What I Owed Bob was Forgiveness

31 January 2010

Dear Phyllis,

This morning I was speaking at a Thai church near here. That is an unusual privilege and a church that has a lot of life. This is my third time speaking there.

 The Lord laid on my heart to take an unusual approach to the story about the fellow who had a friend coming to him at midnight and he had to go out to get three loves of bread (Lk. 11:5-8). The Lord gave me this message several years ago through an extremely painful experience, but through that experience He taught me a basic lesson in life.

The passage starts out with the wonderful experience of a disciple who was listening to Jesus having His devotions, and asked Jesus to teach him how to pray. That response was a life-transforming teaching for me, but it didn’t have time to delve into that this morning.

 In response to that request – how to pray – Jesus repeated what He had previously taught them a year and a half previously in the Sermon on the Mount (Mt. 6:9-13). In that instruction, which we call the Lord’s Prayer, there are seven points. Of the seven points, the Lord only singled out one to give further emphasis of the essential need we have in dealing with forgiveness. Jesus told us, when we pray we should ask the Father to deal with us just like we deal with our fellow men. “Forgive us of our sins just like we forgive those who sin against us” (Mt. 6:12). I sure don’t like that. But Jesus warned if we don’t forgive we won’t be forgiven (Mt. 6:14, 15).

In the passage in Luke, where Jesus is teaching how to pray, the Lord uses the parable of the fellow who had a friend show up at midnight with a need of something to eat; and the poor guy didn’t have any bread in his house. The obvious teaching here is that there is a close relationship between our relationship with our fellow men and our relationship with God. It is impossible to be rightly related to God when things are out of place on the horizontal level. In the Ten Commandments, the first four deal with our vertical relationship with God. But the next six deals with our horizontal relationship with other people. In His teaching on prayer, just as Jesus singled out the point of forgiveness in Mathew 6:15, here again after repeating the same prayer, Jesus tells a story about a relationship of a man and his friend.

The Lord taught me this lesson through an extremely painful experience. Several years ago I was at a crossroad in life and had to make an important decision. I asked another man his opinion, and my decision would be dependent upon his yes or no answer. But rather than giving me a yes or no answer, he misjudged me and wrote the most insulting character assessment of me. That hurt me more deeply than any wound I have ever had from any man in my life. For six months I felt like I had gone through the new-birth in reverse. I felt like something had died inside me.

 A year later he was coming to Japan for the dedication of a new printing press at New Life League. To say I had a problem with him is a gross understatement. I couldn’t imagine looking at his face, much less talking to him. Rather than attending the celebration of the new printing press, I decided I needed a vacation. I went up to stay in the NLL cabin in Karuizawa. While up there the Lord spoke to me about this story of the guy who came to his friend on his journey at midnight. The Lord told me that I owed Bob three loaves of bread. And there are three loaves of bread that we all owe to every one in our circle of associates.

The Lord told me that the first loaf of bread that I owed Bob was forgiveness. This is something that it is safe to say you owe every single friend. It is impossible to have much of a relationship with anyone before sooner or later there will be problems. It is from our friends that we receive the deepest wounds. Enemies can’t hurt us. Enemies can insult us and persecute us, but that is nothing compared to the wounds that come from friends. It is impossible for husbands and wives to live together unless they daily keep short accounts of forgiving each other. We must keep our heart right before God by staying clean and forgiving all our friends regardless of how serious the offence is. The first loaf of bread that we owe them is forgiveness.

The second loaf of bread that we owe them is love. The Christian life is very simple. The Lord only requires that we do two things – love God and love out neighbor. That’s all! Everything in the Ten Commandments and all the law of heaven is fulfilled in just doing those two things. But that ain’t easy. 

 Friend of mine was going to a liberal church before he was saved and heard a message on how he was to love his neighbor. There was a guy in his office that he despised. Tom was convicted about his bad attitude and decided to love the other guy. Monday morning he went to work and vowed to love the poor fellow with all his heart. And he did – for fifteen minutes. Then he had to go to the water cooler to cool off because he wanted to kill the dirty bum.

The problem with forgiving others and loving our neighbor is that they show up at our house at the most incontinent time and we simply don’t have a thing in our house to give them. Try like I might, I flat couldn’t forgive Bob; and Tom didn’t have it in his heart to love the guy at the office. We have a responsibility to meet the needs of others, but we don’t have it in our house to give them. That is why we have to go to the bread store at midnight to get something to give to our friend.

The third loaf of bread that we owe our friend is to have confidence in them. Or to trust God to work in them. The greatest thing we can do to help others is to express confidence in them.

 In 1956, the Lord led Dave Wilkerson to work among the street gangs in New York. There were horrible gang wars going on, and Dave rented a hall to have an evangelistic meeting for the warring gang members. The police expected a major riot. Wilkerson preached the Gospel and then said they were going to take up an offering. Shockingly, he asked the leaders of the two gangs to be the ushers to take up the offering. Everyone thought that was an enormous joke. The two gang leaders were delighted to take up a large offering at knife point. When they got their baskets full of money they went backstage and one leader said to the other, “Okay, we got the loot. Let’s take off.” Nicky Cruz was the leader of the feared Maw Maw gang. They were as violent animals as there were anyplace. Nicky said to the other guy, “This is the first time in my life that anyone has ever trusted me. I am not going to let him down.” Nicky Cruz was saved that night; not because of the Gospel that Dave Wilkerson preached but because of the trust he placed in him in asking him to take the offering.

Twenty years ago I was at an extremely low point in life. I was right on the ragged edge of a major nervous breakdown. I was acting very strangely. My friends would have been right if they had put me in a mental hospital. I was working at that time on a large construction job in Karuizawa. The job foreman saw the bazaar way I was acting and called to the office asking that they send up a new carpenter. “Cook san is sick.”  I was working with Robbie Edmonds at the time, and he got mad. He roared, “We don’t need a different carpenter. Bill is just fine.” Of all the people in my life, at that strenuous time, Robbie was the greatest help. He refused to accept that I was sick and placed confidence in me that I was okay. That saved me.

Any message you hear on this parable, the main point is that the man got his bread because of his “importunity” (Lk. 11:8). In another place Jesus was teaching “that men ought always pray and not faint” (Lk. 18:1). Here He was talking about a widow who had a weak position, but won a court case by wearing down a bad judge. The parable in Luke 11 and the one in chapter 18 are basically teaching the same lesson. It is bewildering that Jesus should teach that praying to God is like that. Is that the way God is? Is that the way the system works? Why is it that Jesus said that prayer is like that? The reason is not because of God, but because of the problem with our heart.

When I pleaded with the Lord to give me a loaf of bread of forgiveness to give to Bob, it was terrible. It has taken years. I hope no one else is wired together like I am, but it has taken many years. But thank God I finally got the bread I needed to forgive Bob and love him. God has worked in my heart. Today my heart is clean. These three loaves of forgiveness, love, and to trust God to work in the other persons heart to make them good; are three things we owe to everyone in our relationships. But those are things that we don’t have unless God gives them to us. We must plead with the Lord to give us something we don’t have by nature. But the bottom line is Lk. 11:13 – the Holy Spirit. It is when God so fills us with the Spirit of Christ, then the things which we need so desperately are made real in our heart.

 What an answer to the request asking Jesus to teach us how to pray! In 13 verses of Luke 11 the Lord covered an enormous amount of ground in teaching the basics of the Christian life.

Well here I am in the sand box with my little shovel and bucket trying to learn some of the basics of life. Please shake the sand out of your shoes as you leave.

 See you next week;                   bill

Rejected Visa

24 January 2010

Dear Phyllis,

Last Sunday night I got on a bus here in Chiang Mai to head for Malaysia to get a one year visa for Thailand. I got home at midnight Friday night. All in all it was a good trip with one minor exception. It was a disaster. It was worse case scenario. I got the worse visa I have ever had for Thailand. The visa agency in Penang told me, “No problem. We can easily get you a one year visa.” When I went back to pick up my passport they said, “We’re sorry, they only gave you a 90 day, single entry, visa.” Now I have 87 days to stay in Thailand and then I will have to think about something else. Of course the Lord is in charge of things like this. He could have easily given me a one year visa, but obviously He has something else in mind after April.

I was stunned when they told me that my request for a one year visa was rejected. Rom. 8:28 is still a fact, and the Lord knows His own mind. But at this point I have no idea what the Lord has in mind for the future. There are several options.

1. I can go back to Penang in three months a try again. They said the chances of getting a one year visa might be better the next time. And even if they only give me another 90 day visa I might be able to do that four times a year. I don’t know how many times I can get 90 day visas, but going to Malaysia isn’t that tough. It is an overnight bus ride from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, and then a 22 hours train ride down to Penang, costing only $50.

2. I can go to Japan in April, and send my passport to the states to get a one year visa stamped in there in Texas. There are a couple of places where I can get a one year visa by mail in Texas. This is somewhat of a doggy act, but there are several people who do it, and I did it once four years ago. I have been asking the Lord to give me a ministry in Japan, and this might be His way of forcing me to go there again. Otherwise, I have no call to go back to Japan for sometime.
3. It maybe that the Lord is closing me down in Thailand.

This is a thought that I really don’t like. I love it here in Chiang Mai. I hope I never have to leave here except for occasional trips to other countries. After coming here for 5 years, and living here for seven, I have put my roots down pretty deep in this spoil. The Lord has provided a wonderful place for me to live. He has given me an excellent selection of carpentry tools, and I greatly enjoy the things I am able to make for others. This is as close to heaven as I expect to get here on this earth.

 But my history is not good. I have found that every place I have ever been, and put down my roots; the Lord has torn those roots completely out of the soil, and sent me elsewhere. Each time has been very painful.

 My first love was Karuizawa. Everyday I was in Karuizawa seemed like a dream. I had the finest property and house in Japan. Literally. I had a most enviable position with the language as director and Japanese teacher. I thought I would rather die than leave Karuizawa. But the day came when I was firmly invited to leave with no place to go. We went to the states for a one year furlough, and then briefly returned to Karuizawa for the sake of placing Dave in the MK school there. But shortly after getting back to Karuizawa, Neil Verwey invited us to come down to Ikoma to work with the Japan mission.

 I thought nothing would ever replace Karuizawa, but Ikoma proved to be a cut slightly higher. I love the Kansai area of Japan, and the Lord gave us the finest house I ever lived in. We were the envy of the wealthy. It was a highlight experience for Japanese just to visit us. Again I wanted do die in that house. But the day came when we got forced out of there.

The biggest event in my life was the loss of my family. I felt certain that it was impossible for us to ever come apart as a family. Things like that just don’t happen to Christians – certainly not to me! But the day came when my world disintegrated, and I came to the end of life’s road.

 For the next five years I was literally homeless. Except for a brief time when I was working as a honey wagon driver, I never slept in my own bed or owned my own pillow.

Then in 1995 the Lord led me to New Life League in Hatoyama. That was like an unimagined dream. Roald Lidal gave me an excellent room in the dormitory and told me that that room was my home for life. I loved NLL, and had every expectation of spending the rest of my life there. But the day came when they no longer needed a carpenter, and I walked away from everything I owned, including my excellent shop of several thousand dollars of tools.

I had no place to go but to return back to Chiang Mai where I had been basing out of for the ministry of carrying Bibles to Christians in the countries around Thailand. My very dear friend, Mark, has given me permission to live in his warehouse for Bibles for free, and this has been my home ever since 2003.

But I wonder, is this the end of the road for Chiang Mai? The Bible logistic ministry has greatly changed in recent years and I do very little of that now. Since Scott came into my life, the Lord has used him to open few doors of ministry. The biggest gift the Lord has given me in many years was my friendship with Jeana Crane. It has been a great privilege to play a small role in her life in helping her on with the Lord. But Jeana is no longer in Thailand. I used to have a slight ministry with the Mennonites, but I can’t recall the last time I was invited to speak at one of their meetings. I’m sure it must be two years or more. If my life has been reduced to bending nails making bookends and napkin holders in my shop, it is highly questionable why I should live in Chiang Mai.

Ironically every time I have been run out of some place it has been with no other place to go – with the slight exception of when I was closed down in Japan and came to Thailand. I have no other place in front of me. I really don’t want to move. But is Jesus saying, “You have been here long enough. Move on.”?

The Lord’s criticism of Moab was that, “He has been at ease…He has settled on his lees and has not been emptied from vessel to vessel.” (Jer. 48:11). This is a process that most of us are unfamiliar with. But the story is told that in making good wine, it is necessary to allow the wine to sit in bottles for some time until the “lees” – the sediment in wine – settles to the bottom of a bottle. When this settles to the bottom, then the wine is carefully poured into a new bottle to allow that process to repeat. It is by being poured from bottle to bottle that the finest wine is made.

 I can thank the Lord that He has not allowed me to settle on my lees without being emptied from bottle to bottle. My entire life has been nothing but a series of being emptied from bottle to bottle. It is no fun. Each time it has been like death. Each time I have said, “I would rather die than leave here.” And yet each time has been a move to a slightly higher privilege. I wouldn’t wish my many wrenching experiences anyone. And yet, in retrospect, I can honestly say, “The Lord’s way has been the best”. It is a painful lonely life, but what the Lord has allowed me to see and do in the past twelve years has easily been the greatest privilege of my life, of which I am totally unworthy.

Where the path leads from here is something I can’t even speculate. There is literally no place for me to go to. I have no home in Japan anymore. It would be extremely difficult return there. I can’t imagine myself living in North America again. I have a burden for the Uyghurs in Xinjiang, west China. I would willing to give my life to see a few Uyghurs saved.  But I have no idea how I could get a visa for China or what I would do if I ever got there. What does the Lord have in store for me? I have no idea but it will be interesting to see where I am 87 days from now.

I believe it was Samuel Rutherford who wrote, “Every joy or trial cometh from above, traced upon our dial by His sun of love.” The Lord has taught me to accept every trial as a gift from His hand to make me more like Himself. If Jesus was made perfect through sufferings (Heb. 2:10); is it possible for us to be “made partakers of His holiness” (Heb. 12:10) by some other means? It was a keen disappointment to come away from Penang with the worst visa I have had yet for Thailand, but this is God’s best and He has something special in store for me through this.

Bless God! Jesus is coming soon and we will see then that these minor difficulties have all been sent from a hand of love and kindness. Murmuring should have no place in our heart.

Looking forward to seeing you before the Throne real soon.

                                                                        bill

Three Philippinos and Mae Jo University

17 January 2010

 Dear Phyllis,

 I don’t know what is going on at Scott’s Friday night Bible study, but it certainly is different. About a month ago Scott asked me to teach Mathew 24 about the Lord’s return. We have tried to stay on that target, but each night has been different. A couple of times I thought I knew what the Lord wanted to say, and did some preparation accordingly, only to find the crowd was not who I expected. Last Friday night was another unusual time.

Scott met three Philippine girls who were teachers at Mae Jo University. He asked them if they wanted to study Japanese, and they showed up at my Wednesday afternoon Japanese class. Then Friday night they came to the Bible study bringing another Filipino boy with them. Virtually none of the Thais showed up that I expected, but our one regular, Champ, and another Thai fellow who had been there once before. Basically it was an English night for the sake of the four Filipinos.

I determined that one lady was the wife of a pastor in the Philippines and a very fine Christian. In talking to them Wednesday I felt the other two girls weren’t saved but seemed to be open. I didn’t know where the boy stood.

 

The conversation sorted of went sideways at the beginning. They got to talking about a movie they had recently seen, 2012, about the end of the world. Naka naka (I don’t know how to say that in English) I had a hard time getting started in the Word. It really wasn’t much of a Bible study. I had to ask Champ to try to interpret what I was saying for the sake of the one Thai boy that was very limited in English. It wasn’t the best Bible study we ever had. But towards the end I bore down on the theme that no one knows when Jesus is coming back, but the main teaching is that we should always be ready to for His return. Then I asked the four Filipinos one at a time if they were ready to meet the Lord. The pastor's wife said she had pushed that point with the other three with her at the university. They were amazingly honest. All three said right up front that they were not ready to meet God, but each one seemed desirous to get ready. I believe I could have easily prayed with each one for salvation right there, but I prefer to allow the Holy Spirit to bring souls to Himself rather than having them saved by Bill Cook. This has been very effective for the last three that we have had saved.

I asked one girl, “Do you know what you have to do?” She replied, “Yes, I have to accept Jesus.” I told her that I thought there was nothing wrong with her head. Apparently she knew enough how to be saved, but to take that step from darkness into light – from death into life – is not something that flesh and blood can do. It takes the Holy Spirit to do it; otherwise there is nothing that is real. I think all three are close to the Kingdom. They are going back to the Philippines in a little over a month, but I really hope they will be saved before going home.

 Many years ago I had a friend, Glenn Barnes, who had been saved as a Navy pilot. He got out of service and came to Karuizawa to serve the Lord. Glenn and I were good friends for many years, and then he went home to America. When he was about 75 he got into Andrew Murray and had a life transforming experience with the Lord. Glenn said it was like he had never been saved before, and became very fanatical trying to get everyone else to have his experience. He sent me stacks of Andrew Murray books, and pleaded with me to read Ephesians through every day for a month. I had read Andrew Murray many years before when I was first saved and thought I pretty much knew his message; but out of politeness to Glenn I read his books.

Yappari, I got bit. I have never had Glenn’s experience but ever since Glen sent me those books 18 years ago Andrew Murray has become my favorite author. This is my third time through, The Holiest of All. Oh my goodness, I have never seen salvation and the spiritual life in the light of what I am experiencing now. Recently the big message has been faith.

For many years the subject of faith has been a sore subject for me. I really dislike most messages I have heard on faith and have found it a distasteful theme. The usual approach is, “If you only had more faith…” Thanks. That message has brought me into a lot of frustration.

Then you hear a lot of, “God can do…” Thanks a lot. I don’t have any problem with that. Just as if the God that created the universe and raised Jesus from the dead would have a hard time healing a cold. I don’t have any problem believing that God can do anything. But will He? That is the question. God can do anything. But why He doesn’t do a lot of things is a great bewilderment to me. It is a real bad trip believing that God is going to do something when He doesn’t.

I have had enough experiences intensely believing God was going to do something only to see it go the other way. I have had tons of faith only to prove that I was wrong. This message about “If you only believe hard enough you can move mountains”, is a massage I really don’t like. Watchman Nee said, “Praying out of the will of God will only prove that mountains of faith cannot move a single mustard seed of difficulty.” Amen.

 But Andrew Murray has brought faith out of the closet and presented in a light such as I have never accurately seen before. Even now I see it like “men look like trees walking” (Mk. 8:24). That is, I don’t see it clearly but I think is do see something.

Andrew Murray says the faith is the organ of the spirit by which we receive God. Wow! I’m not sure I know what that means but he might be right. Just as our eyes are the organ by which we receive light and our ears are the organ by which we receive sound; it may be true that faith is the organ of the spirit by which we receive God. Faith is also the means by which God communicates things to us. That is; God can speak to us by His Holy Spirit, very clearly, but if we don’t believe what He says, that truth is never really communicated to us as a real spiritual substance. Lack of faith can certainly hinder God from doing many things He would like to do for us (Mt. 13:58). We have got to let that lie on the desk by itself and go on.

Andrew Murray also accurately brings out that faith is a gift that comes from God (Eph. 2:8; 1 Cor. 12:9; Rom. 12:3, etc). This business of “If you only grunt harder and believe more you can do anything”, is nonsense. Faith is not something that is resident within us that we can pull out of the drawer and use anymore than the gift of healing or anything else. If God doesn’t give faith you ain’t gonna have it.

Andrew Murray points out that one of the major problems is that we tend to think of faith in terms of the intellect rather than of the spirit. We approach it from a position of reason. We try to lay things out with reason in our mind; if the dots line up, we believe something with our intellectual reason and call that faith. There is a fundamental difference between intellectual faith and the spiritual gift of faith. Intellectual faith does not have life or power. Spiritual faith has both.

 This is a major problem with soul winning. We approach it from an intellectual position. We think if only someone can understand the plan of salvation they will automatically be saved. We point out a verse in the Bible and ask, “Do you believe that?” The person half hearted replies, “Uh hugh.”      “Praise the Lord, brother! You’re saved!” And the person goes home with an intellectual salvation minus the witness of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:16). A person isn’t really saved until the Holy Spirit confirms that he actually is with the witness of the Spirit. When that comes you have real saving faith.

That is what I am trying to avoid with the Filipinos who were at the Bible study last night. I want to get them to Jesus. If they get to Jesus, He will give them saving faith that will stick.  I don’t know what is holding them up at the moment. Very often there is one issue that the Lord is dealing with in their life. It may be pride. It may be fear of man.  It may be some pet sin. It may be ambition. This varies from person to person, but until that object is taken out of the way, it is highly unlikely that they will make much progress with the Lord.

This morning I read that Jesus is the perfecter of our faith (Heb. 12:2). Oh my goodness how I have fed on that! Jesus has not only given me faith in Himself, but He is going to perfect that faith in me. It is not as I read the Bible more and understand better theology. But as Jesus lives in my heart by faith that He will perfect that faith which will enable God to give me more of Himself.

Some of that may not make sense, but somehow I believe this is the real nature of faith. I kinda like that message. The name of the game is knowing Jesus. As He is more real in my heart, that enables Him to do more of the work that He came to do. Man howdy that is a good message!

Gomen, Phyllis. This may be an old to you, but much of this is fresh to me. Tonikaku (anyway), Jesus is real and He is still working in our hearts. Praise God!

                                                                      bill

PS: I am leaving for Malaysia tonight. I have to go down to Penang to get a new one year visa for Thailand. Last year I went down there and went to two visa agencies that told me flat out that it was IMPOSSIBLE to get a one year visa. Two days later I had it in my hand. They said, “Very lucky! Very lucky!” Not really. The obvious explanation for that was Jesus. I am up against that difficulty again this year. If you see the Lord this week you might mention to Him that I need His assistance in getting another Thai this year. Arigato (Thanks)