Another Bottle?

30 December 2012

 

Dear Phyllis,

 

The other day Peg McDaniels sent me a letter saying, “Bill, you always seem to be either on the mountain peak or in a valley.” That is certainly true. I have found in life that highs and lows come in pairs. My greatest highs have always been soon followed by crashing lows. The greatest time I have ever had speaking was probably at a combined Easter sunrise service in Karuizaw in 1970. With little preparation, I stood up and brought one of my finest messages. People remarked years later what a blessing that meeting was. As brilliant things flowed from my mouth, it was like listening to someone else speak. Three hours later I was basking in the glory of that meeting when I was greeted by the news that our request from Canada for permission to get married to Rosemary had been denied. That plunged me into the deepest depression.

1980 was the year of Job. More unutterably horrible things happened to us that year than I care to recount. I had always had a good relationship with students and staff at the language school. But the devil got in that year and everything turned against me. I had hoped to spend my life in Karuizawa, but TEAM fired me from the language, and Joe Carroll told me to get out of his house which had been my home for 15 years. We were glassy-eyed and drunk with the hammering we had taken in Japan, when we returned to Greenville, SC for a furlough. But that was when the real problems started. Bob Holsten invited me to come out to Colorado to build a kitchen for him. What a relief!

It was fall and round up time in Colorado. I spent more time on a horse than I did with a hammer. But the pinnacle was the cattle drive. That was undoubtedly the highest point in my life. There has never been a day before, or since, to be its equivalent. We had spent the day rounding up and starting a three day cattle drive of over 1000 head. That night was like the night before Christmas for a 5 year old kid times ten. I was so excited that I could hardly sleep. I was counting the minutes until dawn, when we could saddle up, and continue that drive. At midnight I was waken from a deep sleep with a banging on the door. I staggered to the door to see Dave Hyde, the pastor of the church in town. He said, “Bill, Rosemary called. Your son just died.” The next day I was not sitting on a stallion driving cattle, but standing beside a coffin with a grieving wife.

That has been the story of my life. Every high has been followed by a devastating crash. I don't know why other than this is the Lord's special training for me. In the 23^rd Psalm we read of two instruments – the rod and the staff – both of which are received for comfort. In scripture, the rod has a singular meaning – discipline. Proverbs warns us to not spare the rod. And encourages us that the rod will drive foolishness out of a child (Prov. 22:15; 23:13). There are 9 references to the rod in Proverbs, all of which deal with pain. I have found that the rod is necessary in raising children. It had a very good effect in raising my boys, and the three times that I have had to put the paddle on Annie have all been marked by improved character, and a deeper love for me. It is the wisdom and love of our heavenly Father that brings the rod down on us. Pain is no fun, but the Psalmist said that the rod was his comfort. That is true. The sting of the rod is a sign of the Lord's special concern and love for us. Oh the Lord is good to me!

Jeremiah tells us that the problem with Moab was that “he had settled on his lees, and had not been emptied from vessel to vessel” (Jer. 48:11). The lees is the sediment that comes out in making wine . To make good wine, the wine maker lets the wine sit in a bottle for a while to allow the sediment to go to the bottom. Then he carefully pours the good stuff into another bottle and lets it settle again. This process must be repeated several times, pouring the wine from bottle to bottle to make good wine. The Lord has been especially good to me in that He has never allowed me to settle down too long in one place. My life has been an endless process of getting poured from one bottle to another. Every time I have settled down and felt that, “This is it! This is where I want to spend the rest of my life”: bam! I get poured into another bottle. All of these times have been gut-wrenching, heart-rending, experiences.

Three weeks ago I wrote you a letter saying that “today is the happiest day of my life”. That should have been a signal that here comes another bottle. I have had three homes – all of which I have intensely enjoyed. The house on the hill in Karuizawa was a dream. It was the finest property in Japan. I mean that seriously. Joe Carroll built it (had it built) for $2,500 in 1959. He lived in it for three years, went to the states, and never came back. I lived in it for 15 years, and converted it from a liability albatross to the finest property in town. It was inaccessible, and had virtually no water. By building a unique 15 meter (45 feet) tunnel, I was able to have year around access, and fixed it up to a dream house. Joe told me to leave. My world came to an end.

Two years later Neil Verwey invited us to join Japan Mission in Ikoma, and funded the building of the Joy Corral. Oh my goodness I enjoyed that house! It was perfect! I wanted to make it western. Man howdy it was! Japanese thought they needed a visa to visit us. Japanese loved it, and so did we. But Rosemary hit burnout, and got sick of having people in. I said, “If we are not going to use this place as a maximum for serving Jesus, we don't need to live here.” I gave it to Jim Blocksom who was maxed-out for Jesus.

After my world collapsed in 1990, I never thought I would have a home again. Mark gave me one room in his Bible warehouse to sleep in, and that was my home for seven years. But then Mark moved out and we inherited this place. It seemed overwhelming to think about fixing it up, but I have made fabulous progress. We have the finest kitchen in northern Thailand. I have made a large table for having Bible studies. I finally finished making the finest bed you ever saw. I love it! You couldn't improve on it. We have a lot of plans on how we want to fixed this place up to serve the Lord.

I don't think it is going to fly. I have grave misgivings that I am not going to live in this house much longer. I hope I am wrong, but it looks like another bottle coming up.

These past two weeks have been indescribably horrible. But there has been some intervention by the Lord. Annie is gone. This is a miracle. She is in a place where she is very happy at the ,moment. She is with Paul and Marisa, and loves it there. I am grateful to the Lord that He has provided such a wonderful place for her. But it sure is hard on dad. I feel just like we have had a funeral. There is a huge hole in my heart that will not be filled. There is some concern for her though. Paul and Marisa are fantastic parents. Their strength and weakness is that they will not say no. As a result twelve children have wound up staying with them. They are like the little old lady that lived in a shoe. Their house is not that big, and they literally can't take anymore, and yet more are coming. They are seeing a moving of the Holy Spirit in that house such as I have never seen in another location. A week ago they had a little Lahu girl (minority tribe) dumped on their door step. The mother doesn't want her, and told Paul and Marisa that they can keep her. This is great for Annie. She loves to have another four year old girl to play with. And the eight other older girls living with Paul and Marisa love Annie very much.

The problem is that there may be legal complications. This arrangement is a long ways from being legally settled. If her genetic father, in southern Thailand, objects, or the Thai authorities step in, Annie could be taken away and sent back to southern Thailand. Lord, please don't let that happen.

The collateral damage from this problem is big. I had the heart-rending experience of talking to the children in Annie's kindergarten for the last time Wednesday. I didn't tell them that that was my last day. It was hard on me to be flocked by 20 - 30 little children all trying to hug Uncle B ill, knowing it was probably the last time I would see them. This has been a terrible blow to Sangha and Lek, the directors of the school, to have us out. It has been a huge plus for them to have such an unusual Uncle Bill to talk to the children every day. This will be a huge impediment for the salvation of Sanha and Lek. I don't know, maybe the Lord might intervene and turn things around, but at the moment I see little hope of that happening. Also it was hard to tell the little girl with emotional problem we were trying to help not to come anymore. You cannot have problems where the devil tears things up without taking serious collateral damage in a wide area.

I am not at liberty to discuss in detail all that has happened. I honestly don't know what has happened myself. And I am not at all sure that I know what I am up against. I don't know the problem much less know the answer. There have been some amazing dramatic swings in the scenario in the past few days. I thought I knew what was going on, and then it appeared that the Lord showed me what I thought was wrong was not true, and things were marvelously good.

I wrote a letter to my niece in Los Angeles saying “Greeting from hell”. That seemed to be where I was living at the moment. And then the pendulum swung the other way. Things looked better. But I know that both extremes are wrong. The hell I have been in for the past two weeks was intensely real. The scenario I have had to deal with was unreal. The emotional load has been enormous. Since then the Lord has been very good in sharing a lot of surprising things with me. From my heart I can thank God for the hand He has dealt me. After all, what do we want in life – a happy time, or the glory of God? Hell is no fun, but if the Lord can be honored more by my desperation than He can be by my pleasure and ease, then hell is the best place to be.

Phyllis, please, I hope you don't think too highly of me. I am not a hero. I am only a survivor. When I was going through my death with Rosemary 22 years ago, some people praised me for staying true to the Lord. I said, “True to the Lord?!! What choice did I have?” If a man is on a ship that sinks and he is bobbing around the ocean in a life jacket, is he supposed to throw away his life jacket? The only thing that was keeping me up was Jesus. How could I think of leaving Him?

I don't deserve credit for anything now. If someone steps in quick sand and sinks up to his mouth; them someone rushes forward and miraculously pulls him out; is the man a hero? Who gets the credit – the poor turkey that was in the mud, or the hero that saved him? In the news papers we don't talk about the guy covered with mud, but the credit goes to the man who rushed forward to pull him out. Phyllis, please, if I don't go below my eye brows in quick sand it is because Jesus is fantastic.

What happens to me is of little consequence. If Jesus can receive more glory and honor through my inadequacies and distress, then isn't that good? 2012 has been a good year. God is good. He only does good things. He has given me His best. Praise the Lord!

bill

Let's Go!

23 December 2012

 

Dear Phyllis,

 

Last week I told you that, as a result of my discussion with Pastor Kichikun in October, we came up with a plan for a double punch for Christmas. The first was a caroling event last Friday; and the second was a follow-up special Christmas program on the 21^st. I briefly mentioned what happened last week. It was miraculous. An hour before the caroling we had the biggest mess on our hands that the devil could provide. I could see nothing but disaster – but it came out amazingly well. I had no idea what was going to happen at the program on the 21^st. That was Friday night. Again it was amazingly good. We didn't get the turn out that we had hoped for, but it was good, and we must believe that the Lord brought the ones that He wanted there; and spoke to them about the things He wanted then to hear. Really, it would have been hard to put on a better program. Kichikun had asked me to have the message. He said five minutes, but we both knew that was impossible.

I felt the Lord would have me speak on Isa. 9:6; “For unto us a Child is born...” But when I stood up, the Lord suddenly reminded me of the testimony of General Tha Dam.

It was exactly nine years ago that General Tha Dam died in a hospital in Saigon. He was the top general for the North Vietnamese who was responsible for the final assault on Saigon in 1975. In 2002, his wife was saved through the testimony of a woman that she met at a market. The General was furious when she got saved, and stopped worshiping idols. But shortly after that, he came down with cancer. He fought a losing battle with cancer until they put him in a hospital for the last time in December.

On the 13^th of December, a Vietnamese pastor visited him in the hospital. The General knew nothing about Christmas other than it was Jesus' birthday, and it was the most celebrated religious holiday world wide. He thought that Jesus must be about the top of the line to have His birthday celebrated more than Buddha or anyone else. He told the pastor, “Pray exactly as I tell you.” Dutifully, the pastor prayed as directed.

“God, if You are God, I want You to save me on Christmas day. If You don't save me on Christmas day I know that You are not God and I just want to die anyway, Amen.”

He hoped that he might have surgery on Christmas day that would save his life. But the hospital told him that Christmas was a holiday, and there would be no one there. He thought “Shigata ga nai (Japanese, there is nothing you can do about it. Those are my words, not his.) Well, I will just die”.

On Christmas morning, at 7:30, a Vietnamese pastor visited him in the hospital, and left at 7:45. At 8:00 o'clock a nurse checked on him, and found him dead. They thought the pastor had killed him, and sent out an arrest warrant, but never found him. Then the hospital panicked. They had let the top General in Vietnam die without doing everything they could to save him. To cover themselves, they tried to get a surgeon to come in to carve up the cadaver, but couldn't get one. So they called in a general physician who had never done surgery to cut him up. Two hours later the General opened his eyes and said, “I want to go home”.

I was on blacklist in Vietnam at the time, and couldn't get in. But five years later I did get to Saigon and stayed in his home for five days. I asked the General what happened when he died. He told me:

“When I died, it was like my spirit went out into space. I saw, in the distance, a bright light, and started going towards it. As I was going towards that light I heard a Voice above and behind me saying, 'Open your eyes, and take your life back'. I tried but couldn't. As I continued towards that light, I heard the Voice the second time. Again I tried, but couldn't. As I went on towards that light, the Voice came the third time, 'Open your eyes, and take your life back'. This time I opened my eyes, and heard a voice saying 'It is finished'. That was the doctor who had just finished sewing me up speaking to a nurse. I said, 'I want to go home.' The startled doctor replied, 'You can't'. But I insisted that I wanted to go home. So they loaded me in an ambulance, and took me home.”

That was on Christmas Day 2003. Two weeks later he was totally healed of everything riding his motor bike around Saigon. He came back from the dead an active born-again Christian witnessing to the top men in the Vietnamese government, and started a church in his home. I had the privilege of preaching the first message in that church. I spoke on the text “But God”, in Eph. 2:4.

I thought that testimony would be appropriate for a Christmas service. But then tried to share something from Isa 9:6. Oh I wished I had weeks to speak from that text! But I only spoke on “Us”. The verse says, “For unto US a Child is born, unto US a Son is given”. The question is, who is the US? Jesus answered that question 500 years later when He was taking to Nicodemus one night. Jesus told His visitor, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son”. Obviously the answer to US is the world. Oh my goodness, what an astonishing truth! How could it be that God so loved this filthy world enough to give His Son? How can it be that the object of the promise in Isaiah is us? I shouted at the crowd Friday night and said, “Do you know who the US is? IT IS YOU ! You are the us! It is unto you that this Child has been born, It is unto you that this Son is given! What more can you say? What more can you tell folks? It is unto them that Jesus came. God sent His Son to be their savior. And I told them the only thing they could do is say, “Thank You”. And accept the gift that God has given them. Oh, my heart aches! Oh I wish I could grab everyone by the throat and demand “Take it!” But God Himself won't jam a gift down anyone throat if they don't want it.

Kichikun had asked me, “Make it brief”. I did my best. Most of that was unprepared. What I had intended to talk about – and actually did talk about – was my three Christmases. I told the folks how Christmas is the biggest day of the year in America. The whole country goes bonkers for one day, and everything revolves around it. It is the biggest money making day of the year. When I was a boy I would look forward to Christmas from summer on. That was the day when I would get the biggest presents of the year. Things I begged for all year would be there Christmas morning. Christmas was a new bicycle, new skis, new skates, new tools, new clothes, etc. Mono (Japanese, things) was everything.

But the night I graduated from high school, my dad fell over with a heart attack, and died. Crash! I was 17. My world came to an end. We were a fairly wealthly family, and I wondered what would happen to me from here. That Fall I went to college in Michigan, and came home for Christmas. It was awful. My father had always put up the lights around our house each year; and he wasn't there. My mother tried to fill in the gap, and went outside to put up the decorations. It was gut-wrenching. I wished she hadn't done it. There is nothing worse than trying to be happy when your heart is torn up. I just wanted to forget it. I despised Christmas. That was the worst day of the year. For many years Christmas was a bad day. It was a day to forget. The name of the game was to just try to put it out of your mind and forget about it until it is over, and then get on with life.

But then four years later something wonderful happened to me. Christ came in my heart. Oh my goodness, what a difference! It was then that I discovered that Jesus wasn't just some sort of a historical figure who appeared on the earth 2,000 years ago. I was astonished to discover that the Bible is true. It actually is the Word of God. What that Book says is true. Jesus did come. He did die. He did rise from the dead. But more than that, He is a personal savior – right now. Today! When Jesus came into my life, gifts and material things ceased to be important. I found that mono (things) is not what life is all about. And I found that the greatest satisfaction is not what you can get, but what you can give.

Jesus said, that of anyone who drank the water that He offers, that OUT of their innermost being would flow rivers of living water (Jn. 7:38). The flow of life goes out – not in. When Jesus was born in my heart, for the first time, I knew what Christmas was all about. That has been my third Christmas. Ever since then, Christmas has been a time to tell others why He came. It was for them.

I don't know. I don't know what happened. Kichikun really did a good job. The program was about as good as you could get. We didn't see everyone in the Muban (housing area) saved. There were a few there. There seemed to be some interest. The Lord seemed to bless His own Word. But life goes on.

This year I have been impressed anew how quiet it was in Bethlehem that night. We are restricted to imagination to suggest to us what was going on. Undoubtedly there was some commotion in the inn with all the visitors in town for the tax. It is doubtful that there were very many who came out to see what was going on with a crying baby that had just been born. Unquestionably, the main event was happening in a field a few kilometers from town with some shepherds listening to the choir of heaven sing. But who would believe that? It isn't much different today. Only, the main commotion is in churches rather than in the inn. Still in all, the Holy Spirit is doing His work in quiet places, totally unobserved by humanity. Wouldn't it be great to be with the shepherds and listen to what they heard that night? Or better still, to see that Baby that was just born.

Much has happened since then. That Baby grew to be a Man, and finished the work for which He came. And the blessing of that is actually available to us today, but we might have to go into the barn to find Him.

Let's go!

bill

John Finally Made It

16 December 2012

Dear Phyllis,

This past week has certainly been a momentous one. From here on, for a week, this is the Christmas season. In most churches, this means dendo (evangelism). Last October I asked Pastor Kichikun if he was planning to have some special Christmas program. From that conversation two things evolved. First we decided to have a major caroling event to reach our muban (housing area). Then, as a follow up, we decided to have a major Christmas program on the 21^st. Paul and his family do not live in this muban, but the Lord is using them in an unprecedented way, and I wanted to tap in on their success to have them participate with us here in our outreach.

The story is very complicated, but the short version of it is, that we had put together some extremely bad chemistry. The rehearsal for the caroling, Thursday night, had gone completely sideways. At 6 AM, Friday morning, Paul was at my house to tell me that they were out. Paul has about 10 kids on-fire for Christ, and they would easily be the main force in the caroling. Paul and I decided that we would still have them come over to do the caroling, and pass out 100 CDs of the Jesus film to every house here. That meant I had to call Kichikun and Destiny Rescue to tell them that there had been a major change in the caroling, and Paul's gang would pass out the CDs. Destiny Rescue could go with Kichikun's church or by themselves, but Paul's group would not be with them.

That was at 8:00 AM, and I would call them later. At 9:00 we had to be at school. They were taking pictures of the staff and classes, so that took an extra hour. Rather than going straight home, Pammy had some things to do, and told me she would be home some time after noon. At 1:00 o'clock she called me from downtown saying my good friend, John's wife, Noi, had just called her saying John was dying, and had only moment left to live. Would we get there as soon as possible?

Pammy went straight from town and I went on my own bike from our house. When I got there, there was a large crowd of people gathered. I went straight into the bed room, and it was obvious John was at the gate of the City. Their Thai pastor, Baiun, was by John's head praying. Johns eyes were open, and it seemed he was aware of what was going on around him, but he was unable to speak. The only sound coming out of his mouth were guttural death rattles. This was a first time experience for me to be with someone dying. My first words were, “Congratulation! John, you've made it! This is the moment you have waited for all your life. You have finished your course.”

For some strange reason, at 4:00, Noi decided to call an ambulance. I thought it was disgusting, but that was her call. At 4:30 Pastor Baiun asked me if I wanted to ride in the ambulance. I replied that I had a huge mess on my hands with a caroling event that was scheduled in two hours. No one had been informed of the change. At 5:00 I was home calling Pastor Kichikun, and then things REALLY WENT SIDEWAYS!

He told me to call Mike, who had paid $100 for the CDs, and have a meeting at our house in 10 minutes. Five minutes later Mike showed up, and went ballistic. The next 45 minutes were as bad a scene of confusion as the devil could possibly put together. I could see nothing but disaster. At 6:30 Paul and his young people showed up at our place along with a large group from Destiny Rescue. And the next thing I knew was 40 people were walking down the street singing Christmas carols. Paul and I were walking behind shaking or heads at something that was utterly IMPOSSIBLE – but it was happening. The short story of that evening was that it was TOTALLY different than what we had planed, but it was an impact for the Kingdom of God that went beyond anything that I had hoped for. We got to bed well after midnight.

At 7:00 the next morning Noi called saying John had rallied somewhat, and was now back home. We certainly planned on going over there that day, and at 7:00 PM there was another call saying John was breathing his last – “Please hurry”. The next 3 ½ hours were one of the highlights of my life. The day before I didn't care for John's eyes. They were not eyes of peace. There was the look of anxiety. It seemed to me that Pastor Baiun's main concern was more to assist the physical body as much as possible by trying to give him sips of water and wipe his mouth. That business of the ambulance was totally out of place. I told Pammy, “If I ever get in a spot like that, please don't call an ambulance, stick tubes in my throat, and give me pet shots. Just let me go to be with Jesus.” The main concern on Friday seemed to be more for John's physical body. When I said “Congratulation” it almost seemed to alarm him.

John had been fighting cancer for almost a year. He had one surgery to drain an enormous amount of fluid out of his chest. I didn't think too much about that, but three months later they opened him up to take a tumor out of his chest. The the next word was chemo therapy. That was the first time I heard the alarm bell go off. I don't like chemo therapy and John didn't either. He choose to go the natural way, and went to some practitioner that said he could cure cancer by food.

But the main issue was theological. John adamantly believed in healing. The problem with that position is that it prevents any preparation for heaven. In order to be consistent with the healing position you must live in denial, and refuse to accept that things are not improving. I knew a Pentecostal wife from Sweden several years ago that had brain cancer. They took a strong stand of faith believing God for healing. One day her husband was out. When he got home his wife was crying. He asked, “What is the problem?”

“The Lord was here and spoke to me. He told me I was going to heaven.”

“No He didn't. That is the devil.”

She firmly stuck to her position that she was going to heaven and her husband took a strong stand of faith that she was going to be healed. She went to heaven.

I knew a couple here in Chiang Mai several years ago. Shortly after they returned to the states, he came down with cancer. They naturally took a strong stand of faith for his healing. When he got right down towards the end, Maria wrote a five page letter of declaration of healing. She wrote, “Phil isn't any better but we know he is going to be healed because Jesus promised........ :” He died. That letter would have been an excellent testimony at an atheist convention. She eloquently wrote five pages incontestably proving that Jesus is a liar.

When John told me what he was up against, I wished we knew more about the mind of the Lord. I couldn't get a signal one way or another. Paul thought he was going to be healed. John was adamant for healing. I wasn't sure. It would have made our last few months together much better if we had actually known the mind of the Lord. Somehow I felt he wasn't going to make it but we couldn't be honest or realistic.

Now school was out. We didn't have to believe he was not going to die. He was dying. That was undeniable. It felt so good to be able to talk so affirmatively that he was going to heaven. For six hours I stood by John's bed praising God for what he was doing for him and where he was going to be in a few minutes. I said, “Oh John, I am so envious! How I wish I could trade places with you! You are number one in line. You are minutes out of stepping through the gate of the City, and I am near the end of the line.” I told him, “John, I will join you as soon as possible. Please save a place for me at the Table. Please don't eat everything, and save some for me (Mt. 22:2; Rev. 19:9).”

Oh, it was a joy to talk to John where was going. I said, “John, it is over. Your race is run. You have finished your course. The only thing left to do now is to step in the winners circle. The battle is over. You won. This is the moment you have waited for for all your life. Oh John, praise God you made all the right choices!” He hadn't always walked a perfect line, but basically he had given it his best shot choosing the things of the Lord rather than going in the by-path of sin. He had many friends that had gone down a dead end road, and it was always his burden to see them saved.

I have known John for nearly 14 years. I was very unimpressed with him when we first met. But I don't believe I have ever met a man who has grown more after he was 60. His last four or five years were years devoted to an intense pursuit of God. He lamented over the years he was a nominal Christian, but the last several kilos of his journey were right on track. He had a deep concern for his oldest son who was not as diligent a follower of Christ as he wanted him to be. Yok was a heart-ache for John. Now Yok was sitting on the bed next to his dad holding his hand. His loving wife, Noi, was there stroking his face with tenderness and love. What a scene! I told him, “John it doesn't get any better than this. There is nothing you could add to this scene to improve it.” Balaam said, “Let me die the death of the righteous and let my last end be like his” (Num. 23:10). Unfortunately that never happened. Balaam died on the south end of a Jewish sword (Josh. 13:22). But John had the blessed experience of having that wish fulfilled. What more can you ask? For the last three hours his eyes were fixed on me as I kept talking about his unspeakable future. I said, “John, you are not leaving much behind. That old tent that you are wearing is so wore out it is shot. But you will have a new suit to wear shortly. The Chariot of Israel (2 Kn. 2:12) has already left heaven and will be here to pick you up in a minute.” His mother had been a godly woman who prayed much for him. She was waiting with outstretched arms. Occasionally he would utter “Amen”, but that was his only word. I said, “John, we have had a lot of very good fellowship over the years but this is a new level. This is our best time.”

As he got closer, I said, “John, the deep part of the river is behind you. The water gets shallower from here on.” Where he was at that time the water was only about knee deep. He had been neck deep several months before with intense pain. But now the pain was over. He lay there in peace. As it work out, his experience went exactly that way. Two hours later the water was only ankle deep, and half an hour after that John set foot on dry ground in heaven.

John had a Sunday School buddy who had gone to Sunday School with him 61 years ago in Vancouver. Their path had remained remarkably parallel over the years, and Dan was now living in Chiang Mai with his Thai wife. Unlike John, Dan had wondered from the Lord, and had been a serious prayer concern for John for many years. But two years ago Danny started going to John's church and had returned to walking with the Lord. He was now one of the leaders of the New Creation Church. When I first got there Friday afternoon, Danny was kneeling beside John's bed with Pastor Baiun. Thirty four hours later he was still there.

The scene was just like being at the airport seeing someone off. Many well-wishers had come to see him off. But as he waited for his name to be called, people were looking at their watches; and the crowd thinned down considerably. At 11:30 Saturday night it looked like this could go on for another night, and we decided to go home. I turned to Danny and asked, “What are you going to do?”. He re[plied, “We have been together for 61 years and I am not leaving now.” The Lord rewarded that dedication. The next day Danny told me, after we left, John just continued to get quieter and more peaceful. Everything just slowed down. And at 2:30 AM John finally shed his earthly tabernacle to put on a new garment to be with Jesus forever.

Tonight they had a memorial service at John's house. It was indescribable. I don't believe I have ever been in a meeting that was so impregnated with the glory of God. Pastor Baiun asked me to have the main prayer. I stood there for two minutes speechless with tears pouring down my face. My heart was bursting with joy. John was home!

Oh, hallelujah! What a salvation! Oh, WHAT A SAVIOR!

bill

Born of the Spirit

9 December 2012

Dear Phyllis,

Yesterday had to be the happiest day of my life. It started at 5:30 when an alarm went off. I had a very good nights rest and was wide awake. I got up, fixed a cup of coffee, and went out on my balcony, where I meet with the Lord every morning. There was an awesome sense that the Lord was indeed there watching and listening to me. This is a mystery that blows my mind. I had been outside having devotions for a couple of hours when I heard Annie and Pammy talking in our bedroom. We all had slept well. Saturday was no school, so Annie had come to get in bed with mommy. The joyous chatter was too much to resist. I went back to get in bed with family. It couldn't have gotten any better. There is no king or rich man on this planet that was happier than the three of us. Adam in the Garden couldn't have been any happier. It was a moment of intense satisfaction and pleasure. For 21 years I have lived a lonely life by myself. If that was what God wanted for me, I was satisfied, but there was always that sense of loneliness. Now I had the happiest family in the world.

Last May Pammy and I had been attending the Baptist Annual National Camp. A brother who had a children's home with 14 children had come bring six of his young kids with him. The sleeping arrangements were more or less dormitory with woman in one building and men in another. This brother had an adorable 3 year old daughter that wound up sleeping next to Pammy. The next morning Pammy gave her a shower, got her dressed, and brought her to breakfast. When I saw that sight of Pammy with this precious little girl I said, “We are going to keep this one.” We did.

Eight months later here I was frolicking in bed with my wife and daughter. To see how happy our little girl is, and the intense love between mom and daughter, was a sight that would have melted the heart of the devil. For half an hour we lay there laughing, hugging, and playing with each other. There was nothing you could add to it. There was absolutely nothing more we wanted. Just to be together and know that we belonged to each other was all that we wanted.

There was an intense awareness that this is what God is after. This was His purpose in creation. This is why He made the Garden and placed man in it. This is what He was seeking in the cool of the day when He came to fellowship with His created being. Seven thousand years later, when the work of redemption is totally finished, this is what God will have again in Paradise, when the tabernacle of God is again with men (Rev. 21:3).

What a mess sin has made of it! It was curiosity, and a suggestion that there was something more to be had, that led to the departure in the Garden. After man fell, he has been craving to satisfy his needs through all sorts of horrible ways. John summed up the deadly trinity as the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. These have accurately classified as pleasure, possession, and position. Something we want to feel, something we want to have, or something we want to be. It is in the pursuit of these things that man has walked his agonizing rocky road to hell. The Bible calls it the deceitfulness of sin (Heb. 3:13). That is exactly what it is. Sin is deceitful. It offers satisfaction but winds up with bad addiction that never satisfies. Certainly there is pleasure in sin for a season. But when the pleasure wears off, there is a craving for more. Unquestionably, rich people are some of the most unhappy people in the world. Powerful men are never satisfied. What a hell this has made of this planet! What a heaven it is when we are satisfied with Jesus and simply enjoy the amazing things He gives us. There is no way I could have been more satisfied than I was yesterday morning in bed with my family.

Thursday I made a serious mistake at school. I have the privilege of speaking to the children at Annie's kindergarten four mornings a week. Thursday morning I was teaching my class and asked a little girl to come up to speak to me. I have a marvelous relationship with all the children. None of them are afraid of me. I am intensely loved by all, but this little girl refused to respond and come forward. I got angry. I sternly told the class that one thing I would not tolerate was disobedience. “You don't say NO to Uncle B ill!!!” Then I told this little girl, “If you don't obey me, you are out of this class.” After the class the director got me aside and shared with me that that poor little thing was a girl with emotional problems due to a broken home. When I realized that I had scolded a girl who was suffering because of a broken home I was shattered. I told Pammy, “Get the name of that child and we are going to make a project out of her.” The next day the mother and grandfather came to the school to talk to us. I told them how we wanted to make that child special, and have her in our home often. We want to see if we can make up for her some of the love that she is missing in her own home. She came to spend the day playing with Annie yesterday. It was a joy to hear her laugh again. I don't know how much we can help her, but the least we can do is to do what we can.

Many years ago I was quail hunting with me dear friend and spiritual father, Otto Stadsklev. It had been a good day, and I had got two or three quail. Around five we were walking back to the house through a corn field when, suddenly, a large covey of quail went up in front of us. I emptied my shot gun on them. Nothing. Otto said, “Praise the Lord.” Then he explained a deep truth to me. He said, “If you had shot at one you might have got two or three. But because you shot at the covey you got nothing.”

I believe this applies spiritually. The first time I spoke on the radio preaching the Gospel, it was a bit intimidating. It is difficult to sit in an empty studio talking to a microphone. But I imagined that microphone was a person and I was talking to one person. Every time I have been on radio since then I never speak to the audience but to one person listening. Paul uses this approach in his letters. In Romans 2 he says, “Thou art inexcusable O man... and thinkest thou this O man...or despisest thou the goodness of God... but after thy hardness and impenitent heart...” (Rom. 2:1-5). This is all very personal. It is like he is talking to one man. The message in the book of Hebrew is similar.

Jesus never told us to love everybody in the world. He only told us to love one man – our neighbor. This is not restricted to where we live, but where we are. My neighbor may be the person nest door. But later my neighbor will be the person sitting next to me on a bus or train. Then my neighbor will be the person at the desk next to me, or the man I work with. Whoever is standing or sitting the closest to me is my neighbor.

I can't reach all the children in the school but we can take one child and try to make her special. By doing so we might reach several other children . By shooting at one we might get several but if we shoot at the school we probably won't get any. So far she has been here two times. Each time has been increasingly good. At first she was very shy. But now she comes and clings to me like I was her dad. We took her to church today, and she did very well. Along with the marked improvement we have seen in Kam, there is the additional factor that we are establishing a strong relationship with her grandparents who bring her over. We certainly plan to invite them to come to our Friday night Bible study. This has given us a relationship that is absolutely unique.

Two months ago I felt that Pammy had fallen below the acceptable level of conduct for the wife of a Christian leader, and told Kichikun that I was no longer qualified to preach. Since then I feel things have improved sufficiently so there is no reason why I couldn't get back to public speaking.

Today Pastor Kichikun was out of town, and asked me to step in for him. Reluctantly, I did. Nearly 2/3 of the people coming to church are unsaved. That is a very unique situation, and gives us a strong reason for preaching evangelistic messages. As I prayed about my message this past week I felt the Lord would have me speak on COME – the last invitation in the Bible in Rev. 22:17. I was all set to give a high powered appeal until I got to church. There was virtually no one there. At 10:30, the congregation consisted of one dear old Christian sister. There were a few others who came in late so we wound up with about 10. With no one there that I intended to preach to, obliviously, my message was out the window. When Fa introduced me to speak, I was at a complete blank. This is the third time in the last five trips to the pulpit that I have stood up with a blank.

I started off by talking about a subject Paul and I had been discussing at 6:00 this morning. I was rocked a couple of years ago in reading Andrew Murray's comments on Heb. 2:11 – “For both He that sanctifieth and they who are sanctified are all of One...” Andrew Murray brought out that, just as Christ was born of God, so are we. When that little Baby was born in Bethlehem; the very same Spirit was was born in Him is the same Spirit that is born in us at the new-birth. We both – Christ and us – are from the same source; we have the same Spirit. To illustrate this I said, “Suppose you had a very delicious drink and you put some in an expensive gold glass. Then you poured some of the same drink in a tin can. The gold glass and the tin can were radically different, but when you tasted both of them, you had to admit it was the same drink.

This is one of the proofs of the reality of the Body of Christ. I have preached Christ in over 15 countries and fellowship with Christians from over 30 countries, plus another 10-12 different minority group people. I can speak with Christians in Tokyo, or Russians in Siberia, or underground Christians in Vietnam, Laos, or China; and when I do, I discover that they are born of exactly the same spirit that is in me. I have fellow shipped with believers in chicken-coup-like churches in Korea, in houses in Cambodia, or Thais here in Thailand, and I find that everyone is born of exactly the same Spirit as me. And that Spirit is the same Spirit that was in Christ Jesus. We are all out of God. This is a subject that has blown my mind in recent years. It seemed to have some impact on the folks in church this morning.

But I still had another twenty minutes left, so I decided to speak on the Severn Spirits of God. In the Book of Revelation, three times we see this reference to the Seven Spirits of God (Rev. 3:1, 4:5, 5:6). For years I wondered what the Seven Spirits of God were. I decided the best way to find out was to preach on them. So several years ago I had a seven week series in Japan on the Seven Spirits of God. I have never heard a message, or read a book, where anyone ventured out to tell what the Seven Spirits of God were. All that I got was original and something I believe was from God.

To identify the first one was easy. If the Spirit of God is anything, He certainly is the Holy Spirit. This is probably the most fundamental characteristic of God. In the two glimpses we have of God in heaven, we see in both cases there are seraphim's or living beings standing before the Throne crying ceaselessly “Holy! Holy! Holy!” (Isa. 6:3; Rev. 4:8).

I ran out of time this morning and they asked me to quit. And I am out of space now. Too bad. It really is a very good message.

Have a good week. Jesus is coming soon;

bill

Give It Your Best Shot

2 December 2012

Dear Phyllis,

 

I never wanted to be a missionary to Thailand, but the Lord has made me more a part of the fabric of this country than any place I have ever lived. I had surprising few friends as a boy growing up. I was more or less a misfit in high school and college. When I went to Japan I made a serious attempt at being real Japanese. I even wore wooden getas unit one day I looked around, and I was the only idiot in town clopping around on them. As a missionary we tried to identify ourselves with the people wherever we went, but there was no getting around it that we were gaijins (foreigners).

 

It wasn't until I had Henry Ayabe come to Karuizawa to give the new missionaries an orientation message that I heard him say, “The best thing you can do is just be yourself. Don't try to be something you are not”. That was a pivotal moment in my life. Up until then, I had tried Hudson Taylor's philosophy of trying to be a much like the natives as possible. He broke from traditional missionary policy of wearing western clothes, put on Chinese clothes, and wore his hair Chinese style. Henry Ayabe told of his personal experience of trying to be Japanese for the fist five years of his ministry. Even though he was a nisei (second generation) born in Hawaii with a Japanese name, he said the Japanese would never accept him as one of them. He finally gave up trying to be Nihon jin (Japanese) and accepted his status as gaijin (foreigner) ,and said he got along much better. With that I quit trying to be Nihon jin and became a crazy American cowboy. I started wearing a cowboy hat, boots, and western shirts. That has been my trade mark ever since.

 

I never gave any thought of penetrating Thai society to become one of them. I have made zero progress with the language, and am content to stand outside the culture and society of Thailand. But now I find myself more immersed in the fabric of Thai life than any place I have ever been. This was dramatically impressed upon me this morning.

 

When the Lord first gave us Annie, I said, “This little girl is going to be our evangelist.” This is proving to be true in a way that goes well beyond my original thought. When we had to enroll her in kindergarten I had no idea how significant that would be. The director was ecstatic to make our acquaintance, and asked me to speak everyday at the school. This has turned out to be one of the largest openings I have ever had. Uncle Bill is huge news at that school.

 

From the beginning I have always tried to treat every student like they are the only one in the school. After my talk they walk out in single file. I always squat down and speak to each one as they leave. I have made a special attempt of having physical contact with them by shaking hands or patting them. This has produced a strange problem. The students have responded in a major way of wanting to get a hug. I do hug everyone I can, but that is limited as they have to keep moving. It is a common phenomenon to have ten or fifteen children break rank and run to me to try to get a hug. This happens several times every day. Also, a number of children want to kiss Uncle Bill. I am, hands down, the most popular person in the school. I have never been in a place where I have been so universally, intensely, loved by all. This would be impossible if I was Thai. But because I am an American cowboy that puts me in a different category where the rules don't apply.

 

Last week Sangha told me that Sunday would be sports day. That is a major problem in Japan. Schools have a lot of activities on Sunday, and many Christians compromise by putting school events ahead of church. That seems to be a common problem in Thailand as well. On that point, I am hard-head. Sunday is the Lord's day, and I will not allow Jesus to be put in the back seat. When the director spoke to me about the sports day I told him that we would not be there. But then he surprised me with a new scenario. He said it was starting at 7:00 AM and asked if we could come until 10:00 o'clock. He said, “By all means go to church, but if you could come before church we wold be grateful.” Somewhat reluctantly I did agree with that. I am sure that was ordered of the Lord.

 

The day began at an assembling point a short distance from the school. Then a short parade down the street to the grounds where the sports day was to be held. As we milled around the crowd, it hit me in a way that I have never experienced how totally we are one of them. Because Pammy is Thai, she is just one of the mothers, and Annie is 100% one of the children. We couldn't be more totally immersed in the fabric of this society. I will never be Thai, but there is no question but what we are a Thai family. I thought it was a little odd as I was probably 40 years older than the average father there. And at 46 Pammy was probably ten to fifteen years older than the average mother. But in every sense of the word we were one with them. Sangha gave me a prominent place as he had me stand in front of everyone. I gave the award to the winners of some of the events, and participated with the fathers in one event. I enjoyed, and deeply appreciated, the high place of honor he gave me.

 

It was not that I was in the spotlight, but it struck me that the Lord has given us a greater testimony than any place I have ever been in my life. Unquestionably, there is no way you can reach a persons heart better than through their children. We must be the number one topic of conversation in every home every day. All those children must go home talking about Uncle Bill every day. I'm sure the parents were curious to see what kind of a man this falang (foreigner) is. No child is shy with me. Many children came running up to give Uncle Bill a hug today. We must be the most famous family in that community, and certainly the most talked about family in the homes of the over 200 children that go to that school. I am in a truly unique position. As a falang, I am out of the box, and can operate in a way that would be impossible for a Thai. And yet, because Pammy and Annie are Thai, we are utterly one with them.

 

It came to me in a very strong way this morning that when God had a message He wanted to communicate to humanity He became a human. It was through His identity with us as a man that Jesus was able to speak to, and reach us, beyond any other possible way. God communicated His message to us more than He could have by sending an angel from heaven. Identity with the people is the highest platform you can get. The greatest testimony Jesus ever had was the shortest verse in the Bible – John 11:35 – “Jesus wept”. When Jesus burst into tears at Lazarus' grave, that spoke louder than any message He ever gave. By that He demonstrated His identity with the sisters in their grief.

 

I was greatly impressed what a unique platform the Lord has given us to over 200 homes in this community. Our target is to get the directors, Sangha and Lek, saved. After that we want to see the teachers saved. Ultimately we want to see that kindergarten turned into a Christian school. Through that we want to see all the children come to know Jesus, and finally we want to see all the parents brought to the Kingdom of God. We had a tremendously good start this morning.

 

You can't do better than where we were this morning. But a good start is not the same as a winning finish. All that we have right now will be pointless unless there is a continuation of the working of the Holy Spirit in seeing Christ born into the hearts of all, and all those people brought into the obedience of Christ. I don't want to stop at the level that Bill Cook is popular. Jesus must be made Lord. All else is meaningless.

 

Like every school in Thailand there is a certain amount of idolatry practiced every day. Pammy surprised me with a most encouraging testimony recently. She said Annie told her that her teacher had mildly rebuked her for not bowing before, and reverencing, the idol. Annie told her flat out, “I don't pray to, or bow before idols. I am a Christian.” I was tremendously impressed. I don't know where she got that. Of course, that is our position, but we had never discussed that problem at school with her. Unless Pammy had talked with her about it, she must have gotten that directly from the Holy Spirit.

 

I mentioned in my letter past week how we had spoken to Sangha and Lek about accepting Jesus, and their response, that if they got saved that would be the end of their school. I was amazed that they would be that clear about compromise even before they are saved. We haven't had much opportunity to follow up on that since then. But last Thursday, after my class Sangha tackled Pammy about forgiveness. He brought it up. Again we had an outstanding opportunity to present the salvation of Christ to him. I told him flat out, that if Jesus didn't forgive his sins, they weren't going to be forgiven; and he would be judged for them at the Final Judgment day. He is not backing off from his quest for salvation. I believe it is just a matter of time, and that probably won't be too long. But he must prepare for the eventuality that they might get closed down by the Thai government if and when they get saved. They had other commitments last Friday night so we couldn't discuss that problem further, but I am sure the Lord will continue to lead them along.

 

There is much I wanted to talk about today, but I am out of time and space now. The main thing is the world situation, the economic and political picture in the states, and Bible prophecy. I am tremendous impressed with the shortness of the time we have left. The Lord has given us a unique position here, but it is doubtful how much time we have left. This gives an increased urgency to our message.

 

I don't envy your position in the states at all. Somehow that looks like an awfully dangerous place to me. It is not just that it is dangerous, but it looks extremely difficult. Our testimony here with the Thai Buddhist is a whole lot easier than what you have to deal with there. But Jesus is the Lord of the harvest, and He will reward each one according to their faithfulness.

 

Gambatte for Jesus (hang tough, give it your best shot),

bill