do with any boy who wasn't a serious Christian, and when she was in Bible school she would not consider any boy who wasn't committed to the mission field. What she sowed in her early years she abundantly reaped with an amazing life as Mrs. Ron Blough. She was a legend in Hokkaido.

Thank God there is a Bema seat where rewards are passed out. But we must not misrepresent it. You cannot dismiss the fact that there is such a thing as accountability. That is the main point of the Parable of the Talents. Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven is like a man who was traveling to a far country and passed out talents to his servants – “everyone according to his ability” (Mt. 25:14-30). One got five, one got two, and another fellow got just one. The main point of this parable was there was a day of reconnecting. There was a day when they had to come forward to show how they made out. The first two fellows did pretty well. They produced good results according to their God-given ability. But the guy who got just one hid it so it wouldn't get lost. He brought it back to his master an said, “Here is Your talent back”. That wasn't what he was supposed to do with it. There was responsibility that came with the talent that God had given him. Hiding it wasn't a very good idea. He didn't do too well at the Bema Seat. He was called wicked and slothful. His talent was taken away for him and he was cast out into outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.

This is a really grim word. Unused talents wind up being lost talents. If God has given us a talent – even if it is only one – it might be a good idea to at least use it. If not it might be taken away. Watchman Nee said, “The greatest poverty of the church is that the one talent Christians aren't using what they have”. He is probably right. What we need is not more highly gifted Christians; our greatest need is for milk-toast Christians to use what they have.

I read the story of a pastor in Portland that saw the world was the field and Christians should be the workers (Mt. 13:38) One day a lady in his church called him and said, “Pastor, could you come over? I was talking to my neighbor and she wants to get saved”. “Yes, I will be there immediately.” But half way there the Lord told him to go back. He called the lady and told her that Jesus had blocked him from going. “But, Pastor, my friend wants to get saved.” “You lead her to Christ.” “I can't. I don't know how.” “You got saved. Tell her how you did it.” An hour later there was a knock on his study door. Two weeping women were there to tell him that the friend just got saved. That is the way that the system is supposed to work.

I was shocked by my own answer when the brother asked me what word of encouragement I had for elderly people who want to serve Jesus, and I fired back, “Tell them it is too late”. Thank God there is mercy and a person can get saved and forgiven at the last breath of their life. And there are people who have blown 40 years of the life but spend the last 10 wide out for Jesus. There is no restraint. You can give your life to Jesus and give Him all at any time in life. Some people have some very outstanding testimonies at the end of a misspent life. But there is accountability. There is no recovery for eggs dumped on the floor and you can't go back and live your life all over again. What is said was true. “Tell them it is too late.” You can't recover that which you have trashed.

But if we have one meter left, let's do what we can with it and maximize every opportunity we have to let our flag fly as high as possible and give our tattered remains to Jesus and see what He can do with with what is left in our glass.

Oh Father, be merciful. Lord forgive us. But, Lord, please take what little we have left and let Jesus be honored in the remains of our lives. For Jesus sake.

                                                         bill

 

Moving at the Speed of Light

16 August 2020

Dear Phyllis,

Praise the Lord, the screws are getting tighter. Last week Tucker Ca.rlson observed, “America is a radically different country than it was seven months ago”. Man howdy, that is true! A year ago, if you had predicted that America would be what it is today everyone would have said, “Impossible”. It is not only America, but world wide. The entire world got slam shut down. America, Thailand, the Philippines, Pakistan; you name it, the entire world got shut down. Today Covid-19 is not a health issue but a black and white political fight. Trump wants to open the country up and the bad guys are determined that the country stay closed to destroy the economy. The arguments are ridiculous. A good doctor posted an article on line why the schools should be opened and his message got taken down.

Last week I saw a paper written by John MacArthur and an interview by Tucker Carlson, where he has thrown down the gauntlet and defied California law to have church service and sing. He said, “I will not allow a civil government tell me who, when, where, and how to worship Jesus Christ”. The California governor put out a mandate restricting how many could attend church and singing was illegal. UNBELIEVABLE! There is a gym owner in New Jersey who is in jail. First they told him he couldn't open his gym – he did it anyway. Then the authorities locked his doors – he tool the doors off. Then they threw him in jail. It will be interesting to see if MacArthur goes to jail.

Matt. 24, Mark 13, and Luke 21 all cover the same issue – what will it be like at the end of the world. We all know what Jesus answered about earthquakes, natural disasters, wars and rumors of wars. false prophets, the fig tree, etc. But listed in there is a warning of intense persecution. Revelation 6 is as clear and any passage in Scripture about the end of the world. In heaven there is a Book with Seven Seals. The first four Seals are four horses; white, red, black, pale. Volumes have been written about these four horses. The 5^th Seal is souls under the alter. These are millions who have been martyred. Persecution is one of the most dominate features of end times. There is no question but what Rev. 6:12-17 and Rev. 16:17-21 are the same event. The only difference between chapter 6 and 16 is that the 7^th Bowel, in 16:17-21 is before Jesus gets off His horse and the 6^th Seal, in 6:12-17, is after Jesus gets off His horse. In chapter 16 men curse and blaspheme God, and in chapter 6 men are terrified and calling on mountains an rocks to hide them from the Lamb. The answer to the question about the 7^th Seal is that the 6^th Seal tells us the end of the story, and the 7^th Seal goes back to the beginning telling us how we got there.

We all know the big picture. We all know that the world will go to globalism and a super man will take over – the anti-christ. He will have a seven year rule; and, man howdy, will there be persecution. The world will have the 666. Without that you are economically shut out. Then there will be Armageddon in Israel. Clearly that is Ezek. 38 and 39. We have a better picture of that in Rev. 19:11-21. That is when Jesus gets on His horse and comes back to clean out the anti-christ, and saves Israel. That is the time I want a horse to ride with Jesus.

There is nothing I have written here that is news. I have written about this many times. Anyone who knows the ABC of eschatology is familiar with all I have written. But if the world is shutting down and the sun is setting on humanity, what is such good news about that? Everyone is terrified by all these horrible things coming. It all depends which side of the field you are sitting on. The earth side is grim. Mens hearts failing for fear. But on the other side of the field, in heaven, they are celebrating. (Rev. 14, 15) More than that Jesus told us, “When these things come to pass, then LOOK UP, and lift up your heads, for your redemption draweth nigh. … When ye see these things come to pass, know ye that the Kingdom of God is nigh at hand. Verily I say unto you, this generation shall not pass away until all be fulfilled” (Lk. 21:28,31,32). Maybe, if they are having a celebration in heaven we should start to cheer down here.

Let's be serious; what we are seeing now is only the beginning of the final act. The party is going to get rough. Like it is going to get real rough. John Heggie said that the carona virus is the dress rehearsal for 666. He may be right. This isn't the real thing, but it sure is a good practice. Who would have believed that the entire world could be so dramatically transformed is such a short time?

What is going to happen to America? It doesn't take a prophet or a political annalist to observe that an unbelievable transformation has already taken place in America. Sixty years ago who would believe that today we have nationally sponsored the slaughter of 40,000,000 unborn babies. The governor of Virginia is a medical doctor. He openly declared that we should have healthy babies, after they are born, resuscitated and made comfortable, that the doctor should be able to have an intelligent discussion with the mother whether or not to keep him or destroy him. Fifty years ago that man would have lost his medical license immediately and probably put in jail. Today he is elected governor of Virginia. Hillary Clinton is blatantly one of the most criminal women in America and she got the majority of the votes to be president. The media has abandoned all pretext of being honest news and has openly demonstrated that they are the propaganda wing of the devils political program. Cities in America are on fire and the majority of the residence have elected some of the most unimaginably bad people to be in charge. What we are seeing today in unimaginable. It defies sanity. But here we are.

How did we get here? I believe the devil's first move was to take over the seminaries with bad theologians who have raised several generations of liberal pastors. I wonder if John Wesley, Johnathon Edwards, Charles finny would have believed that the denomination and schools that they founded would be ordaining lesbians and sodomites for pastors, sponsor same sex marriages and be cheer leader for some of the most radical social positions. And the amazing thing is that conservative, biblical pastors are intimidated to speak out against it. Then the devil took over the universities and the public education system in America. Today those institutions are dominated by some of the most radical, anti-traditional American advocates going. Small wonder that tens of thousands of crazy young people are looting and burning down our cities. And there is a strong national movement to defund police. Great ideal. If we can get rid of the police we can eliminate crime. Where in the world are we?

Hold your hat Hanna, we are moving at the speed of light. We all know what Jesus and the Bible have clearly told us what the world will be like when He comes back. This is not news. But the thing that is so breath-taking is the speed that this is happening. Thank God for John MacArthur. Go for it, brother. He probably won't go to jail because he challenges the criminal governor of California, but there are, and will be a number of people in jail for lessor offenses – like not wearing a face mask. We are not quite there yet, but we are almost to the place where pastors will be in prison for speaking against sexual perversion. Then it will get worse. Which way the pendulum will swing is anybodys guess. The good guys in the white hats might win again and the some of the bad guys might go to jail, but what we are seeing in many states today will be law nation, and probably, world wide real soon. I get sick to my stomach looking at the news. But really that is good news. If we are where we are today, that only means we are not far from the final act. That is really good news. If there ever was a time to stand strong and get tough for Jesus it is now.

Let's do it, bill

 

Suffering

 

9 August 2020

Dear Phyllis,

A couple weeks ago when I wrote to you about Job and Peter, there was a funny Ron Blough story that I wanted to share but space did not permit.

In 1966 Ron and Marlene came back to Japan after a one year furlough to find the Church of the Open Door had virtually collapsed. The next day the land lord told him the land had been sold. That was the guidance he needed. “I'm going to Hokkaido.” Ron checked shipping cost and was told it would cost him $1000 to ship his things to Sapparo. Ron found a used truck for $1000 and went 50-50 with Ed Scalf to haul his belongings up to Sapporo himself. He would use the truck, and when he was done the truck was Ed's. Three months, three blown engines and 17 flat tires later Ron got as far as Sendai when the engine gave up the ghost for the third time. Ron got out, called a tow truck to haul him into town. While he was waiting another tire blew for the 18^th time. He thought, while he was waiting for the tow truck, he might as well change the tire. As he was getting out his tools a little bird flew over and dumped slam on his head. When Ron told me that story I roared. He looked at me grimly and said, “Brother, it wasn't funny. That was something that came from heaven. There are 120,000,000 people in Japan and that little bird had to pick me to dump on.”. Ron said, it was just like the angel Gabriel was talking to the Father in heaven and asked him, “What do you think of Ron Blough?” And the Father said, “Let Me show you”. Then He sent an little bird to dump on Ron's head.

In Job's case, when the second disaster fell on him the servant told him, “Fire of God is fallen from heaven and burned up all your sheep” (Job 1: 16). Sometimes that is the way it looks. The fire came from heaven and the little bird's dropping came from heaven. But with Job, the six trials that came on him was the greatest blessing of his life. That horrible time saved him from self-righteousness and made him a genuinely transformed man. And in Peter's case when the devil sifted him like wheat, the only thing he lost was his self confidence and arrogance, that made him a truly humble servant to be the great apostle.

It is academic; we can argue whether God sends trials or allows bad things to happen to us from the devil, but the fact remains we all are going to have to walk through thorns to get to heaven. Samuel Rutherford was defrocked from his pulpit in Anwoth and sent to Aberdeen in exile and eight years of silence. At first Rutherford chaffed badly and said, “The Lord has cast me as a dry tree over the wall and will use me no more”. Like Job, he had some hard things to say about Jesus. But later we wrote, “My enemies have sent me here as my prison but they didn't realize this is my palace. I was a child before, but the Lord has brought me here to show Me the beauty of Jesus.” He never stopped chaffing over his “silent Sabboths”, but his letters are filled with praise and thanks giving for what Jesus had done for him in Aberdeen. Rutherford never stopped grieving over his silence, but little did he realize that for the next 400 years hundreds of thousands of Christians would be enormously blessed by his letters. The Letters of Samuel Rutherford are absolutely unique in all of Christian literature. He later went on to be a famous professor in a seminary and had an extensive ministry. Some of his letters are during the post-Aberdeen experience, but they don't have the same flavor. Hands down, his greatest ministry was during his eight years of silence.

Afflictions are basic to the Christian life. Paul warned the Thessalonians, “That no man should be moved by these afflictions; know that we ARE APPOINTED thereunto. We told you before that we should suffer tribulation” (1 Thes. 3:3,4). Peter wrote to the believers of his day that when we “endure grief, suffering wrongfully,

to take it patiently; for even hereunto WE ARE CALLED, because, Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example example, that we should follow His steps” (1 Pet. 2:19-21).

Do you want to follow the steps of Jesus and be like Jesus? Try poverty, persecution, and a violent death. Jesus was homeless. He said, “Foxes have holes and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has not the where to lay His head” (Lk, 9:58). Jesus was broke. He didn't have the money to pay His tax. He had to tell Peter to go catch a fish and take a coin out to pay their taxes (Mt. 17:27). He probably only had one garment. He was persecuted and run out of one town after another. And in the end He suffered a horrible violent death. Maybe Peter didn't rally mean we should be like Jesus and follow in His steps. That was just for Jesus. But all but one disciple were martyred, and millions upon millions upon millions of Christians have followed Jesus with serious poverty and violent deaths. Perhaps it might be corectly said that a CROSSLESS CHRISTIAN LIFE IS A CHRISTLESS CHRISTIAN LIFE.

I don't know what these prosperity gospel preachers are talking about. They tell us it is the will of God that we all drive Mercedes and live a illness free life for 91 years and then peacefully go to heaven to receive our great reward. Maybe they are right. Most of them live in million dollar homes and fly around in private jets. It sure is a good way to raise money. It is a strange day we have come to in Christianity. I wonder what Peter or Paul would think if they were with us today. My sisters gardener got saved in a Billy Graham Crusade in Los Angeles many years ago. When I met him I said, “I heard you got saved last year.” He didn't know what saved meant. I went on, “I heard you went forward and accepted Christ. Has your life been much different since then?” He lit up and said, “Oh yes. Since then my business has boomed and I have made a lot of money. My daughter won a beauty contest and is going to be a fashion model.” “What church do you go to?” “Saint Mary's” Poor turkey. When He meets Jesus in judgment I believe he should plead “False advertisement”.

One of the few Christian groups that I believe have it right is the Jesus Family in China when their invitation was SACRIFICE, ABANDONMENT, POVERTY, SUFFERING, DEATH. That sound pretty much like what Jesus was offering and talking about.

Suffering is not a bad thing. Paul said, “I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproches, in persecutions, in distress for Christs sake, for when I am weak then am I strong” (2 Cor. 12:10). James said, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations”. Then he lists the positive results that come out of having a bad time. Fire is not a bad thing. All it did was burn the ropes off the three Hebrew heroes (Dan. 3:25). All fire does to gold is take the impurities out. It takes a lot of hammering to shape a block to fit it in the temple. It takes a lot of filing to sharpen our swords. Suffering is as much apart of the Gospel as salvation itself. It might be said that without suffering we wouldn't be perfected to be altered for heaven. Looking back over my life I can pretty put down a zero for a final score. But I thank God for that zero. I dread to think what would have happened to me if the Lord had given me half a dozen of the successful ministries I asked Him for. Of course I wanted to do it all for the glory of God, but I am afraid I would have been badly sun burned basking in the glory of such successful works. Now at the end of the road I can honestly say that I see things in Jesus that I never saw before. Like Rutherford in Aberdeen, these years of silence have probably been the best years of my life. Jesus has never been more real. Oh, He is wonderful!

Some of Ron Blough's 3 burned up engines and 18 flat tires might have been self-inflicted. I don't know about the bird dropping. It may not have come from heaven, but the Lord has a purpose in all He send us and we can thank Him again for Rom. 8:28.

Thank God, bill

Great Men of Japan

26 July 2020

Dear Phyllis,

It has been my great privilege to have known a number of the finest Christian men of our time. When I first went to Japan everyone was talking about Joe Carroll. He had been there twice in 1954 and the next year in 1955 as the speaker for the Karuiawa missionary conference and they had had what was probably the best conference in post-war Japan. I thought I would like to hear this man one time before I died. Little did I realize I would later be his disciple and spend many year working and living with him. Yes he was good, in his day he was arguably the finest preacher in the English language world wide. But I have known other men who may have had more of Christ.

Of those men I would have to put Neil Verwey as the finest Christian man I have ever met. Neil certainly was not the best preacher, and perhaps not the top missionary – though he was probably among the top ten in Japan. But I never met a man who was more Christ-like. It was my privilege to be closely associated with him for over 20 years and watched him respond under the most challenging situations.

One of the highlights was a time when we had a serious disagreement. We had an argument over what I have always thought was the most ridiculous issue of my life. To this day I feel Neil's position was incomprehensible, but he sincerely held it. It was an argument over some rent. When we had a squabble over the rent Neil said, “Look I will pay the rent, but in my heart I feel you should”. That was no solution. It went on for a month. One day I went to Habikino to give Neil the money for the rent and we got into a hot go-around. Finally Neil pleaded, “Let's pray”. “NO! We can pray after we get this settled.” We got to an impossible impasse. Then Neil pulled a stunt that has probably never happened any other place on this planet. Neil was a big man (spiritually). He was close to being one of the highest Christian statesmen in Japan and was very well known world wide. He was the founder and director of one of the best mission in Japan. Neil got out of his chair and crawled on his hands and knees to my chair and lay flat on the floor with his head on my feet crying. You talk about motivation. I came out of that chair like it was an ejection seat in a jet fighter and hit the floor with a thud. Pray? Yes we did. We prayed like I had never prayed in my life. I prayed the holiest prayer of my life and couldn't think of another word to say. Neil broke out again and prayed, “Lord, I am the worst man in Japan. I have the hardest head on earth. Bill said he would rather deal with the devil than with me. Lord, my heart is breaking. I long to hear Bill say, 'I forgive you'.” That's it folks. What do you say after that? I can't remember. All I recall is getting up off the soaked floor and embracing. For the life of me I couldn't recall what the problem was. Neil picked up the envelop with rent money and handed it back to me, saying, “I hope this problem is settled”. My heart sank. I cried, “Neil. Please don't bring up that problem again”. He quietly said, “Yes, I understand”, and kept it. Over the years, Neil Verwey gave me thousands and thousands of dollars.

Four years ago I had my back slam to the wall. We were in Laos to get a Thai visa. I was dead broke and didn't have money to get home. I did something I have never done in my life and wrote his son, David Verwey, asking if they could send me some money to get out of this hole. David sent me $1,000. Two years later when I was in Japan I thanked David for the $1,000 he sent me at that critical time. David stunned me by saying, “That money didn't come from me”. On his death bed, Neil had given $1,000 to David with the instruction, “If Bill Cook is ever in a tight spot, please send this money to him”. On his death Neil had given me money to get out of that jam in Laos.

Another time I had a weird experience. I had just returned to Japan from being a long time in Thailand. I went back to Hatoyama to stay in my old room at NLL. That night I had the worst anxiety attack of my life. I don't remember why but it was a zinger. I was absolutely panic stricken but I didn't know what to do. Early the next morning I woke up with my mind racing in all kinds of insane direction. Finally I decided walk to Osaka (500 km). I put on some walking shoes, took my Bible, and left NLL to walk 500 km to Osaka. I went 300 meters and came to the bus stop. I thought, “This is crazy. I had Y100 in my pocket. Why not take the bus the first 30 km to Tokyo?” I was next to broke, but thought, “I still have Y10,000 in my bank account. If I'm going to die I don't need that money. Why not draw it out and buy a bus ticket to Ikoma?” I did and got the night bus to Ikoma.

When I got down there everything was fine. I felt good and had a great time visiting my friends in that area for one week. But I still was very quezy about returning to Hatoyama. When I told Neil about my experience and had drawn my last Y10,000 from the bank because I was going to die and didn't need the money, he secretly put another Y10,000 in my account. The last night I was in Ikoma I had a dream. The Lord told me that the devil had erected some strong holds in my heart that needed to be torn down. I was staying with the Hirotas. The next morning when I went down stairs for breakfast, Miyuki told me that Neil had called and wanted to see me. When I went to see him he immediately got out the Bible and began to show me Bible verses. I said, “Neil, your dead wrong. This isn't about instruction. The Lord told me that the devil has erected a strong hold in my heart that must be torn down (2 Cor. 10:4). We began to pray. It was a prayer like you have never heard. If you ever write a book on spiritual warfare and want to include a chapter on how to tear down spiritual stronghold - and you had a transcript of Neil's prayer, I wouldn't recommend including it. It wasn't a typical in-Jesus'-name-get-out prayer. He didn't command the devil to leave. But Neil cried to God like a mother praying over a dying baby. I don't recall what he said but I will never forget the pathos with which he prayed. I don't know what happened, but I do know that in 20 minutes I was a totally free man. Whatever it was, it was gone. Twenty hours later when I got back to NLL everything was fine. That was as black and white experience with anxiety as I have ever had.

Neil Verwey was not an Impressive man. You weren't struck by his presence when he walked in a room. But he had the tremendous heart of a servant. You couldn't beat him to the dish pan to wash the dishes. He was always the lowest man in his mission. He rode the junkiest bicycle in the days before the had cars.

Roald Lidal was the finest business executive I ever met. In 1997 I said Roald Lidal is probably making the greatest impact for the Kingdom of God as an any man on this planet. New Life League (now called New Life Ministries) was the principle supplier of Bibles for the house church movement that was experience the greatest expansion of the Body of Christ in New Testament history. His vision, his faith, His courage was as great as any man I knew. He ran an incredibly clean ship. And he was a first class Christian. But when he came to down-sizing staff he started with the weakest man in the printing section. When Neil came to the agonizing moment when he had to down-size, the first man he let go was his best man . I was stunned when he told me Endo was leaving. I asked, “Why him?”. Neil said, “Endo is the youngest and the most qualified man we have. He has the best shot at getting a new job.” The difference between Neil Verwey and Roald Lidal is that Roald was thinking first about how to make his organization better. Neil thought about the future of his individual employees.

I have known hundreds of excellent Christian men over the years. I have met some incredibly outstanding preachers. I have known a number of men that you knew a general was there when he walked in the room. But I never met a man that I felt more keenly embodied the Spirit of Jesus. What a goal to emulate! Jesus can do this for anyone if He can find the man with the right heart.

Have a great week walking with Jesus,

                                                      bill