Service with the IGO

27 February 2011

Dear Phyllis,

Wow! I wish I had some other word, but that is as close as I can come to describing it. I just came away from a Richter 8 meeting this morning. Jesus invited a select group of His special friends to have a love feast with Him in His House of Wine (S of S 2:4). It was something like few people ever see. Jesus broke out some of His most special wine which tasted like something this world has no idea that this exists. That wine was utterly intoxicating. And the most wonderful part of it was, the more you drank, the more your heart swelled up in love, worship, and appreciation to Jesus. This wine is an extraction that is not available on the open market. The only place I know where you can get it is in Jesus’ House of Wine.

I was at a lost to know where to go to service this morning. I called over to the Mennonite GTO center to see what they had going, and Ken told me that today was a combined service with IGO. My friend, Scott, has gotten pretty much hooked on IGO recently; so I called him to see if they were going there. They were. I rode along with them.

I have mentioned IGO to you several times previously. Institute for Global Opportunities was started by Val Yoder six or seven years ago as an unusual Mennonite Bible School, where young people come to Thailand for several months to a year for Bible School training; and where they also get first hand experience ministering in many countries ranging from Vietnam to Jordan.  Val Yoder is as godly a man as ever walked on this planet. Somehow he has managed to instill that spirit in a number of young people who have come here to learn how to walk with God. And the meetings they have are some of the finest I have ever been in.

The Bible tells us of rare occasions where the glory of God came down to fill the Temple, and the priest could not stand to minister (Ex. 40:34,35; 2 Chron. 5:14). I used to wonder what that was like. I know now. I have been in three or four meetings where I couldn’t stay on my feet. This morning, for several songs, I couldn’t sing. All I could do was sit there in silence as tears poured down my face totally overcome by the Person and the goodness of God. I don’t know how heaven could be much better. The only thing that I hope will be different is, that I hope I will be changed to enable me to stay on my feet. But if the Lord does not do something to make me stronger, or different, heaven will be totally out of the question for me. As close as I could come to worshiping before the Throne of the Lamb would be about 100 meters outside the gate of the City. Anything closer than that my heart would burst.

As I looked around the room at the folks gathered there it was almost like we were at a costume party. There were the oddest sorts of costumes there that people were clothed in. But regardless of what was on the outside, it was always the same Jesus who was living inside – clothed in odd human bodies. There was every one from tiny infants to white haired old grandmas. Going to a Mennonite meeting is the only place I have ever been where you can see white haired, little old grandmas, in long dresses, looking more like they should be in a nursing home, riding around on motor bikes. There were a large number of young ladies ranging from teens to probably 35. If the Bible teaches that women should not adorn themselves with jewelry and fancy hairdos – but with the hidden man of the heart (1 Pet. 3:3,4) – these sisters are the epitome of that. Of course all the sisters had head coverings. Several of them are probably attractive – I don’t know – but they are so modest it would be impossible to have a lustful thought.

There were a number of senior men who could almost pass for Amish. Mennonite cooking is world famous, and most of the men looked like they had been somewhat victimized by living in families where the food is so good it almost seems immoral to swallow it.

And as I looked around the crowd this morning I saw a number of young men I had been on missions with carrying Bibles into Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, and other places. I mean to tell you these men are first class! They are literally God’s Special Forces. They are as tough as they come. Danger means nothing to them. I have never been on missions with them where danger was simply not an issue. They will carry massive packs of Bibles on their backs for hours. I have been with them in some of the most arduous places, and I have never heard one man complaining of hardship. Three years ago one Mennonite team was riding a bus over a high mountain pass in China and got caught for 18 hours in a bad blizzard. It was freezing cold in that bus. The Mennonite boys had warm jackets and sleeping bags but they gave theirs things to the Chinese who were there freezing with them. They have had several teams who have trekked over 16,000 feet mountain passes in Tibet carrying heavy packs. You have got to be tough just to walk at that altitude. And to carry any weight you can only go a few feet and pant to catch your breath. No Mennonite has body piercing. There are no boys or girls with bones in their noses or funny dangles hanging from their ears. There are no tattoos. But they are the finest clean cut young people that America has ever produced.

As much as I intensely admire these courageous, committed, Christians, that was not what made the meeting so special this morning. It was the overwhelming awareness that Jesus was there. There were around 70-80 Christians gathered in a fairly small room. We were just having normal conversation with the person seated next to us, when suddenly someone in the back of the room burst out with “To God Be the Glory”. Immediately everyone joined in in unison worshipping the Lord. As we were singing, the leader walked up to the microphone up front to begin the service. Then the first song – Crown Him with Many Crowns”. I lasted 20 seconds. I broke down and couldn’t sing a note. We were there! We were standing before Jesus crowning Him with many crowns. As pitiful and unworthy as they were, we were still crowning Him with many crowns. I cannot describe to you what it was like. That lasted for 50 minutes. Oh, the singing was WONDERFUL! I know of no place in the world that can sing like the Mennonites. Many songs are two parts. The men and women sign back to each other. The women intensely enjoy being women and sing with gusto their part. Thinking of cross-gender would be horrifying. Everyone stands in their proper place before the Lord and He is intensely in the midst. It would be a shabby description if I tried to share with you what went on in that meeting this morning. But to make a gross understatement let me just say IT WAS GOOD!

After the meeting I was sharing with one brother what a wonderful service we had had that morning. He replied, “Yes, but that is what I would like to duplicate all over Thailand”. I said, “I could not agree more heartily, but I have no idea how you can do it.” The thing that makes meetings like that so unique is the Holy Spirit. It is because the Lord is there! You can have the same crowd, have the same identical service, and it could be so cold you could see your breath in July. How you can bottle up the Holy Spirit and transport Him from meeting to meeting is a question for which I have no answer. I have seen the phenomenon and know the difference, but why is a mystery to me.

I went to the Tuesday evening prayer meeting last week. I like Trevor Smith very much. Trevor is as good a brother as you will find anywhere. He and his wife have been medical missionaries in Thailand for over 40 years. I don’t know how you could improve on the way he conducts the prayer meeting. We always start out by singing a few worship songs. Then Trevor will say, “Let’s just have a time of worshiping the Lord. No intercession; no asking for anything, but let’s just tell Jesus how much we love Him.” Trevor always leads out with an appropriate prayer. After a brief pause then brother Bill (me) usually prays some poetic prayer. Then dead silence. Last week I was stunned, “How can it be?” There is no silence in heaven. The seraphims who stand in the immediate presence of the Lord cry ceaselessly, “Holy! Holy! Holy!” The Lord has done nothing for these seraphims. They know nothing about forgiveness of sin. The Lord doesn’t shower them daily with good gifts, and yet they are totally blown away by what they see of the Lord. Here we are, wicked, hell-deserving criminals that Jesus died for. We don’t know the 1/1000^th part of the goodness of God. And yet no one in the room can think of one word of thank you to cough up to Jesus. How in the world is that possible? What is the difference between what we had Tuesday night in chocking on dust, and this morning where we were feasting with Jesus in His House of Wine? Revelation. This is the difference.

 You could take two people and stand them on the rim of the Grand Canyon. One is just blown away, raving with marvel at that incredible sight. The other stands there no more touched than if he was shut up in a closet. What is the difference? One could see and the other man was blind. When the Lord pulls back the curtains, and reveals to us some of His beauty we are totally overwhelmed. But in the absence of spiritual revelation, we must resort to imagination – and that is a terribly dry exercise.

When John Bunyan shared with us the experience of Christian in his journey to the Celestial City, he said, the nearer he got to the River, the City came more into view. Unfortunately, I am afraid I have many dusty miles still in front of me before I can dip my toe in that River, but occasionally when I am on an unusual high mountain, I can see the City more clearly in the distance. And what I see thrills me beyond expression. May the very thought of that give fresh energy to take wider strides as we follow Jesus this week.

Your fellow traveler,

                                                                bill              

Last Night in Japan

20 February 2011

Dear Phyllis,

I’m home! Well almost. As the years pass, and I have been in so many different countries, I feel in a very real way that I am literally just a stranger passing through this world. But if there is one place that feels more like home than any other it is probably northern Thailand. It had been two years since last I was in Japan. In a surprising way, it felt like I was in a foreign land when I first got there. That certainly is a very strong sensation whenever I have been in the states in recent years. The only thing about the states and Japan that make me feel somewhat familiar is that I can understand the language. But when I got back to Chiang Mai last Thursday, and walked in my house, I felt like I was home. As much as I like it here, there is still the overriding sensation that my real home is in another world, and the Lord has assigned me to live in a foreign country for a little longer on a mission to tell others what He has done to bring humanity back to Himself.

I have mentioned a couple of times before that this seems like the finest period of my life. Spiritual reality has come into such clear focus, that I feel like I have just recently been saved. Spring has come to my soul. The warm sun of God’s goodness is shining in my heart melting the frozen land. As the ice melts the water is starting to flow. It is embarrassing but tears are very close to the surface. The last three times I have stood in a pulpit, the message of what I was trying to convey to the people has been so overwhelming to me, I have broke down weeping so hard I scarcely could project my voice. The last night I was in Japan was another very moving experience.

Yasuhiko and Miyuki Hirota are a very unique family. They are the only real family I have in the world. When I get to their house, rather than saying, “Gomen kudasai” (excuse me – I am here), I say, “Tadai ima” (I’m home). Yasuhiko and Miyuki are my brother and sister in the fullest sense of the word. I am not a guest in their home but a family member.

I remember when they both first came to our home 29 years ago as seekers. Neither one knew they were a seeker at that time but that is why God sent them. Yasuhiko was saved within the first month and Miyuki was saved the first night. No one knew what God had in store at that time. It is a cause of unceasing amazement to see Christ living and growing in them.

Yasuhiko is a very different man. He was the eldest son of a wealthly executive. As a young man he was a totally irresponsible playboy. As he was deprived of proper discipline while growing up, he has paid a very dear price for that in life. He is now 60 years old and is still as undisciplined as he was when he was 16. Yasuhiko is a very fine Christian who has been seriously following the Lord for 29 years, but he lacks the discipline to be a responsible business man.

Miyuki is the dead opposite. She was never one to play with dolls as a young girl. As she set out in life, her aim was to be a successful business woman. She had no interest in marriage or family, but was committed to being a career woman. Through no fault of her own, her first venture in business was a major failure. This left her shaken not to make the same mistake again, and originally came to me for fortune telling to give her advice on what she should pick for her next path in life. She was saved the first night, and has been on the single path of following Jesus ever since.

She never had warm feeling towards Yasuhiko but felt that he was the one in life that the Lord had directed her to join in serving the Him. What a shock! She was stunned that he wouldn’t get up in the morning to go to work, or return the calls to clients who called him. Miyuki said, if she wasn’t saved they would have been divorced the first six months. You talk about a dysfunctional marriage – here is a total disaster zone. But she was determined to follow Jesus. If this was the path He choose for her then she was determined to stay with it. I love them because they are extremely different temperaments, but Christ is the glue that has kept them together.

Due to Yasuhiko’s extremely wealthy father they were able to build a huge American house 22 years ago. They only live in a small portion of it, and everything they have is totally given to Christ for His use. After my world collapsed 20 years ago, I had no place to live and lived with them for eight months. During that time I encouraged them to have a katei shukai (home meeting) to reach their neighbors. Those were some of the most amazing meetings I have ever been in. Every Saturday night around 7:30 or 8:00 o’clock a select groups of friends would gather to meet around the Lord and His Word. Midnight would come and no one wanted to go home. Consistently, it would be 1:00, 2:00, or 3:00AM before we were finally able to call a halt to the meetings and go home. It was just like being in love and having a date with your lover. You just can’t force yourself to say goodnight.

They are no longer having those meetings but every time I am back with them, Miyuki calls some of the old friends to come over for fellowship. The last night I was in Japan we had another round of it. What an experience! We have our dreams of what it will be like to be in heaven and look back with amazement at the path the Lord brought us over. That night was like I was at a halfway house and the Lord gave me a brief preview. It wasn’t so special for the rest of the folks, but as I sat there, tears coursed down my face as I was overwhelmed at the grace of God and all He has done.

The Hirotas are a never ceasing living miracle of a couple who have proven the Lord, and are uniquely blessed. The Kosugis are another very special couple. Brother Kosugi is a world-class engineer. He has spent a great deal of time in the Middle East building water distillation plants for everyone from the King of Saudi Arabia on down. Soon after we moved to Ikoma he showed up at our house one night in response to a flyer advertising cheap English. There was a huge turnout that night and he was alarmed when he saw he had been trapped to come to a Christian meeting. I engaged him in conversation and showed him our house. He said that he would rather learn carpentry than English, so I set up a schedule to get together every Saturday to make a bed for them. It was through that contact that he and his wife, Michi, were saved. What a joy to see where they are today. He is one of the top elders in their church and they are examplatory Christians.

But the highlight for me was Nao chan. We had tried to adopt her and her younger sister when they for four and three respectively, but her grandmother was uncomfortable about giving them to a foreign family. When she was 14 she sent us a distressed letter asking if she could come to live with us. Of course, we took her in with open arms and offered to make her a complete American citizen. She said, no, she was Japanese and didn’t want to be an American. At first it was wonderful, but after six months she went bonkers, and the next four years were terribly tumultuous. After graduation from high school she moved out and lived on her own. I saw nothing but disaster in her future. I couldn’t imagine anything but a divorce and a painful life. But God is sovereign. Miraculously she married a very fine man. They live near the Hirotas and Miyuki has been virtually like her mother walking her through the challenging years of life. She has a lovely Christian family and her beautiful children are the same age as she was when she first came to be our daughter.

As I sat there that night and looked at the ones seated around that table, I was utterly overwhelmed at what God has done. The love, the joy, the gratefulness to God for what He has done for each one, burned in our hearts with such intensity, it is hard to imagine heaven to be much better.

But this is only a foretaste. Those that were there that night are only a very small fraction of the Family of God. What will it be, when Jesus is seated at the head of that Table? We will be free of the encumbrances that limit us today. In a higher more worthy way we will be able to express to Jesus our inexpressible gratitude for the miracle of the Christian life He has lead each one of us in until we safely reach the gate of the City.

At times our feet get sore, and we weary of our journey. It is one of the great mercies of God to provide wayside taverns to rest for a night and enjoy the refreshing fellowship of fellow pilgrims. These times are only for a night but they do give us strength and encouragement to press on with new vigor.

We sure had a good time that night, but if only you had been there… Praise God that time is coming.

Joyously, bill

Events in Japan

13 February 2011

Dear Phyllis,

Today I had one of the privileges of my life. I am down in Kyushu tonight visiting some friends and spoke in a small church this morning. I am serious when I say it was one of the great honors of my life. I have been in Japan for nearly a month now and I have only spoken in two churches for a Sunday morning message. The subject of the Inverted Kingdom has been dominant in my mind for the past several weeks. I have used the same message both times, and both times the Lord has assisted with more evidence of His enabling than anyone could ever hope for.

The church where I was this morning is a typical missionary/ Japanese setting. The brother in charge there is Karl Hoessel. My friend Scott Nobel had been here seven years ago and found this church by Internet. When I was here two years ago, Scott introduced me to Karl.  I had a very good time then. Today was my second visit. By earthly standards, this place is not that impressive. Karl and his wife, Junk, have been here 24 years. They have given it their best shot, but that is a long ways from what any missionary/pastor would hope to see in that period of time. There were probably about 25 in attendance this morning. For a pastor in the states to be banging away for the Gospel that long and still be hovering around the 25 mark would be very discouraging. That is just about an average of one soul a year. But that is also the national average for missionaries winning souls in Japan.

I found Karl to be an unusually refreshing brother. He is Lutheran, which is quite different for me. But in Christ we couldn’t be more one heart. I was amazed to see his library loaded with the classics that I haven’t seen in many years. There are extremely few missionaries or pastors who have ever heard of these books today. I saw on his shelf my favorite, The Holiest of All, by Andrew Murray. Before I left he pulled another rare classic off his shelf and gave it to me as a present – The Letters of Samuel Rutherford. That was a book I had found in a used book store in Tacoma nearly 40 years ago. It was one of my favorites that I never wanted to part with. But when my life came to an end in 1990, that was one of my special treasures that went bye bye with everything else I owned in this world. I never hoped to see another copy of it, but now the Lord has restored that one to me. With my transient life style I am trying to keep from collecting very few things, but, Lord willing, maybe I might be able to keep that one for the next several years.

It is a tremendous grief to me that a new generation has come along who are nearly totally illiterate of the great classics. I find it a frustration that there are extremely few brothers I can fellowship with who know anything about that enormous wealth the Lord has given to His church in Christian literature written several hundred years ago. These books are almost impossible to find on shelves in Christian book stores today.

There was a generation – several generations – who lived in a much different world than we have today. They had none of the distraction that dominates us today. They didn’t have Internet. They didn’t have TV. They didn’t have CNN, or any of the other propaganda organs polluting our minds with unbelievable nonsense news (?). They didn’t even have magazines or newspapers. All they had was the Bible. These men saturated themselves in the Word of God. They spent their lives walking before the Lord. As a result, the Lord was able to share things with them that are so far out of character in today’s Christianity, that it sounds strange to many. But these men knew God. Karl is a rare brother who lives in the environment of men like that of the past. But his flock is small.

By any standard of desirability, to be invited to speak in a church of that size would not be very high on the list. Of course the pinnacle of success would be the rare opportunity to be on the platform of one of the mega 10,000 member churches in America. For any missionary to have such a privilege would be counted as one of the highlights of his life. Extremely few missionaries ever have such an audience. And anyone who ever did, when they got back to the field, they would be greeted with a certain degree of awe.

But in the Inverted Kingdom – if what the Lord has told us is true – I firmly believe the order is backwards. Which do you think would be a greater honor; to hold a baby born in a barn by a young peasant girl, or to hold the baby of a king born in the most expensive on earth? Of course, there is no comparison; but with one minor exception. That would be if the baby born in the barn happened to be the creator of the world.

Spiritual truths are so familiar and trite to us that they are almost totally meaningless. I remember the day when John Lennon came to our Union Church in Karuizawa. That was such an event that people were still buzzing about it years later. If that was something major, what would we think if Jesus Christ showed up for a service? Where would we be? I suspect the most comfortable place would be flat on our faces in awe and worship before the Lord. Is it remotely possible that Jesus might actually attend one of our meetings today? If that was true how should we conduct ourselves? We all know what Jesus said about, if any two or three are gathered in His Name, that He promised to be in attendance.  But that doesn’t do a thing for us.

The Lord has been extremely good to me in bringing me to a time of life where spiritual reality has become so real that it is almost impossible to talk about. That happened this morning. I found it almost impossible to share with the people the inexpressible things that burn in my heart. I don’t know if anyone else got anything from the service, but to me, the awesomeness of what that tiny assembly meant to Jesus – as compared to some monstrous mega church in the states – reduced me to near speechlessness. I felt like one of the shepherds in the barn looking at that awesome Child. Oh my goodness, places like that are like an oasis in a desert, or diamonds in a coal mine. In a nation where probably less that one in over 200 are remotely saved, to be in such an unusual gathering was a huge privilege. If I had the opportunity of speaking on TV to an audience of 50,000,000, or to speak to these 25 simple folks there this morning –  with the awesome awareness that Jesus was also there – there is no question which would be the greater honor.

The Lord honored me with another unexpected blessing. A man came up to me after the service and said, “I still have the 20 baht you gave me.” I had completely forgotten about it, but when I was at that church two years ago, I was talking to an unsaved man. To show him the way of salvation, I asked him if he would accept 20 baht from me. He did. I asked him today, “Do you have your visa to heaven?” He replied, “Yes, when you gave me that 20 baht, I knew how to accept Jesus, and He has saved me.” Just for the privilege of leading one soul to Christ would make a lifetime on earth well worth while.

This has indeed been a different trip to Japan. Very few of the things I had hoped for have materialized. I had plans for an extensive trip to Nagano and the Tokyo area visiting many dear friends that I have waited two years to see. All that fell through. I have spent nearly all my time with my family, the Hirotas, in Ikoma. It has seemed like an enormous waste of time and money. With so much dead time on my hands I have been able to clean up most of the back e-mail on my computer. It has been good to be able to write to people to whom I have owed an e-mail for several months. The fellowship with the Hirotas has been good. I have met with a few other friends in the Kansai area, but that has only been about 1/4 of what I wanted to see this time.

I was walking back from the eki (train station) to Hirotas the other day and wanted to go by where our old house, The Joy Corral, was.  All that has been torn down and a large apartment building now stands on that sacred spot. Then I thought I would look at the new church where we use to go 25 years ago. I had had an unfortunate falling out with the pastor and things have been strained between us ever since. I was shocked when I saw the extensive new building they had put up. I had no intention of going inside, much less any desire to talk to Nakaya sensei. A new assistant pastor saw some hen na gaijin (odd foreigner) with a cowboy hat on standing outside, and came out to speak to me. He had no idea who I was, but invited me in to look at the sanctuary. Much to my dismay, Nakaya sensei showed up, and invited me for some tea. That was of God. For the next hour or so the Lord tore down the wall that had been standing between us. I shared with him some of the amazing things the Lord has done for me in the past 13 years in SEA. He was deeply impressed. Much of what I told him were things he had never heard. It was with deep gratitude and mutual respect that we parted. That was one place I purposed I would never go, but the Lord wonderfully forced my feet.

Lord willing, I will be back in Thailand this coming Thursday. I should be writing from home next week. If there is anything the Lord has impressed upon my heart in this trip it is that God’s ways are different. We should not be surprised if things appear upside down. And the things that look small to us are major treasures of value in His Kingdom.

Hope to see you soon.

                                       bill

Marriage Advice

6 February 2011

 Dear Phyllis,

The other day a friend wrote me a disturbing letter saying that his brother and wife were on the verge of disaster in their marriage. In reply I wrote him the following letter:

Dear Tim,

As we say in Japan – arigato (thank you) – for your e-mail. You may have written the wrong guy about the problem of George’s marriage. You talk about over-simplification; no one looks at problems more simplified than me.

My marriage blew apart 21 years ago. My views on that subject are extremely strong. I have a good look from my position in retrospect and see where there are a few things I might have done differently. I dislike the American approach and solutions very much. To me there is only one guiding star in the sky -  THE WILL OF GOD.

This factor is totally absent in the American code of thinking. When I was going through my hell and the myriads of counselors we went to, there was not one who suggested that this should be a consideration.

A few years ago a very famous pastor and his wife came to Japan for our missionary conference. They told how their son, who was also a pastor, came to their house one night totally shattered. His wife wanted a divorce. They fought that for two years. Gil said the thing that finally saved the situation was when the young wife made a decision to do something – that was the last thing on this earth that she wanted to do – OBEY GOD.

Today, no one (very few) puts this on the table as something to be considered.

The problem with modern psychology – and that includes Christian psychology – is that they start from a position of the human problem and work towards a solution. “How can we improve this situation?” The prevailing mentality is “God wants me to be happy. I am not happy with you. Obviously God wants me to drop you and try someone nicer.” This is the justification for an enormous number of Christian divorces. The fact that God is adamantly opposed to breaking that marriage vow, and dishonor His Name, is never considered in the equation. The bottom line for most American thinking is – what will make me the happiest? No one considers – what will be the most honoring to God?

Many women in Japan put up with terrible situations for the sake of the children or to protect the family name. But in America a staggering number of Christian women leave their husbands simply because they feel their needs are not being adequately met. A mission lady once told a friend of mine, “If I was your wife I would have left you years ago.” He replied, “That is probably true. But by that statement you have told me what you think of the permanence of marriage and your commitment to Christ.” That wasn’t real polite but what he said was accurate and true. That kind of thinking has no place in a Christian’s mind – much less in their speech.

 Living in the Orient most of my life gives me a much different perspective on life. Jim Dobson had Gary Smalley on his broadcast one day, and Smalley told a funny personal story. He and his wife had decided to work on something to put a little more zip in their marriage. They were in Hawaii for a few days and one morning Gary felt motivated to activate the program but his wife didn’t. Later that morning his staff came to him and asked, “Gary, what is wrong with Norma? She came down looking like a thunder cloud this morning.” She was ugly all day. That night they were at an ice cream store and told the clerk that the couple that was with them were getting married. She was all excited and advised them to buy an excellent book by Gary Smalley on marriage. They didn’t tell her who they were but thank her for the good advice. On the way out of the store Smalley’s wife turned to him and said, “You should read that book.” Dobson and everyone thought that was a very funny story. I thought his wife is was disgrace to the Name of Christ. In the Orient, most unsaved women would wonder how a person could be so sensitive and self-centered.

Ninety eight percent of the American Christian message is what God has done – or can do – for us. God sent Jesus for us. God sends the Holy Spirit to enable us to live a better life. Everything is FOR US. No one ever suggests that perhaps God has created us FOR JESUS. That we might live a life to honor Jesus. The thought that maybe we might be FOR JESUS never crosses their mind. In heaven the central issue is not, what I can get from Jesus, but what can I do to bring honor and glory to Him? If that was the determining factor in marriages, the thought of divorce would be impossible.

The focus is all wrong. The focus has made us to believe that the main objective is to have all our needs met. Obviously this is not going to happen in any Christen marriage. No partner is perfect. And when a person feels that their needs are not being met, they start looking to see how they can improve the situation. The name of the game is to correct the other person so I will be happier. They go to a counselor, and the counselor tells the husband to be a better man or the woman to be a better wife. That is not the right answer. The answer is to tell both partners to get right with God. Quit being self-oriented. Rather than being focused on how can I get my needs better met, get focused on how can I bring more honor to Jesus.

The first thing is to consider how they can bring glory to God by being willing to suffer for Jesus’ sake. No one who is serious about honoring the Lord could possibly consider a divorce. The next thing is to see how they can be more Christ-like in having a servant’s heart, be loving, and cheerful. This should be uppermost in the heart of every Christian every day. Marriage or no marriage, we are responsible to manifest the character of Christ to everyone we meet every day. If this is not real it is virtually a repudiation of a Christian testimony. How is it possible for two Christians obeying the Lord and manifesting His character to each other think of a divorce?

It might not be a happy road, but I will tell you one thing, battered women who put up with difficult husbands bring far more honor to the Lord than women who want out of a stressful situation. Persecuted Christians bring more glory to God than those who live in a happy land. Those who tough-out a difficult marriage, bring more glory to God than those who are primarily interested in their own happiness.

When I was going through my hell the most used word was “dysfunctional marriage”. When that word was sounded, that turned the alarm bell on that suggested a divorce was looming in the near future. Obviously a dysfunctional marriage is not what God wants, so we must consider how we change that situation. My foot! What marriage isn’t somewhat dysfunctional? Where, pray tell, in the Word of God does it tell me that that is a criteria, or a justification, for me to abandon my reasonability to obey the Lord?

 Obviously I have written this letter from a male perspective. But the door swings both ways. It is applicable to both sides of the marriage.

 Of course, we want to do our best. Of course, we want to be a good husband or a good wife. But marriage is not a 50-50 arrangement. It is 100-0. In that scenario it doesn’t matter what the other person does. I still have a total commitment to obey Jesus even if the other person is a rat. It is not reciprocal. It is not “I will love you IF you love me”. It is –“I am here to follow and obey Jesus come hell or high water.”

There are a couple of other factors. Unfaithfulness is a major sin. The Lord seemed to indicate that that was a consideration for divorce, but that certainly is not a command. Many are the marriages that have been saved after one partner was unfaithful, by repentance, forgiveness, and a determination to honor Christ by keep going.

Another shigata ga nai (there-is-nothing-you-can-do-about-it) scenario is when the other partner flat leaves. We have a couple in Thailand where the missionary husband said straight out that he preferred sex with men to his wife, and left. They both are still in Chiang Mai. He is living with a male lover and she has the children trying to serve the Lord. There is nothing the wife can do about it. When the Lord weighs in on that issue, we will hear what He thinks about it. But it might be tough for the husband. Eternity is a long time to spend in the flames of hell. He might have been smarter if he had stayed with his wife.

Gomen nasai (I’m sorry). I told you you wrote to the wrong man. I am highly simplistic. It is just a matter of what we think of Jesus, and how far we are willing to go in obeying and following Him. The American way has a lot of options, but I see the Bible as being pretty narrow. The bottom line is, WHAT WILL BRING THE MOST GLORY TO GOD?

You can tell George or his wife they can write me anytime, but what I have to say might not be that helpful.

Thanks again for writing,

                                                bill