Transformation

17 May 2015

Dear Phyllis,

June 1957 was the pivotal moment of my life. It was at 9:30 at night, on 7^th of June as I was standing beside my military barracks that I said Yes to Jesus and accepted Him in my heart as my savior. I had no more idea of Christianity than a savage in Papua New Guinea, but that was the beginning of an amazing road. The first year was easily the most critical as the Jesus began to reveal Himself to me in four different ways – two internally and two externally.

The first thing that amazed me was the transformation inside. The biggest problem I had in my life was a filthy mouth. I couldn't say a sentence without punctuating it with profanity. For me to quit swearing was as impossible as a crow breathing water like a fish. But from that moment on, profanity was completely gone. I can honestly say, for the next 58 years I have not slipped once in uttering a profane word. Along with my dirty mouth I was amazed that my heart was clean. My sexual frustration was gone and I was relaxed inside.

The second internal thing was that I was beginning to experience the Voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart. I never knew that God had a Voice and that He spoke directly to people. But suddenly I began to be aware that God was speaking and guiding me in ways that I never dreamed possible.

In the external ways, I began to realize that God had His hand on me and directing the events in my life. The first major one was dramatic. There had been a rash of accidents in the USAF pilot training program. There was a meeting in the base auditorium for all pilots and we were severely warned that the next pilot caught doing illegal maneuvers would be court marshaled. Shortly after that I was out solo one afternoon practicing aerobatics. There were strict regulations on how to perform these, but I liked the wild stuff. We were supposed to use clearing turns but I was using a barrel role for a clearing turn and going end over end doing chandells, split S, Cuban 8s and everything in the book. I had just rolled inverted when I saw an aircraft headed my way. I knew that could be trouble so I immediately leveled off and took up a heading of 180. I flew for a few minutes and did a shallow bank. Sure enough that bird was chasing me. There was a cloud about 30 miles away so I headed for that. I dove in that cloud, did a slight bank left and then a snap bank right. I knew if that didn't do it, it was all over. I looked out the side of the canopy, and the chase plane was sitting on my wing calling my tail number. Three minutes later the tower called me instructing me to return and land immediately. I knew I had had the course. I returned and reported to our flight commander who told me I was grounded until further notice. I was dead meat.

My instructor, Sonny Stevens, was gone that day, so that night I went to his house to talk with him. There was no one home but his neighbor told me that the Stevens were having marital problems. That gave me a deeper concern for Mr. Stevens than my own plight. Monday morning I went with the rest of the flight to the flight line and reported to Cmdr. Hightower. Graham Air Base was a civilian base with civilian instructors. The instructor who caught me was a civilian and he had called in on a private radio frequency so the incident had never been reported to the military officials. Cmdr. Hightower had discussed my matter with the civilian squadron commander above him who left it in Hightower's hands to discipline me as he thought fit. Cmdr. Hightower told me, “I don't believe in hanging a man on first offense. You are clear to fly your cross country.” Oh me! I didn't need an engine that day. I was so happy I could fly that entire cross country with the engine turned off.

But the Lord taught me two things through that incident. First of all, I knew it was pure mercy that saved me, and it was a very stern warning from God not to mess up again. That put a deep fear of God in my heart that saved me from a tremendous amount of foolishness in the subsequent years that were to follow. Secondly it was through that issue that I had a great burden to pray for Mr. Stevens. I had a tremendous desire to witness to him about Jesus, but military discipline forbid any fraternization between students and instructors.

It wasn't long after that that my instructor failed to show up one morning. At 8:30 in the morning the Lord told me everything that was going to happen that day. At 9:00 o'clock I spoke with Cmdr. Hightower explaining that my instructor wasn't there, I was ahead on flying time, and could I have the morning off? Certainly. I ran back to the barracks, changed my clothes, grabbed my Bible, and took off for Mr. Steven's house. When I got there I was shocked to discover that there was nobody home. Greatly confused, I started to walk away when the Lord said to me, “He is there.”. I went back and looked in the bed room window. Sure enough, Mr. Stevens was drunk in bed. The sliding glass door to the bed room was partially open, so I open the door, walked in and said, “Good morning, sir. It's time to get up”. I went in the kitchen to fix some coffee and wash a stack of dirty dishes. Soon Mr. Stevens was dressed and joined me in the kitchen. He turned on the TV and went to the bathroom. I turned the TV off. He came back turned on the TV and went to the bathroom again. I turned it off. This was getting ridiculous. I cried, “Lord, You have done a miracle but I can't break the ice to witness to him.” The third time he came back carrying an arm load of old year books. When he opened the first page there was a picture of the base chapel. I knew immediately the key. I said, “Sir, do you ever go to the chapel?” What happened in the next 15 minutes was an event recorded in heaven. I shared with him how Jesus had come in my heart and made me a totally new person. It was unbelievable. As I shared Christ with him, Mr. Stevens literally crawled half way across the table and was nose to nose listening to me. Oh my goodness! My shoes never touched the ground as I floated back to the barracks.

I desperately wanted to talk to him some more but ridged formal military regulations were in place and I never had another chance. When we graduated, school was out and all barriers were down. There were three of us who were assigned to Mr. Stevens. We all loved him and chipped in to buy him a pistol for a graduation present. We wanted to have a celebration by going out together and present the pistol to him. I went beyond that and bought him a Bible.

Friday night came and it was a disaster. Mr. Stevens had started off the evening at the Officers Club and was half drunk when he came to pick us up. We went to an Italian restaurant for the meal, but the devil owned the night. More beer. At 9:00 the other two fellows wanted to go with him to a bar but we had to sign in first. Mr. Stevens was pretty plastered when we got in the car and he sat on the box with the Bible in it. In his stupor he pulled it out and asked, “What is this?” “I'm sorry, sir. This is no time to talk about that. You can look at it tomorrow.” We signed in and I was totally defeated. It was the devils party. I leaving the Orderly Room to go back to the barracks when I saw Mr. Stevens hiding in a bush. He called me over and said, “I opened the box.”. Then he threw his arms around me an cried, “No one has ever loved me like this.”. In the next two minutes I shared with him, “Sir, I have found life in that Book. Jesus has changed my life.”. Oh me! What a night! What a night!! What a victory!!!

From Mariana I went up to Greenville, Miss. for jet school. Sonny Stevens had quit instructing and returned to his home in Tupolo, Miss. When I finished flight school, I wanted to go see my old instructor one more time before leaving Mississippi. One Friday night I borrowed a car and drove 100 miles to Tupolo. Sonny's wife had left him and he was living by himself on his home farm. It was a little late when I got there and he fixed supper for me. While I was eating he brought a box over to show me. “Do you remember this?” Inside was a well worn, well marked Bible. “I'm teaching Sunday School now.”Sonny was saved.

Oh what can I say? Jesus is wonderful! Fifty eight years later I look back and can't believe the grace of God. It is like it was yesterday. Oh the miracle! God laid His hand on a poor lost cadet. He revealed Himself to me internally by the new-birth and the indwelling Holy Spirit. And externally by showing me He was directing my life and giving me a deep fear of God. And He taught me that His ways are different. We have our ways but God will get His work done His own way. Oh, thank You Jesus,

                                                    bill

End of an Era

10 May 2015

Dear Phyllis,

Well I did it. I believe I have just had my last motor bike ride. I was going to school Tuesday morning riding Pammy's bike. Our highway is four lane with a place for U turns about 400 meters from the entrance to our muban (housing area). I was doing a very conservative 40km. A car did a U turn about 50 meters in front of me. All it would require is moderate braking or go around. Suddenly the rear wheel locked and I went crashing to the highway. Fortunately there wasn't a car behind me – or I didn't see one – but instantly there was a crowd of people standing around me. Apart from jamming my right shoulder and losing a fair bit of skin from several places on my body, I was confident there there was nothing serious wrong. I told every one, “I'm okay”. Someone helped me get to my feet and someone else picked up the bike and wheeled it to the side of the road. A fellow who spoke fair English said, “Just a minute, we'll have an ambulance here”. I replied, “No, you won't. I'm going home.” Man howdy did that start a squall. I have been riding with no drivers license for several years and I knew if the police showed up I would be in jail for several years. (That is slightly evangelistic but I would be in trouble with the police.) I was panic stricken to get out of there, but he took the keys to the bike. I started to walk home but three men grabbed me. Finally I said, “Call my wife”. He got Pammy on the phone and pretty soon she showed up.

Then the ambulance came. Another big problem. I said, “Go home. I'm fine. I don't need an ambulance.” Forcefully, I got loaded in the ambulance. Then a very kind policeman showed. He was probably 50 years old and was more like a friendly mailman than a police officer. He chatted with the men standing there but never spoke a word to me. He saw my cowboy hat and must have assumed I was a tourist. He took a picture of my expired Japanese drivers license which is fine as no one can read Japanese and assumed it was a good license.

My first surprise came when we got to the hospital. I was really surprised how difficult it was to get out of that ambulance and extremely difficult to sit in a wheel chair. They took me in emergency and a nurse began to wash out and disinfect five or six places on my body that were bleeding. Then they took me down to X-ray. I protested, “I don't need an X-ray. No broken bones”. I was shocked when ten minutes the X-ray man came out and said, “You have a broken arm”. He showed me the X-ray and it was a small crack on the ball of the humerus joining the shoulder socket. It was amazing that the shoulder socket didn't shatter.

I looked up and was startled to see my dear friend Pascal standing there. He had come to the house and learned that I was in the hospital. I was wondering how we were going to get home. The kindness of the Lord broke my heart and I wept and wept. At the time of the accident there was enough adrenaline to keep me going, but two hours later my body was starting to behave poorly. Pascal had driven us home and got a chair for me to sit in. The simple things in life became major crisis. How can I get my buckle undone? How can I get my pants off? It wasn't funny. Privacy prevents me from describing detail, but Pascal performed some of the greatest acts of love I have ever seen in my life. I weep to think about it.

I learned from cutting my hand 15 years ago, when you have a serious injury, that the entire body closes down and all the energy goes to the wounded part. Around noon I tried to go up stairs to my bedroom. I nearly died. I got to the landing halfway up and felt like I had just run the Boston Marathon. My entire body was drenched with sweat. I was sick to my stomach, and I was so faint that I was within a hair of passing out. Pammy got me a chair, and after five or ten minuets I recovered composure enough to go on up the remaining steps. But again I was so shot I was seriously faint.

Being bed was awful. If I kept my arm totally immobilized the pain level was tolerable. But any movement, the pain level made any attempt to move or sit up utterly prohibitive. Pammy made several attempts to help me get out of bed but all were to no avail. Pammy went to bed around 10:30 but I hadn't been to the bathroom for over 12 hours. I remembered the story of a fellow who got his leg pinned under a tree and cut his leg off to get extracted. I vowed, “If he can do it I can do it.” It was awful, but after 15 or 20 minutes of excruciating squirming and wiggling around I was finally able to drop down out of the bed on my knees. Again I broke out in sweat and got horribly faint. Once on my knees it was more manageable to pull myself up to standing on my feet. Oh hallelujah. My strength reservoir that night was about five to ten steps.

Recovery has been slow. Today is the 6^th day. My mobility is about 10%, but that is fantastic. That is 10 times better than I was Tuesday and Wednesday. Singha and his wife came by to see me this afternoon. You would have a hard time convincing me that they didn't float down out of a cloud on white wings. Angels with wings could not be more wonderful. We hugged and cried until we wet each others shoulder. They went and bought supplies and then came back to cleanse and change the bandages on my wounds. There is still considerable bleeding and those patches hadn't been off since Tuesday. The right elbow is particularly bad and I have gotten a lot of blood on every thing I have sat or laid on since Tuesday.

I say this may be my last time on a bike. I have come to a major intersection in life. I have always maintained I hadn't aged a day since I was 30. The cause of this accident is 100% neurological. It was just an old man that has no business riding a motor bike. When the rear wheel locked it felt like someone else had done it and my reaction time was too slow to release it. For the first time in my life I feel permanently grounded. I had every intention of riding for another 10 or 15 years, but if in a moderate situation that is the way I handle it then it is sayonara. I'm okay. I'm fine. Jesus will be here soon and I will get a new body.

Arigato gozaimasu, bill

PS: Oh Jesus is WONDERFUL! I cannot tell you, I cannot tell you, I cannot tell you HOW WONDERFUL JESUS IS!

View From the Mountain Top

3 May 2015

Dear Phyllis,

Nothing is so revealing as time. Andrew Murray said that persevering to the end is the only certain proof of those who are saved. I think He is right. Unless you want to accept the Armenian position that salvation is like musical chairs where you can be saved and lost, saved and lost, and hope you are on a chair when the music stops. One time I was conducting a wedding. When it was over I said, “In 20 years we will see what has happened here today.” Tragically, 50% of the Christian wedding conducted in the states today will wind up in divorce.

The biggest events in this past week were in Nepal and Baltimore. Nepal got rocked with a 7.8 earthquake. Having been in that country and knowing how those buildings are put together it was no surprise to see the piles of rubble on the news. The last I heard no one had an accurate number of the dead but the speculation is somewhere around 10,000. I think that is amazingly low. It was not only Kathmandu that suffered but hundreds of villages where massive landslides came down and cut off roads. And those on Mt. Everest had no where to go when there were massive avalanches coming down that mountain. Man that would be a bad place to be when the earth starts to shake.

And Baltimore. Oh my goodness what a mess. If liberalism was ever on display, the world got a good look at the marvels of liberalism with Baltimore on fire. To say that was predictable would be like saying it is predictable that you will get wet if you jump overboard from a ship. But blind people are blind. Several years ago I was riding a bus in Laos. The man sitting next to me was a true communist from Turkey. I somewhat enjoyed his speal. I told him, “I thought everyone was dead but it is interesting to see that there are still a few holdovers in the world”. I found his arguments amusing. I countered by saying, “You have had 50 years of your showcase window trophies set before us in East Germany, North Korea, Cuba, Eastern Europe, Russia and any place where communism has been permitted to prosper. The comparison between East and West Germany, and North and South Korea are brilliant examples of which system works best. Liberalism certainly has had an honest opportunity to show us its merits in Baltimore, Detroit, and Chicago. Forty years of liberal administrations have reduced these cities to anarchy. At the same time Rudy Giuliani took a city that was a disaster zone and restored it to be a model. I told my communist seat-mate in Laos, where people are allowed to work unfettered you have prosperity, but where socialism and communism prevail you have a bloated government and starving people. Poor Baltimore, that tragic city has been saddled but a disgusting, incompetent, mayor and administration that produced anarchy that has set the city back decades – if it ever can recover. In like manner I fear Baltimore is only a microcosm of what America is heading for in the very near future. We are half way there right now. And people think they can avoid the judgment of God???

This past week little has happened here except I sat on my balcony writing my comments on the Song of Solomon. At last I have come to peace on that subject. What I am writing is not to share with others but I am simply doing this because I feel Jesus has told me to and what I write is only private between Jesus and myself. But oh my goodness the Word has burned in my heart.

This morning I was writing about S of S 4:8 which is an amazing invitation by Jesus to come with Him and look from the top of three mountains. That word COME sounds like a trumpet to me. I have told the Lord many times if He is inviting me to come with Him He can sign me up as a taker. I have told Him many times, “Lord, I will come. Let's go.” But my view of that has changed radically over the years. For many years I thought He was talking about a mountain top experience. But the Inverted Kingdom has taught me much. I have come to realize in God's Kingdom every thing is upside down. If that is true then that mountain top experience must be a very deep valley. It is true that spiritually you can see more from a valley experience than from those wonderful mountain top experiences.

Forty three years ago we were in the states staying at a Bible school for two years. At that school there were four outstanding young men. Over the years I have been interested in following the respective paths of these men. One went to France as a missionary. The head of that school took his top two and put them on the inside track to be promoted as deep men of God. He put them as the top teachers in the school and today one is the director. The fourth man got the shaft. At the time I thought the fourth man was easily the best man there but what happened to him was tragic. The way he got treated was almost criminal. Over the years this poor fellow has gone from one tragedy to another. The two who were given the five star rating have stayed at the school for forty years and been insulated from problems. My heart has gone out to them. I feel they have been greatly short-changed in life. I have always felt the best thing that could have been done for them would be to send them to the mission field and let them get the guts kicked out of them. Let them get hammered until they are glassy eyed. Let them get kicked from pillar to post and then bring them home to teach. But tragically they were deprived that experience.

Today the man who had the roof fall in on him and whose life has been a disaster is easily the most outstanding man of God. The other day he wrote me a letter saying, “I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone, but from my heart I thank God for everything that has happened to me. I wouldn't change a thing”. That brother has been with Jesus on the mountain top. He has seen life from a perspective that is unseen from those who haven't had his experience. Boot camp for special forces is not a place where you sit all day beside a pool drinking ice tea and watching TV. And the top men for Jesus are those that He has trained in His boot camp. If Jesus has invited us to go with Him to the mountain tops lets go, but best we keep in mind that this trip will be different than what we expect. But the view from up here is priceless.

How gracious of Jesus to invite us to go with Him. Let's go.

                                                                                                              bill