Tenri and John Cathcart

27 May 2018

Dear Phyllis,

Located in the center of Nara prefecture is the weirdest city in Japan. Tenri city is the Salt Lake City of Japan. What Mormonism is to Salt Lake Tenri-kyo (Tenri religion) is to Tenri City. The religion is the town. Tenri-kyo is the third largest religion in Japan and it is unique that the followers all wear black happy coats with Tenri-kyo written in white letters on the back. That is the spookiest town I have ever been in. It is a city of 70,000 people but no one had the courage to raise the flag for Jesus there until John Cathcart showed up in 1982.

When the Christian history of Japan is written John Cathcart's name has got to be listed with the great men of God. John was the most child-like man I ever met. He was so simple he would do things that no one in their right mind would think of. John was the grandson of the raw-bone, Pentecostal war-horse, Leonard Kute that started the Ikoma Bible school in 1935. John came to Japan in 1982 and after getting a little handle on the language he started an embryo church on the 2^nd floor over Mr. Donuts across the street from the Tenri eki (train station). After a year he got put out of there and moved to Imais piano store, but that didn't last long. John was having such a hard time trying to find someone who would rent him space to have a church he finally decided his only chance was to build a church.

He found an old lady working in a field and asked her if he could rent her rice field to build a church. Typically the obaa chan said yes but he would have to talk to her husband. John asked me if I would go with him to interpret in talking to the man about renting land for a church. We hadn't been there long before the husband understood we were talking about building a Christian church and uncharacteristically invited us to leave. From there we went to a small pharmacy that John had heard owned a rice field. Fujita san listened to us politely and replied, “Please come back in two weeks”. Sure. That is polite Japanese for no. Only John was dumb enough to go back and stunningly Fujita san said Yes he would rent John the rice field. “How much would you like to pay?” John replied, “How about $50?” Unbelievably, Fujita san said “Fine”.

John went to the states to buy all the lumber for a church and asked Wirt Edmonds to come build it. That was the beginning of an unbelievable saga. We were half way done with the construction of the church when Fujita told us the miracle that Jesus had done to make this possible.

From the early part of the 20^th century Japan had invaded and colonized Korea and Manchuria. They had sent tens of thousands of civilians there to be the administrators of their new colony. Fujita had gone there to do a civilian job. The day after the Americans dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima Russia declared war on Japan and got in trucks racing across Manchuria to grab as much of the spoils of war as possible. The President Truman gave Stalin a good portion of Manchuria and North Korea. But for the Japanese trapped in that area it was a death warrant. A quarter of a million Japanese soldiers wound up in Russian gulags in Siberia, many of whom died there. For the civilians it was virtually to be shot on sight. Thousands were killed in the streets. Fujita san was with these stranded Japanese civilians desperately trying to get to the coast to get back to Japan. Mercifully a kind Korean family had pity on him, took him in, hid him for several weeks, and helped him ultimately to make his way to the coast where he got on a ship to return to Japan. He owed his life to them.

There is an unusual thing in the Japanese called “giri”. Basically giri means indebtedness. When someone does something special for you it is an inviolatal law that you have to do something in return. Giri is a very deep law in the minds of Japanese. For 39 years Fujita san had struggled with a terrible weight of giri on his heart. He desperately wanted to go back to Korea and pay back the family that saved him. But that was impossible. There was no way he could go to North Korea to thank and pay back the kind people to whom he owed his life. Then one day a wonderful thought struck his mind. A blue eyed gaijin walked in his store and asked if he could rent his rice field. Anyone who is not Japanese is a gaijin (foreigner). To him the Koreans were gaijins. If he couldn't repay the gaijins who helped him he could pay his giri by helping a gaijin that needed his rice field.

The Bible says that God will use the wrath of man to praise Him (Ps. 76:10). One of the great mysteries of providence is that God used the barbarous Russian soldiers to set the stage for what proved to be the key that opened the door to establish a church in Tenri. It was that scene of Russians killing Japanese on sight that resulted in the Korean family taking Fujita san in, and it was that weight of giri that moved his heart to rent his field to John for the church.

That was 34 years ago. John called his church Kami no Ai Kyokai (The Love of God Church). Since then it has gone through several pastors. After Russia opened up, in 1991 John and Gloria went to Vladivostok to be missionaries there and left the church with Sam and Haeho Benedict. I have always been close to it and had the privilege of speaking in that church many times. At one point, in my homeless days, I lived in the church for three months.

John was in Russia for two years and returned briefly to Japan. It was about 1994 that John decided to call it a day for being a missionary and return to the states. I was bitterly disappointed and questioned his guidance. I asked, “After doing so marvelously for 20 years why in the world are you quitting now?”. John had a very rational answer. He said, “I am going home to save my family. My children are so confused they don't know who they are, They don't know if they are Americans, or if they are Japanese, or Russians. I'm going home to save my children and will be back.”

He wound up living near Helena, Montana and built a log cabin 100 yards from the continental divide. He stated a church called Last Chance Chapel. I thought only John Cathcart would start a church and call it the last Chance, but I was surprised when John told me that is actually the name of the town. I had the privilege of speaking there 10 years ago and found it one of the best churches in America. His guidance has paid off and all his children are doing spectacular. Three of them came back to Japan and all of them are as outstanding as any you could wish for. Joseph and his wife Whitney are full time in Japan and doing extremely well. John did a very wise thing in going home to produce four children that are cut out of the same block and carrying on the work he started.

Sam and Haeho Benedict have also done well and their eldest son Caleb is now the pastor of the original church. After Caleb took over he changed the name to Life Song but it is still he same old witness for Christ in a dark city. I had the privilege of attending there two times the last time I was in Japan.

Tenri is no longer the foreboding weird city it was 36 years ago. It feels just like any other city I have been to. The flag of Jesus has been raised there and from it have grown several other churches. The devils bluff and curse has been broken. It took a crazy guy to do it but that crazy man has cut a path for Christ a mile wide and it is a joy to see the fruit of his vision when no one else dared to move. And running the clock back to 1946, who would have believed the Lord would use the wanton killing by Russian soldiers to be the key that made all this possible? Truly His ways are beyond our understanding.

Three cheers for Jesus,

                                      bill

Mitsuko

20 May 2018

Dear Phyllis,

Last week I wrote you about Betty Whewell and the Mino Mission. I enjoyed that so much I decided to write another testimony letter today. The other morning the Lord woke me up thinking about a girl that hadn't crossed my mind in probably several years.

In the fall of 1970 a pretty young girl got on the train in Nagano. She knew that there were many gaijins (foreigners) living in Karuizawa. Her ambition was to become a JAL airline stewardess, but to do that she had to pass an English test. Her best chance to learn English was to live with a gaijin family. She got off the train in Karuizawa and started walking up the street to the famous part of town, “kyudo”. As she walked past Tanaka's motor bike shop she stopped and asked if they knew any gaijins. They told her her best chance was to go to the Japanese language school and talk to Bill Cook. Twenty minutes later, Mitsuko  walked in my office.

She explained to me that she would work for free as a maid if she could stay with me. I would have taken her but Rosemary and I had just been married and had a little Nepalese boy, Ritu, living with us. But Dick and Millie Dennis lived in town. Dick Dennis was one of the finest missionaries I ever met. Dick was a very ordinary man with no special gifts. His preaching, at best might, have gotten a C+, but he only had one sting on his banjo. The only thing he was interested in was the Gospel and getting people saved. They never had a lock on their door and would take anybody that came along. So Mitsuko wound up living with them for almost two years. And that was the beginning of a legend.

She was as much apart of their family as there own children and Dick was like a father to her. Although she never lived with us, in view of the fact that it was through me that I introduced her to the Dennises, and we were very close, I was like a Dutch uncle to her. She later told me how much she feared me. She hadn't been in karuizawa long before she came to visit the language school one day. Mitsuko had on a shocking mini skirt. I told her, “Get that skirt off and put on some clothes. I don't want to see you walking around here half naked.” One day she was wearing a sweater with a Playboy bunny insignia on it. I asked her, “Do you know what that insignia on your sweater means?” Of course she didn't. When I told her about the meaning of Playboy she immediately got rid of that sweater and wore something more modest. She was always very intimidated by me, but I liked her very much, and we were good friends.

Dick was as consistent about Bible study as any man in town. If you lived in the Dennis house it was determined that you had to be at every Bible study every day. Dick seldom sat at a table that he didn't have the Bible open and everyone in that house got as solid a grounding as students in a Bible school. Dick was constantly going out for dendo (evangelism), and it was a rule that everyone had to go with him. If you lived in the Dennis house you didn't have much choice but you had to get saved. Mitsuko hadn't been living with Dick and Millie long before he came to tell me that Mitsuko had been saved. That lasted about a week. Over the passage of time we lost track of the number of times she got saved, but it seemed like it would only last until she had her next monthly period.

After living with the Dennises for a couple of years Mitsuko felt ready to take her test to be a JAL airline stewardess. Surprisingly she failed the test, but somehow another job opened up for her to be the receptionist for the JAL CEO. All she had to do was look pretty, greet the people who came to see the CEO, and pour tea for them. It really was a pretty easy job, but a good one and stable. The biggest problem was that his office was at the Narita airport; that was 70 km from Tokyo and over 200 km from Karuizawa. That was more or less the end of Mitsuko and we seldom saw her after she moved to Narita.

About that time Rosemary and I went to the states for furlough and were there for two years. Shortly after we got back to Karuizawa we had a call from Mitsuko. The Dennis family were in the states at the time but she wanted to come visit us on Saturday. When I went to the eki (train station) to pick her up I was shocked. It had been two or three years since the last time we met and I almost didn't recognize her. Previously she had been one sharp chick. She had been a contestant in the Miss Nagano beauty pageant and she had all the equipment to be a high runner-up. But now she was totally transformed. She was a very plain girl. Unexplainably the outward attractiveness was gone. She looked just like anyone else you might see on a train. There was nothing in her that would turn your head. And yet there was an inward quality that you seldom see. Inwardly she was gorgeous. She was a rare spiritual beauty. I was stunned. I asked her, “What in the world happened to you? You look radically different.”

Mitsuko told me when she was in Karuizawa she had no option but she had to behave herself and be a Christian. She was constantly propped up and couldn't be anything else. There was no way she could fall when she was living with Dick and Millie. But when she moved to Narita her world was totally different. She was on her own. There was no one around her looking at her and she was responsible to no one. For the first time in her life she was completely free to do anything she wanted. There she faced a crisis. What was she going to do with Jesus? Was she going to follow Him or go the way of sin? It was then that she made her choice to be a genuine follower of Christ. She told me, “When I started walking with the Lord by myself at Narita it was then that Jesus became a reality in my life.”

Oh my goodness, I never saw such a radical change. For a long time after that, if I was ever talking about spiritual beauty I would always use her as an illustration for anyone her knew her. Mitsuko worked for JAL for a couple of years and then felt the Lord would have her quit and go to Bible school. It was there she met an outstanding young man who was going to be a pastor. Like many other young ladies from Bible schools she became a pastors wife, and they were a terrific couple. He did extremely well and they wound up having a very good church in Kobe.

It had been twenty years since the last time I had seen Mitsuko. They were living in Kobe when the historic Kobe earthquake struck in 1993. Bill Reese called me and told me that Mitsuko had called him asking if he could come down and help them with some damage to their property. I made arrangement to meet Bill at Miskito's house. What a time warp! Here we were in a pastors home with a faithful pastors wife who had a daughter just about the same age as that girl who first showed up at my office in Karuizawa. Oh what Jesus had done! This is exactly the way the Gospel is supposed to work. The Lord lays His Hand on lost wandering people and transforms them into beautiful spiritual objects to use for His Kingdom.

One of the most wonderful post scrips that came after that happened a few years later when I was working for NLL. We had a fine young girl from Kobe working at NLL. I asked Yuri chan how she got saved. She told me that her mother was a Christian and Mitsuko had led her mother to Christ. You talk about a good investment; there is one that bore fruit for three generation. That wandering young girl walking up the street in Karuizawa looking for a gaijin family had become a great witness for Christ. She had led another woman to Jesus and I had the privilege of working with her daughter 30 years later. Wish God would provide more Dick and Millie Dennis and a world full of Mitsukos. Isn't Jesus great?

             bill

Betty Whewell and Mino Mission

13 May 2018

Dear Phyllis,

It has been some time since the last I wrote about Miss Whewell and the Mino Mission, and I thought I would share another Betty Whewell story today. Mino Mission is the only place I have been where I felt sorry for the devil. When Hillary Clinton was 1^st lady in the White House she was so hated by the presidential security guards that they used her for departmental discipline. If a man messed up which required discipline, getting assigned to protect her was the worst possible assignment. In the structure of demons, if the devil had an errant demon that required discipline, getting assigned to Mino Mission would be the worst possible place to be. The devil took such a hammering there your heart almost went out to him. It was Jesus only and there was zero tolerance for anything else. If the devil ever dared to set foot on that property he was guaranteed to get his toe smashed. No body bucked Betty Whewll.

I told you of a time in 1935 when nationalism was raging and every Christian in Japan had their head down, Betty and the gang went up in the mountains of Gifu-ken (prefecture) to do dendo (evangelism). When they set up their banners and got ready for a street meeting a policeman saw this Christian group assembled, and came charging for an arrest. He confronted Betty and demanded, “Who do you think you are and what are you doing?” Betty faced him and replied, “I am Betty Whewell of the Mino Mission and we are here to preach Jesus.” His face blanched, he meekly replied, “Ah so desu ka” (oh is that true) and walked away.

Betty told me in 1938 when she had to take Miss Widner, the founder of Mino Mission, back to the states; as they were going through immigration in Yokohama the immigration official saw her passport that she was Betty Whewell and his face turned pale. It was a pity that she had to remain in the states during the war. Had she been in Japan the war might have ended two yeas sooner.

I told you in a previous letter how she was having tea with General MacArthur's wife and Mrs. MacArthur offered to give her a ride to downtown in Tokyo. As they passed the gate going out of the embassy residence the color guard was in full honor. Jean MacArthur chuckled and said, “There has been some miscommunication. This is an honor shown only to the General.” Betty grimly replied, “No, that was no mistake. God made them do that for me.”

Betty showed me a news paper clipping of a large picture of her shaking hands with the emperor. I asked her, “How in the world did you get that?” She said after the war, the emperor was on a tour and would be stopping in Yokkaichi. Being the most famous gaijin (foreigner) in that city, the city hall asked if she would care to be in a reception line to greet the emperor. Of course she was delighted. The day came, the emperor got off the train and started down the reception line. Of course everyone was right out flat with their head down bowing to him. Jane Smith was standing next to Betty and was a – not fully culturally adjusted - new missionary in those days. In her naivety Jane stepped forward, sticking her hand out, and said, “How do you do, your honor”. Betty, of course, knew better, but when she saw what Jane did she followed suit and stuck her hand out to greet the emperor. Just at that instant a barrage of cameras went off of photographers capturing moment. The next morning on the front page of the Nagoya Times and Yokkaichi News there was a large picture of a beaming Betty Whewell standing next to the diminutive Emperor Hirohito shaking hands. I wonder if that was the first time in his life anyone had ever touched him to shake his hand. It is possible that General MacArthur might have shaken hands with him the first time they met at MacArthur's residence at the US embassy, but apart from MacArthur, Betty, and Jane you probably could count the number of people who shook hands with the emperor on your fingers with your fist closed.

As an ordinary woman Betty was dominant, but she seemed to wield the same authority in the spirit world. One of their very dear Bible women, Uno sensei had tongue cancer. The doctors said the only hope to save her life was to cut her tongue out. Betty said, “The Lord gave you that tongue to praise Him and I am not going to allow a Buddhist doctor to cut it out. Uno sensei wanted the operation but resignedly said, “Shigata ga nai (nothing can be done) shinoo” (I'll die). Betty was able to get her in the top cancer hospital in Tokyo and they said the was one other possible option, but it was a tough one. They could stick a dozen radio active darning needles in her jaw with the points centered on the cancer. But that would be an extremely painful one week. Uno sensei said it really wasn't that bad. She was up cheerfully reading her Bible every day. At the end of the week they pulled the needles and saw she was cancer free.

I told you in a previous letter how the Buddhist used to have a parade going in front of the mission every summer. Betty heard the clang, clang, clang coming down the street. She closed the window and turned to the Lord saying, “Lord, I can't take it. You will have to deal with this.” Just as the parade got in front of the mission, suddenly a terrific storm broke out. The Buddhists dropped the idol and ran for cover. That was the last time a parade ever went in front of the mission.

In 1959 the famous Iseiwan typhoon came up Nagoya bay and inundated that entire area of Japan. Over 5,000 people died in Nagoya. Mino Mission was right on the beach in Yokkaichi where the flood water came ashore. Twelve feet of water covered every thing, but there were zero casualties within a radius of 500 meters on all sides around the mission. The testimonies of miracles that came out of that typhoon are too numerous list. One notable miracle was a 96 year old grandmother who floated on a tatami mat all night and when she was rescued the next morning she said, “Jesus is Lord and burned all her idols. Betty said she never saw such a bond fire burning idols.

Joe Carroll told of the first time he was preaching there; at the end of his message he gave an invitation or salvation, but no body moved. Betty got off the stage, went down to the crowed and laid hands on various men commanding, “You have been here long enough. Get up there and get saved.” Joe was stunned and said, “Who does that lady think she is? The Holy Spirit?”. The men obediently went forward and got saved. And shockingly many of them stayed saved.

I always said Mino Mission was the most spiritually blessed place I had ever been; and it was the most challenging place for my flesh. The only way I kept my sanity was by an intense devotional life. If I had drifted more than 10 cm from Jesus I would have gone out of my mind. The Mino believers were people who had given up their cultural citizenship as Japanese and had become citizens of a different country where Jesus was King. But you had to be tough to hang in there. The spiritual testimonies were enormous but the horror stories of unimaginable oppression by Betty's flesh were equally numerous. Paul is right that flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God (1 Cor. 15:50), but until we are released from our natural bodies we are confined to live in the flesh and there must be some accommodation. Like many dynamic great Christian leaders Betty nearly destroyed the Mission she had made great. Over the years over 80% of the old-timers couldn't take it any longer and drifted to other solid Christian churches where they could breathe. The last time I preached there was awful. Five years later I met a boy who had been there that day. He remembered in detail the message I preached and said that was one of the best days of the year.

The Lord has been good to Betty Whewell and raised up Ishiguro's son, Isaac, to be the pastor, and Mino Mission is flourishing again. I can't imagine what it will be like to see the videos recorded in heaven, but I am sure it will be fun. And I am looking forward to meeting a very humble Betty Whewell when we talk with Jesus.

Gambatte (give it your best shot for Jesus), bill

Head over Heals in Love with Jesus

6 May 2018

Dear Phyllis,

For three weeks I have been writing you about the one thing that was the goal of David's life and my struggle to make it mine. I hoped we finished that subject last week, but it just keeps reverberating in my heart. What I have to say today is that I have changed my prayer – or maybe – just altered it. I said the most important pursuit in life was to spend your life beholding the beauty of the Lord and being on talking terms with God. I spent three letters talking about how to behold His beauty. What I said was good, but now I feel there is a better objective. May I suggest that the greatest pursuit in this life is to be head over heels in love with Jesus. In one sense this is not new as I was hitting around it last week. I said if we could see Him better, perhaps we would love Him more. That certainly is true. But to refocus that argument, it is not how well we see, but how much we love.

I have been pleading with the Father to give me a heart that only and passionately loves Jesus. Now I am nearly in despair that that will ever happen. Oh Lord, why can't I have such a heart? Lord, why don't You take off the blinders and let me see and love Your Son as I should? Lord, if there is anyone who should be standing in the front of the line, lifting up his voice the loudest in praise, thanks giving, appreciation, admiration ... for Your Son it should be me. Why then must I stand in the back of the line and be the most silent? Dear Phyllis, I wish my heart was a computer that I could copy and send part to you. But I can't put in words or compose what is in my heart. Light can be seen, but it cannot be transmitted to others. It can only be seen by the one looking at it. We might be able to try to talk about light in words, but human speech is not light. They are only words.

As I have despaired of ever having a heart aflame for Jesus I have asked the Father, if I can't have such a heart to at least let me have a heart that wishes it could. I have found my greatest joy now is looking at those who do love Jesus. Mary is my favorite. What a woman! Oh, what a heart! Oh, what a wonderful thing she chose. Maybe she should have been in the kitchen helping her sister but she just couldn't tare herself away from sitting there listening to her Lord. That is the kind of irresponsibility I like. Vanya was a courageous Christian in the Russian army. One morning he was late for the morning formation. His commander was furious and demanded an answer why he was late. He said, “I'm sorry, sir, but I was just praying and fellow-shipping with my Lord Jesus and I didn't realize what time it was”. Oh, to have that problem. I love to look at Mary's eyes. The gaze and the love in her eyes would melt ice cream in the freezer.

I have wondered with great bewilderment at the language found in the Song of Solomon. In particular I have wondered how Jesus could say such rapturous remarks about His Bride. But then I look at Mary I say, “Naruhodo, I see”. For those whose hearts are blazing with love for Him I can easily see why He views them as being so beautiful. I sit here wrapped up in an electric blanket trying to ward off hypothermia with a frozen heart, but there is warmth in looking at others. Every morning I read a letter from Samuel Rutherford and consistently tears begin to well up in my eyes. If I can't compose a heart-warming letter myself, the best thing I could do for you is to simply copy one of his letters and send it to you.

The Lord has given us at least three views of Mary. The first one is the supper in their house, in Luke 10, the second one is that painful experience when her brother died and Jesus didn't show up to save him in John 11, and the third one was when she crashed the supper in Simon's house, in Mark 14. Of the three views the last one may be the most significant. Of all the events that happened during the life of Christ this is the only one singled out by Jesus that would be preached hand and hand wherever the Gospel would be preached around the world (Mk. 14:9). What Mary did was a little over the top. That jar of spikenard was not just a bottle of perfume from her dresser. That was the most valuable item in the house. That was something that the Jews saved for their own funeral. That was a once-in-a-lifetime treasure. When we understand what it was, that gives us more of an appreciation for the consternation of the disciples who thought it was a waste. Judas was the first to express his dismay at this waste but all the disciple joined in. It was a little extreme but few loved Jesus like Mary did.

Ann Kimer was a woman who loved Jesus to an extreme. One time she was watching a high school football game and her team was getting drubbed. In the 4^th quarter she ran out on the field and got in the huddle. She said, “Boys, we have got to pray”, then she asked Jesus to bless the team. The 3^rd string quarter back threw the game winning touch down and the opposing team cried “Foul. It's not fair to have her pray like that”. Another time she was taking a plane and saw a poor soldier saying a tearful farewell to his sweet heart. After they got on the plane she was sitting some distance from him; she got up and crawled across a long line of laps to speak to him about Jesus. He was stunned and asked, “Lady, did you crawl across all those laps to tell me this?” She didn't care if people thought she was nuts. Her love for the Lord caused her to do odd things.

This is fun. If I can't have eyes to see Jesus as I wish, and if my poor frozen heart can't generate heat enough to melt butter, at least I sure enjoy looking at those who do love the Lord. I'm sure the Father knew that we would have that problem and that is the reason He has given us examples to show us how it is supposed to work. In all cases, where the law of love is operative, that dictates choices and actions. Parents who love their children will ignore serious danger to rescue their children. Early at the beginning of the last century King Edward, the king of England, gave up his throne to marry a woman he loved. Boys who love football don't care how cold it is or how muddy they get if only they can play the game they love. The law of love is universal. It will determine what is most important in our lives. We might wish we could love Jesus more, but even if we can't at least we can admire those who do. Mary is a perfect model. I believe this is why Jesus said what she did would be preached hand in glove with the Gospel around the world. This is the name of the game. This is the way the system is supposed to work. This is what the Gospel is supposed to produce. And looking at her does help.

Mary might have wasted the most precious thing she had in the house to anoint Jesus but her reward more than repaid her loss. No doubt there were thousands of homes in Israel that had jars of spikenard sitting on shelves to be used for their burial, but Mary got the greatest prize in the Bible. By using that which was supposed to be for her own funeral she was able to do what no one else could do. There were five other women who wanted to anoint Jesus, but they were too late. He was risen from the dead. Mary came beforehand (Jn. 12:7). If we want to do something for Jesus, we better do it now. Later will be too late. We can't pour out our lives for Jesus in heaven. Many Christian organizations and Christians school advertise a wonderful plan where you can have your cake and eat it both. They suggest that you set up an annuity plan to sign over your inheritance to them so you can live comfortably now and have the assurance that when you die your wealth will go to a worthy Christian organization. There is only one flaw with that plan. You can't give an offering to the Lord with dead hands. If you don't do it while you are alive it doesn't count later.

Dear Phyllis, pray for me. In my heart I want to love and serve the Lord but my hands are empty. I have nothing to give Him. I am like a child in church who has to ask his father for a quarter to put in the offering plate. I want to be like Mary and do what I can today.

Lord Jesus, even if I can't love You like I should, at least let me imagination that I do.

                                                        bill

Behold the Beauty of the Lord

One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after …. to behold the beauty of the Lord and enquire in His temple. Ps 27:4

29 April 2018

Dear Phyllis,

Three weeks ago I started a series discussing Psalm 27:4. I hope we can get through it today. I told you how 55 years ago I heard a message by Joe Carroll on this text of the secret of David's life; and chose it to be my life verse. For 30 years I preached on it until my life came unglued and the Lord told me I had been talking about it for years but never practiced it. Then when I quit praying for my family salvation and trying to get out of a horrible hole personally; I made the decision to seek the one thing that was David's goal of beholding the beauty of the Lord. I was surprised that I could see nothing. That brought up four basic questions of: (1) are you supposed to see something? (2) what are you supposed to see? (3) how do you see it? and (4) if you don't see anything – why?

In answer to my prayer the Lord started at the end and told me the reason I couldn't see anything was because of poor eye sight. And He told me He had some eye salve to help that problem if I was willing to pay the price. Next He told me that seeing the Lord was not by imagination but only by the revelation of the Holy Spirit. But then what were you supposed to see was the final big issue. That is what I want to talk about today.

For many years I thought seeing the beauty of the Lord was imagining Jesus sitting on His Throne in heaven. Last week I told about Todd Bentley who had had several celestial visitations and had seen and talked with Jesus sitting on His Throne in heaven. Bentley said Jesus was indescribably handsome and had massive mussels. But when John saw Jesus sitting on His Throne He looked like a Lamb that had been slain. The main thing the Lord showed me was His beauty was not the physical appearance of what Jesus looks like but his moral character. His character is the beauty of the Lord.

I know a girl here in Chiang Mai who has an ugly face that only a mother could love. But that girl is one of the finest missionaries I know. Her love for the Lord, her dedication, her love for others is amazing. She is one of the most beautiful women I know. She is beautiful inside. I know several women like that. I'm sure you do too. Genuine beauty is not looking like a Playboy model outside but the hidden beauty of the heart. Most of these Playboy models are some of the ugliest women I have ever seen. When I got off this physical kick and started examining the moral character of Jesus I began to see the beauty of the Lord.

When it comes to beholding the beauty of the Lord there are a couple of other things we must consider. John's experience on Patmos is very instructive. Right at the beginning he tells us he was on the island and heard a Voice behind him. Why was the Voice behind him? Because he was looking the wrong way. Very often Jesus is there but we are looking the wrong way. Looking at the wrong thing will keep us from seeing much of Christ. It is a little bit like looking at a glass of water that is half full. It could be half full or half empty depending on our frame of mind.

Another point is what Isiah saw. In Isaiah 6 we are told that the prophet saw the Lord and the Saraphims standing before the Throne. They were crying ceaselessly “Holy, holy, holy; the earth is full of His glory”. That was news to Isiah. He didn't think the earth was full of His glory. He had just spent five chapters talking about all the problems he saw. When we turn to Revelation we see that John saw exactly the same thing that Isaiah did 600 years later. But John cast some light on why the Saraphims are so excited about the holiness of God. “They are full of eyes” (Rev. 4:6). They see the big picture. They see things that Isiah and John couldn't see. The earth is full of His glory but we don't see it all right now. That is one reason we don't have a full appreciation of the moral character of God. Some day we will see the total picture and then fully appreciate the marvel and wonder of His character. He will truly be beautiful then.

I have been talking about Ps. 27:4 for 55 years but it was as recently as last month that the Lord showed me something I had never seen before. The Lord showed me the NT example of someone doing what David was talking about. This is Mary as Luke describes her in Luke 10:38-42. Mary and her sister had invited Jesus to come to their house for supper. Martha was busy fixing the meal in the kitchen but Mary was sitting at Jesus feet listening to His Word. Martha lost her cool and protested to Jesus to tell Mary to quit sitting there and help her. We all know the story (read it!), but recently the Lord showed me that what Mary was doing was exactly what was David's goal in life, only Mary had the opportunity to actually sit there gazing at the Son of God lost in admiration for Him. The Lord showed me that if I wanted to see the beauty of the Lord to follow Mary's example.

But this brings up another problem. Jesus isn't here now and we can't invite Him for supper. Is it possible today to do and experience what Mary did? The answer is an emphatic yes. My argument for this is Samuel Rutherford. For anyone who has read his letters they see that the overwhelming central theme of nearly all his letters is the beauty of Jesus. If ever there were created beings who saw the beauty of the Lord and marveled, it was the four Saraphims before the Throne. If ever there was a person who saw and loved Jesus with a passion, it was Mary. If ever there was a man who sat beside Mary and was overcome with the beauty of the Lord, it was Samuel Rutherford. This brings me to where I am now. Realistically, we have a tremendous advantage over David, as the revelation we have of Jesus actually coming here to live among us is well beyond anything David imagined. And if Rutherford could see the Lord the way he obviously did that proves it is possible. My prayer to God now is to allow me to sit beside Rutherford and gaze upon the Jesus he saw. This is possible. And to a limited degree the Lord has heard my prayer. I say this because I know exactly what Rutherford was talking about. Very faintly I too have seen the Lord and what I can report is that all Rutherford wrote about is true. Oh, He is altogether lovely!

Gomen nasai (I'm sorry) Phyllis, this is a poor letter. I have been trying for three weeks to share with you my quest to seek the one thing that David said was his goal in life, and I have done a sorry job. All I can say is there has been progress. I know a lot more today than I did 55 years ago. Experience has taught me much. But oh, I see so little of what there is there to behold. It is easier to talk about how to behold than it is to actually see it. And it is easier to talk about beholding than it is to describe what I have seen. Even today I wanted to talk about Mary but could only mention her name. If the Holy Spirit is able to share with you what I have been unable to do, that is all I ask for. We can put this letter in the waste basket of literary composition. But then, spiritual revelation does not come by organized thought pattern.

In summery, as a young man I saw there were an innumerable objects to pursue. I saw the one thing that David said he would seek. Many years later I finally figured out what it was all about. I saw that Jesus said, “There is ONE thing needful” (Lk. 10:42) and what Mary got would not be taken from her. I saw that 1600 years later Samuel Rutherford was able to seek and enjoy the same thing. And from my heart I have asked Jesus, “Sign me up, Lord, I want in”.

Gomen nasai. I hope you got something out of this. Maybe next week we can talk about something different.

Until then, sayonara (bye bye), bill