Frog in a Well

28 December 2008

Dear Phyllis,

As you know this is Bonen kai (forget-the-year party) season in Japan. Every company spends a lot of money providing a party where the employees get together to get drunk to forget their differences over the past year. They want to wipe the plate clean before they start a new year. There is something to say for that. I wish I could do it. If sake would do it, I would be glad to get drunk. But I don’t think sake would do much to improve my heart. Only Jesus and His Blood are capable of cleansing my heart to make me clean for another year.

Every word of God is more precious than gold. Names are important. Joseph means ADDING. Ephraim means FRUITFUL.  Manasseh means FORGETTING (Gen. 41:51,52). These names are very instructive to us. 2 Pet.1:5 tells us if we ADD to our faith … love that will make us FRUITFUL. Of  Joseph’s two boys Ephraim was the dominant one, but Manasseh was born first. This teaches us that before we can become truly fruitful we must be forgetting. That is my struggle. For some tragic reason I am wired together in such a way that offences by others are burned into my brain like words cut in granite. Ten and fifteen years later I still struggle with minor problem with the same emotional intensity as if it just happened yesterday. This is probably the greatest spiritual weakness that I have. It just kills me. I pray, I plead, I beg the Lord to take that garbage out of my heart, and frequently it still sticks to me like wall paper. I can’t say that there is no victory. The Lord has done miracles for me in some areas. The deep hatred and bitterness that I had towards Rosemary, He has taken that out of my heart to an astounding degree. Jesus has done things for me that went well beyond anything I imagined was possible; and, to a degree, He has gone beyond what I wanted done. But every new incident is a new ball game.

I wrote you three weeks ago how Marks’ wife took my head off for giving away some Bibles. I have felt morally in error living in this building ever since. Yesterday I saw Mark for the first time since the decapitation. I told Mark, “That was the most vicious, severest, tongue lashing I have taken in over 15 years.” Mark was deeply apologetic. He pleaded, “Bill, she didn’t mean anything by that talk. That is just the Dutch talk. She has no idea what she said to you.” I replied, “Yes I know that, but after that decapitation it still doesn’t help me get my head back on.” An hour later Astrid showed up at the door with a Christmas present, sweetly smiling, “Merry Christmas, Uncle Bill.” Oh, I wish I could get that spear out of my heart! This is probably the most paralytic problem I have. And it has been repeated dozens of times over.

Harold Carman wrote me a few weeks ago telling about the man who pleaded that the Lord would deliver him from the web of sin. Another brother shouted, “Kill the spider!” I wrote Harold back saying, “That was a wonderful letter. That is excellent advice. Could you please tell me how to kill the spider?”

I was reading Acts 3:26 in my Japanese Bible this morning – “God…sent Him (Jesus) to bless you, in turning everyone of you away from his iniquities.” The Nihongo (Japanese) verb there was “tachi kaerasete” – which means to stand up and be caused to come away. That spoke to me. That is what I have got to do – stand up (get on my feet), and allow Jesus to cause me to come away from sin.

As I look back over 2008 I feel more like a frog in a well than a man standing on a mountain viewing the beautiful scene below. From my vantage point I see very little that has been accomplished for the Kingdom of God. For that matter it is hard to think of any major thing that was accomplished in the past year. I got on a bus twice to go to Afghanistan, and got turned back both times in Laos. The greatest joy of my heart is preaching and yet I can count the number of times I have spoken in a church in the past year on my abbreviated left hand. Praise God I have had a little input into a couple of souls encouraging them to move towards the Kingdom of God.  But, most of that fruit goes more to Scott rather than anything I added. Writing to you is virtually the only window I have to the outside world. The only thing I can think of for 2008 was writing 52 letters.

For 18 years I have felt like a POW. It seems that 2008 was spent in my comfortable cell here in Chiang Mai. John Bunyan wrote Pilgrims progress from Bedford jail. I haven’t written any Pilgrims Progress this past year, but at least I have enjoyed our weekly times of fellowship. There is something to say for a prison cell, though. At least it cuts down on a lot of the distraction that hamper other Christians. There isn’t much furniture in this cell, and it causes me to be more conscious of the Lord’s presence. A cell is a wonderful place to have fellowship with Jesus. You learn a lot of things here that they don’t teach in Bible school.

 For years I have felt very much like the fellow Jesus told about who was standing leaning against a light post with his hands in his pocket at 4:00 in the afternoon. The lord of the harvest said, “Why aren’t you out working in the field?” He replied, “Because no one has hired me.” (Mt. 20:7).That may be a very questionable answer. Maybe I should be more aggressive. There is a lot to be accomplished. I don’t have to sit here waiting for the phone to ring. Maybe I should just grab a bucket and go out in the vineyard picking as much fruit as possible. But I am more comfortable being a team member than being the Lone Ranger. The problem is no one is interested in having me on their team – except perhaps Scott. He has been the most productive brother I have met in a long time. He is plowing a wide furlough for God and invites me to help pull the plow.

The trip to Laos last week was a bummer. The two guys I went with, to take them over there to get visas, were first class. They are as good as any I have found from the states. We had a fabulous time together, but the visa run was more than a waste of time. I went over there in hopes of getting a better visa for myself, and came back with my present visa shortened by two weeks. My visa was good until the 20^th of January but the one I am on now is only good until the 7^th. That means that I must do something serious within a week or I am out of here.

Basically I have two options. One is to go to Malaysia, and give it a shot down there. If that doesn’t work, then it almost looks like I will have to go back to Japan where I have a green card and don’t need a visa. A third option would be to return to the states again this year and get a visa there, but that is totally out of reach. I would like to go back to Japan just to see old friends, but I lost my home there two years ago and have no where to stay at the moment. I am trying to get that untangled, but I am back to the original problem of a broken relationship. If I could get some garbage out of my heart things would probably be okay, but the problem is internal. And that is a very real barrier. I don’t know what a ticket to Japan costs now. I’m sure that it would be right at the edge of my limited funds. I would prefer to stay here, but it may be that the Lord would have me go to Japan for a few weeks and get a visa from there.

This morning I read, “The great object and aim of God in creation was to have an inheritance for His Son in which He might show forth His glory and blessedness.” There is something in my heart that screams AMEN! Oh, what truth! Oh, if we could only get a better handle on that. This changes the focus of everything. This puts Santa Clause out of business. This turns humanism upside down. Paul alludes to this when he said that man was not created for the woman but the woman was created for man (1Cor. 11:8, 9; Gen. 2:18, 22). The primary teaching here is, of course, Jesus and His Bride. This is one of the most fundamental truths in the Bible. The devil has been trying to push Christ to one side ever since.

The devil has consistently used his original tactic – “Hath God said?” (Gen. 3:1).These were the first words that ever came out of the mouth of the devil. This is the battle cry of liberalism - “hath God said? The frontal corner stone of liberalism is an attack on the Word of God. This is the water-shed, the dividing line, between liberalism and conservative Christianity. This is the division between light and darkness – those who stand for Christ and those who stand against Christ.

But in recent years the devil has used a more subtle tactic in evangelical humanism. This is clothed in the message that “Jesus is for us”. There certainly is some truth in this message but the focus is backwards. This makes the Man for the woman, rather than God’s original purpose in creation. How we need to get back to the truth that God created us for His Son, rather than the other way around.

Holy Father, in this coming year, please let this truth be the guiding star of my life, and the life of all whom You have purchased with the Blood of Your Son. Let our lives count for Jesus.    AMEN

                                                                                          bill cook

The Gospel of John and Jeanna

21 December 2008

Dear Phyllis,

Man howdy, did we have church last Thursday! That is the Bible study we have at Scott’s house. Our two regular Thai brothers had other things to do. Only Mannford came. I really wondered at the wisdom in having a Bible study, and Mannford was dragging anchor badly. He had a bad headache, and requested that we not go on too long. With his bad headache, he wanted to get home as soon as possible, and I thought that was a good idea. But we asked Jesus to meet with us and heal Mannford’s headache.

Seldom has the Word been more powerful. We covered the entire 8^th chapter of John in a way like I have never read it. I had no intention of going the full two hours of Bible study, but when we finished at 9:00 PM, we all were marvelously refreshed, and Mannford said, “My headache is nearly totally gone.”

John is absolutely unique as a book in the Bible. The synoptic gospels (Matt., Mark, Luke) tell the story of Jesus, but John gives us a unique look into the heart of Jesus, and His relationship with the Father. There is no other place in the Bible that gives us such an intimate view of that relationship. As we read those passages I asked, “What verbs are used to describe Jesus’ relationship with His father?” It was refreshing as the others accurately pulled them out. “The things that I have HEARD (vrs, 26, 40), The things that I Seen (vr. 38), My Father hath TAUGHT Me (vr. 29), the Father SENT  Me (vrs. 16, 18, 26, 29, 42), I always DO those things which pleas Him (vr. 29).

I asked, “Do these verbs and this relationship that Jesus had with the Father have any bearing on us today?” With deep conviction, Mannford replied, “They most certainly do; especially in this evil generation.” I asked, “In order to hear, what is the requirement to hear?” Mannford properly replied, “We must listen.” In order to be taught what must we have? A teachable spirit. The Word was as instructive to us as it ever gets.

The chapter started out with a loaded no-win situation that the enemies of Jesus confronted Him with – the woman taken in adultery. They trapped Him by saying, “Moses told us to kill her. What do You say?” Either way Christ loses. Instead of an either-or answer, He replied, “He that is without sin let him cast the first stone.”, and quietly wrote on the ground. I asked, “What do you think Jesus wrote on the ground?” Of course the Bible doesn’t tell us. We are left to own speculation, but there are many possibilities. One possibility is I, II, III, IV of the Ten commandments. Another one is the names of the girl friends of the ones who brought the woman to Jesus. Another one is the name of the man she was having sex with. This had to be a set up. Obvious this whole thing was a trap and one of their own men was the other partner.

But once the crowd was whittled down to zero with everyone going home under deep conviction of their own personal sin, then Jesus went after them. Verse 12 starts out, “Then spake Jesus again unto them…”  The confrontive language that Jesus used in this chapter is shocking. In today’s politically-proper speech environment that language is unthinkable. “You are from beneath, I am from above” (vr.23), “You shall die in your sins” (vr. 24), “You are of your father the devil” (vrs, 41, 44), “The lusts of your father you will do” (vr. 44). “If God were your father you would love me” (vr. 42). “You say God is your father but you have not known Him” (vrs, 54, 55). “If I said it, I would be a liar like you” (vr. 55). Oh my goodness that is refreshing to read! That kind of speech is strictly forbidden in Japan. We must be careful to say “we” and “our” – certainly not “YOU”. It makes me sick to my stomach to hear the gutless “men of God” (?) today who are so careful abut speech so as not to offend anyone. The TV screen would have gone blank if Billy Graham had ever used language like that. That kind of speech would have been censored out as four letter words. Norman Vincent Peal would have been appalled at the suggestion of ever using that kind of speech in public. Small wonder that today’s evangelism lacks the power of conviction of sin that characterized Finney’s preaching.

Tonikaku (anyway) we had a terrific time last Thursday going over John 8.

The reason I am sending this letter out today is because our trip to Laos got slid back 24 hours. In a few hours I will be on a bus headed for Laos. There is another brother here who is in bad shape for a visa. We are going to give it a go at the Thai embassy in Vientiane.  If we can get one year visas in Laos, that will solve a huge problem for me for one year. If I can’t get a visa, then I will be up against a wall to know what to do. I could try Malaysia or Jakarta, Indonesia, but each time I go somewhere my finances get lower. I would love to go to Japan, but, as I have told you before, I lost my home there two years ago.

My heart is with Jeanna Crane. Scott and I went to the prison last Wednesday but we were told that they had some deal going on, and things were closed for us that day. And we won’t be able to get in again until sometime in January.

The reason I am concerned for her is because she has been totally convinced for several months that the Lord had promised her that she would be released sometime before winter. Officially winter starts today. That means that all of Jeanna’s guidance was a false hope. I have been quietly warning her about that for sometime, and yet at the same time I didn’t want to be a prophet of unbelief if the Lord had actually spoken to her about a miraculous release.

I am sure there has not been one child of God since the days of John the Baptist to the present that hasn’t had some disappointing experience where they were sure the Lord had promised them some thing only to have “their faith” shattered. These head-snappers are hard to deal with. I have had so many that I have come to expect disappointment to be the norm rather than the exception. The problem is that Jeanna is a new believer. She has had very little experience in trusting God for miracles. She has read an enormous number of excellent Christian books. Unfortunately all these books only emphasize the good stories. They tell of all the times when God has promised to His servants impossibilities and then fulfilled them. They don’t tell about the time when sincere servants have fully believed God for something, only to see it go south in the most crushing way.

The last time I spoke with Jeanna I shared with her the 10^th Beatitude. There are 9 Beatitudes in Matt. 5, but the 10^th is in Lk. 7:23 – Blessed is he, whosever shall not be offended in Me. It is amazing that the person this was addressed to was John the Baptist. When Jesus showed up on the scene, John had every reason to believe that, now that the Messiah is here, things will be different. He had the prophecy about the ax being laid to the root of the bad tree, the fan being in His hand, and the chaff being burned up (Mt. 3:9-12). He naturally was certain that the guys in the black hats would be in bad shape now, and the good guys were about to come out on top. When he was arrested, I suspect he had a grin on his face and thought. “This will be interesting. Wait until Jesus hears about this. Herod is gong to be in trouble – BIG TIME”. But weeks and months went by. Nothing worked out the way that John expected it to happen. At last he sent some disciples to Jesus to ask, “Are you the One we have been waiting for or should we look for another?” (Lk. 7:19). Jesus told the messengers to tell John what they had just seen and heard; then he added, “One more thing. Tell John, blessed is the man who is not offended in Me.” How many times has that scene been repeated since then?

We have our expectations. We have our faith. We firmly believe that the Lord will do just as we believe He has promised us. We have all of our verses and proof promises. We have all the evidences of our guidance leading us to believe God for miracles. And it doesn’t work out that way.

I wish I could be there to be a safety next for Jeanna, but it will be several weeks blank before we can get in again to see her. The Lord alone will have to be with her and strengthen her in her disappointment, that her faith was ill-founded. These are difficult things to deal with.

But Rom. 8:28 is still a fact, and they Lord has chosen something more important for Jeanna through this experience than an early release. She will get out in time. Officially she still has another year to serve – which is miraculously short for murder. She killed her husband. Somehow the Lord must make this failure in faith a strengthening experience for her.

My problem is trust the Lord for a Thai visa.

Hopefully, I will see you next week at this our seat of fellowship,  bill

Mannford

14 December 2008

Dear Phyllis,

 Several years ago a lady asked my advice for a good church for her husband. She had found two or three acceptable churches in her city, but didn’t know which one to choose, that would be most advantageous to see her husband saved. I replied, “Choose the one with the most life.” She inquired, “How do I know which one has the most life?” I told her, “Find the one that has ‘tsukare wa nai’ (no fatigue).

When my very dear friend, Takako Yamamoto, moved from Karuizawa to Tokyo, and started going to the Kichijoji meetings, she became almost fanatical for Kichijoji. This was very uncharacteristic of her. I asked her, “What is so different between the church in Karuizawa and the one where you are going in Tokyo?” When she replied, “Tsukare wa nai”, I knew immediately what she was talking about.

In many churches in Japan, a typical Sunday goes like this: You get up in the morning feeling fine. There is joy in the Lord and a bit of a song in your heart. You go to church, and two hours later you come home exhausted. It has been a draining experience to sit through an hour and a half of dead religion and a long boring, meaningless, sermon. I greatly admire most believers in Japan. It takes a well-committed Christian to tough it out week after week, year after year, of putting up that that draining religion. But there is the rare meeting where you get up on Sunday morning with a headache; you don’t feel like going to church, but you go anyway. Two or three hours later you come back marvelously refreshed. Your heart is bursting with praise to the Lord. It was so good that you hated to break off and come home. What is the difference? One place has fatigue and the other place has life.

 I have always said that the spiritual thermometer of a church is measured in the foyer and the parking lot. Fifteen minutes after the benediction and the last Amen is said, if the parking lot is empty and everyone has taken off like a covey of quail, you know that that is a pretty cool church. But if at 12:30 or a quarter to 1:00, the janitor is futilely trying to shoo people out of the building so he can lock the door, and there are still four or five cars sitting in the parking lot with people joyously fellowshipping in the Lord, you know that that is a pretty warm church. I have been in churches where things got started at 9:30 in the morning and believers were still fellowshipping all over town at midnight. I have been in meetings that started at 7:30 or 8:00 on Saturday night, and the meeting was still going strong at 2:00 and 3:00AM because no one wanted to quit. That is life.

 We are enjoying a little bit of that now here in Chiang Mai. The other night after our meeting, Scott said, “I really felt tired after supper. I just wanted to go to bed, but I feel great now.” Me too. I really didn’t want to go to a meeting that night, but I felt marvelously refreshed when I went home.

It all started about three months ago when Scott asked me if I would speak with a fellow professor at Mae Jo University. I have mentioned him to you before. Mannford is German who had lived in the states for many years. He has been here in Thailand for two or three years teaching English. He was a Christian simply my nationality. That is, he had had some German state church background and would consider himself a Christian simply because he was born there and not in some Islamic or Buddhist country. He had suffered from horrible debilitating migraine headaches for years. A few months ago he was so desperate he called on to Jesus to help him, and seemingly was miraculously healed. Scott told me about him; and so when I first met him I said, “I heard you had an encounter with Jesus.” He looked at me blankly and replied, “No. What are you talking about?”

 “I heard you were healed.”

Then he told me how he was down flat and asked Jesus to help him. Within hours he was recovered.

I asked, “Do you know the Lord?”

“No.”

“Would you like to know the Lord?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, let’s set up a schedule to have some Bible study. Let’s meet at Scott’s house.”

Mannford started out flat unsaved, but after or first Bible study I said he was about 2/3 saved. Then the next week he told me that he didn’t need the Bible and had no interest in reading the Bible. That put him down to considerably under half saved. But then the next week his stock shot up to 3/4 saved. I know there is no such thing as half saved, but from our human perspective, this is my rating of the working of God in a person’s heart. Praise God, he is clearly a child of God today.

I have no idea what happened. It is a total mystery. And I doubt that even Mannford himself is aware of what the Lord has been doing in him. From my vantage point, of being external from him, I see a radically changed person. It is almost amusing to listen to his comments at the Bible study. He could not be more emphatic – “Jesus Christ is the Lord! The Bible is the Word of God! The Bible is wonderful! You must accept Jesus as your savior! I have eternal life!” On and on he goes. What a contrast to the man I first met three months ago! The thing that is so wonderful and mysterious to me, is that all of this are things that he has not learned from me, but he has clearly been taught this by the Holy Spirit. He bears all the trade marks of a person who is born-again of the Spirit of God. He has all the right answers to the questions. It is like he has hacked the computer of my brain and when I ask a question he instinctively has the correct answer.

Our sturdy last week was the 7^th chapter of John. One of the key verses in John 7 is verse 37: “Jesus stood and cried, ‘If any man thirst, let him come unto Me and drink’.” Oh Phyllis, it is so wonderful that those words that Jesus uttered 2,000 years ago are still pertinent and applicable today. I asked Mannford, “Did you go to Jesus?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Did you drink?”

“Yes, I did.”

“How did you drink?”

“I believed what Jesus said.”

Isn’t that amazing? Mannford actually got to Jesus. Mannford drank and the result is exactly what Jesus promised would happen. The reality of it is tremendous.

 I wish there were 100 that were coming to that Bible study, but at the moment there are only three outsiders plus Scott and myself. One of the other fellows is a Karen boy. I assumed he had been a Christian for sometime, but I was surprised to hear that apparently he also is a new believer in the Body of Christ. He gives very clear evidence of someone who is born-again, but he told us last week that this has only been quite recent. And there is a Thai young man who seems to clearly be saved. He too is a very new believer. The Karen and the Thai boys are university students at Mae Jo. All of this is the fruit of Scott’s influence on campus. I just come along to lead a Bible study. The thing that is so refreshing about our times together is the strong awareness that Jesus Himself is meeting with us. Our Bible study isn’t a time where we are opening up the Scripture to try to learn some new thing from the Bible, but these are times of real encounters with Christ. That is why there is so much life in the meetings.

I will be a little late with my letter next week. I have to go with another brother over to Laos to see if we can get new visas for Thailand. John came here thinking he could get a one year visa on arrival, and didn’t know it was such a hassle. My Thai visa is up soon and I have to get a new one. If we can get visas at the Thai embassy in Vientiane that will be fantastic. If not, we both may have to return to America and get our visas there. Last year was the first time in 25 years that I had a real good time in America. I thought I would almost like to do this every year, but it may be that I will have to get a visa while still in the Orient. It sure is a whole lot cheaper. I’m sure Jesus is aware of our dilemma, but if you see Him you might mention this to Him that we need some help to get visas.

Tonikaku (anyway), thank you again for the privilege of your fellowship; until the next time I remain your lonely brother in the Orient,  bill

Mae Jo University

14 December 2008

Dear Phyllis,

 Several years ago a lady asked my advice for a good church for her husband. She had found two or three acceptable churches in her city, but didn’t know which one to choose, that would be most advantageous to see her husband saved. I replied, “Choose the one with the most life.” She inquired, “How do I know which one has the most life?” I told her, “Find the one that has ‘tsukare wa nai’ (no fatigue).

When my very dear friend, Takako Yamamoto, moved from Karuizawa to Tokyo, and started going to the Kichijoji meetings, she became almost fanatical for Kichijoji. This was very uncharacteristic of her. I asked her, “What is so different between the church in Karuizawa and the one where you are going in Tokyo?” When she replied, “Tsukare wa nai”, I knew immediately what she was talking about.

In many churches in Japan, a typical Sunday goes like this: You get up in the morning feeling fine. There is joy in the Lord and a bit of a song in your heart. You go to church, and two hours later you come home exhausted. It has been a draining experience to sit through an hour and a half of dead religion and a long boring, meaningless, sermon. I greatly admire most believers in Japan. It takes a well-committed Christian to tough it out week after week, year after year, of putting up that that draining religion. But there is the rare meeting where you get up on Sunday morning with a headache; you don’t feel like going to church, but you go anyway. Two or three hours later you come back marvelously refreshed. Your heart is bursting with praise to the Lord. It was so good that you hated to break off and come home. What is the difference? One place has fatigue and the other place has life.

I have always said that the spiritual thermometer of a church is measured in the foyer and the parking lot. Fifteen minutes after the benediction and the last Amen is said, if the parking lot is empty and everyone has taken off like a covey of quail, you know that that is a pretty cool church. But if at 12:30 or a quarter to 1:00, the janitor is futilely trying to shoo people out of the building so he can lock the door, and there are still four or five cars sitting in the parking lot with people joyously fellowshipping in the Lord, you know that that is a pretty warm church. I have been in churches where things got started at 9:30 in the morning and believers were still fellowshipping all over town at midnight. I have been in meetings that started at 7:30 or 8:00 on Saturday night, and the meeting was still going strong at 2:00 and 3:00AM because no one wanted to quit. That is life.

We are enjoying a little bit of that now here in Chiang Mai. The other night after our meeting, Scott said, “I really felt tired after supper. I just wanted to go to bed, but I feel great now.” Me too. I really didn’t want to go to a meeting that night, but I felt marvelously refreshed when I went home.

 It all started about three months ago when Scott asked me if I would speak with a fellow professor at Mae Jo University. I have mentioned him to you before. Mannford is German who had lived in the states for many years. He has been here in Thailand for two or three years teaching English. He was a Christian simply my nationality. That is, he had had some German state church background and would consider himself a Christian simply because he was born there and not in some Islamic or Buddhist country. He had suffered from horrible debilitating migraine headaches for years. A few months ago he was so desperate he called on to Jesus to help him, and seemingly was miraculously healed. Scott told me about him; and so when I first met him I said, “I heard you had an encounter with Jesus.” He looked at me blankly and replied, “No. What are you talking about?”

 “I heard you were healed.”

Then he told me how he was down flat and asked Jesus to help him. Within hours he was recovered.

I asked, “Do you know the Lord?”

“No.”

“Would you like to know the Lord?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, let’s set up a schedule to have some Bible study. Let’s meet at Scott’s house.”

Mannford started out flat unsaved, but after or first Bible study I said he was about 2/3 saved. Then the next week he told me that he didn’t need the Bible and had no interest in reading the Bible. That put him down to considerably under half saved. But then the next week his stock shot up to 3/4 saved. I know there is no such thing as half saved, but from our human perspective, this is my rating of the working of God in a person’s heart. Praise God, he is clearly a child of God today.

 I have no idea what happened. It is a total mystery. And I doubt that even Mannford himself is aware of what the Lord has been doing in him. From my vantage point, of being external from him, I see a radically changed person. It is almost amusing to listen to his comments at the Bible study. He could not be more emphatic – “Jesus Christ is the Lord! The Bible is the Word of God! The Bible is wonderful! You must accept Jesus as your savior! I have eternal life!” On and on he goes. What a contrast to the man I first met three months ago! The thing that is so wonderful and mysterious to me, is that all of this are things that he has not learned from me, but he has clearly been taught this by the Holy Spirit. He bears all the trade marks of a person who is born-again of the Spirit of God. He has all the right answers to the questions. It is like he has hacked the computer of my brain and when I ask a question he instinctively has the correct answer.

 Our sturdy last week was the 7^th chapter of John. One of the key verses in John 7 is verse 37: “Jesus stood and cried, ‘If any man thirst, let him come unto Me and drink’.” Oh Phyllis, it is so wonderful that those words that Jesus uttered 2,000 years ago are still pertinent and applicable today. I asked Mannford, “Did you go to Jesus?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Did you drink?”

“Yes, I did.”

“How did you drink?”

“I believed what Jesus said.”

 Isn’t that amazing? Mannford actually got to Jesus. Mannford drank and the result is exactly what Jesus promised would happen. The reality of it is tremendous.

I wish there were 100 that were coming to that Bible study, but at the moment there are only three outsiders plus Scott and myself. One of the other fellows is a Karen boy. I assumed he had been a Christian for sometime, but I was surprised to hear that apparently he also is a new believer in the Body of Christ. He gives very clear evidence of someone who is born-again, but he told us last week that this has only been quite recent. And there is a Thai young man who seems to clearly be saved. He too is a very new believer. The Karen and the Thai boys are university students at Mae Jo. All of this is the fruit of Scott’s influence on campus. I just come along to lead a Bible study. The thing that is so refreshing about our times together is the strong awareness that Jesus Himself is meeting with us. Our Bible study isn’t a time where we are opening up the Scripture to try to learn some new thing from the Bible, but these are times of real encounters with Christ. That is why there is so much life in the meetings.

I will be a little late with my letter next week. I have to go with another brother over to Laos to see if we can get new visas for Thailand. John came here thinking he could get a one year visa on arrival, and didn’t know it was such a hassle. My Thai visa is up soon and I have to get a new one. If we can get visas at the Thai embassy in Vientiane that will be fantastic. If not, we both may have to return to America and get our visas there. Last year was the first time in 25 years that I had a real good time in America. I thought I would almost like to do this every year, but it may be that I will have to get a visa while still in the Orient. It sure is a whole lot cheaper. I’m sure Jesus is aware of our dilemma, but if you see Him you might mention this to Him that we need some help to get visas.

Tonikaku (anyway), thank you again for the privilege of your fellowship; until the next time I remain your lonely brother in the Orient,  bill

Jeanna Crain

7 December 2008

Dear Phyllis,

 The other morning I was reading what the Lord has done for us. Tears flowed and my heart burned. That just flat blew my mind. I said, “Lord that is over the top! That is totally beyond human comprehension.” That certainly is true. What the Lord has done for us is totally beyond human compression. There is no way we  can take it in. When I thought about His truth being over the top – beyond human reach – I thought, “Yes it is too high; I can’t reach the top but I can reach the bottom.” I thought about touching Jesus or His garment. I thought I may not be able to touch His leg, His waist, His chest, His shoulder, or His head. The hem of His garment is the lowest place on His being. But the lady with the issue of bold thought ifd should could only touch the hem (the absolute bottom) of His garment shoe would be healed. It worked and she was healed.Praise God! Me too. Even if we can’t touch something a little higher, if we can only touch the bottom of His garment – that may be the best we can do – but that is enough to blow our minds. It is not a mater of how high up we are able to reach the reality that we are able to make some contact with Jesus; that has tremendous impact on us.It sure does on me.

That is the good part. Now for the bad part. If growing smaller in our own eyes is spiritual progress I have made tremendous strides. My self-esteem gets lower every year.And my knowledgefe is greatly diminishing.I know a whole lot less today than i did 30 years ago.I had a lot of the answers to life then and I have very few today.

 I am sure you have had some experience in false guidance. I am one of worlds leading authorities in that subject and I suspect I am dealing with that problem with Jeanna Crain. I fear she is in for a real hard head-snapping experience.

 (In this letter I will use the expression “The Lord said”. Please don’t misunderstand what I write. By that, I don’t mean to say the Lord actually said something but from our human position it looks for all the world like God has said.)

For some time Jeanna has been totally convinced that the Lord has told her that she is getting out of prison this fall – about a year early. She has got a lot of guidance to convince her that the Lord has made that promise to her. She has been telling me this since last June.I haven’t been so convinced that her guidance is correct but I have been reluctant to discourage her. With so many “promises  from God” it would be sin for her not to believe what “He has promised her.I don’t want to be a prophet of unbelief, but I have had a lot of experience in false guidance, where I have been totally convinced that the Lord had promised me something only to see it fall through.This is a new experience for her and she doesn’t realize that making mistakes in guidance is a common experience in our Christian walk.

 
She read in the Bible that the 50^th year was the year of Jubilee or release.She was saved when she was 49 and this is her 50^th year.She has had an enormous amount of seeing things with jubilee written on it. She can talk for an hour of the many miraculous ways the Lord has encouraged her by showing her he would Jubilee.Her Bible is all marked up with the “promises of God.” A week ago I told her,”You will be a much wiser woman when January gets here.” She asked, “What do yo mean by that?” Last Wednesday she was getting nervous.She was getting waves of fear that the Lord would not fulfill ”His promise to her.” We are in December now and she is still in prison. She asked Scott, “When is the last day of fall?” He said December 21^st is the first day of winter.” She still has time.  I'm afraid she is in for a big fall.  bill

No Life Down Here

30 November 2008

Dear Phyllis,

 A friend of mine, who had been at West Point, said the bravest act he ever saw was by a young plebe (underclassman) running across campus one day with a loose shoulder board flopping in the breeze. The discipline at West Point is extremely severe and one of the most serious infractions is to dishonor the uniform. Three upperclassmen spotted the plebe with the loose shoulder board, and started boring in on him for the kill. When the plebe saw the three upperclassmen running towards him he suddenly stopped to inspect himself to see what was wrong. He discovered the loose shoulder board, and knew he had had the course. Just before the upperclassmen got to him, he suddenly grabbed the shoulder board, tore it off his shoulder; holding it up to his mouth like a mike he shouted the famous line from a Star Trek movie, “Beam me up, Scottie! There’s no life down here.” Everyone within hearing range exploded with laughter. That brilliant remark saved the plebe from severe discipline.

That is the way I feel today. I wish I had a radio where I could speak to my Lord Jesus and have Him beam me up. There is no life down here.

 For the past five years Mark has been extremely kind in allowing me to live in his Bible warehouse for free. Without free housing it would be impossible for me to live anywhere. This means that I am somewhat responsible for the security of the warehouse. For the past several months we have had an enormous supply of Karen Bibles for the Karen people in Burma. Most of them were designated, but I did have liberty to allow a few people to have some for their personal work among the Karen. As the supply was getting low, Mark told me, “Please don’t give any more out.” Last week some excellent missionaries from a considerable distance visited here and asked if we had any Karen Bibles. We still have a very large stack and what they were asking for was about 1%. Mark was out of town at the time, and I couldn’t contact him. I knew it was wrong, but considering the over all picture of what these Karen Bibles were printed for, it seemed reasonable to allow these missionaries to have a few. I knew it was going to be a problem when Mark came back, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened.

I was over at their house fixing some things. Mark was not there, and I had not seen him since he had returned from his trip down south. I knew I had to break the news somehow, and decided to tell his wife first. When I told Astrid that I had given away some Karen Bibles, she went totally ballistic. For the next five minutes I was the recipient of the most severe tongue lashing I had had in many years. There was nothing I could do but stand there and bleed. Everything Astrid said was right. I apologized and agreed with all that she said.  But that didn’t restore the Bibles I had given away. Mark later came to speak with me and was extremely gracious. But that didn’t erase the fact that all that Astrid had said was correct, and what I had done was wrong.

I have greatly enjoyed living here, but have wondered when the roof would fall in, and I would have to leave again. This has happened every place I have ever been. It has come to me with overwhelming reality that Mark cannot have someone living in his warehouse who is not responsible, and allows things to go out that shouldn’t. The right and moral thing to do is to return the key to him, and move. I would have done that the other night except I have no other place on this planet to live. The only stable home I have is in heaven, but I can’t get there.

If I had the money, and a place to live in Japan, I would return to Japan.

New Life League is the finest organization I have ever seen. Roald Lidal is a world-class administrator. He is an extremely practical and pragmatic man. When the negative exceeds the positive, the object is eliminated. By doing this, he has created a very efficient organization. I watched several long-standing members of the staff ushered to the door, and the day came when the carpenter was another one deleted from the staff.

 When I was released from New Life League six years ago, Roald Lidal was extremely kind in allowing me to keep my name on the door to my room there. He assured me that that would always be my home as long as I was still on this earth. With my permanent Japanese visa, Japan is my legal residence, and NLL was the only legal home I had. But that went up in smoke.

Two years ago, on my way to America to get a Thai visa, I stopped in Japan for two months. At first, the time was excellent. They had a serious need for some boards for one of the presses. They had bought some from someplace, but they were a mess. I had the equipment and ability to make exactly what they needed for a cheap price. I was greatly encouraged. I thought if there was really a need for me, and I was making a positive contribution, I would be delighted to return to Japan three months of the year to help out.

But while I was there I felt the Lord was leading me in a certain direction and made some serious inquiry to determine the will of God. Unfortunately that was disastrous and caused a major problem. Three days before my time to return to Thailand, Roald had to call me in to have a difficult talk. I saw what a major disruption I had caused and could no loner stay there. I threw all my personal belongings in a dumpster, took my name off the door to my room, and left without saying goodbye to anyone.

 Since then I have tried to recover many times, but the mistake that I made has been carved in stone and can never be removed. I have learned by painful experience that the principle of the Prodigal Son and Onesimus (Philemon) is not operative in Christian circles. By law, we can be forgiven, but restoration is nearly impossible. I have been forgiven for my error in NLL, but all my futile attempts have proven that restoration is out of the question. As a result of that, I have lost my home in Japan and cannot return to NLL.

With this recent failure here in Chiang Mai, a shadow has fallen across my residence here. Fortunately, my initial coming to SEA has produced some positive results. Mark attributes much of his present success to contacts that have come through me. But it looks like the time of my usefulness may have come to an end, and now I am more of a liability than an asset. When the negative exceeds the positive, the negative must be removed. If this is the case, then perhaps the Cloud is rising and it is time for me to move on.

 Where that would be, I haven’t the faintest idea. There is not one place on this planet that has extended a request for me. The only thing that is keeping me here in Chiang Mai, at the moment, is wood working. And anybody can do that. With tight finances, I am greatly restricted in my options. If I had the money, I would be in Afghanistan today. I really don’t have the money to go anywhere, and my Thai visa will be up in a couple of months.

The Apostle Paul could say, “I am in a strait betwixt the two; having a desire to depart to be with Christ, which is far better. Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.” But I can’t say that. It is more needful for NLL that I not stay there, and it is more needful for Mark that I not stay here. And I don’t know of one other place on this planet that has any need of me. Except perhaps someplace in the Islamic world. And I don’t have the finances for that.

Where does that leave me? Today I could joyfully stand next to that komaru plebe at West Point and say, “Beam me up, Scottie, my life is worthless down here.”

Hoping to see you soon,   bill

Jeanna in Prison

23 November 2008

 Dear Phyllis,

People often ask me, “What do you do in Thailand?” My reply is, “I do the same thing in Thailand that I did in Japan – I abide in Christ.” In following the Lord I have found that there are two aspects to guidance – geographic guidance and vocational guidance. If we get our geographic guidance straight – where the Lord wants us to live – He will take care of the vocational guidance – what He wants us to do. And very often we find that it is surprising what He wants us to do. Vocationally, I could scratch my head why I am in Chiang Mai. I came down here ten years ago for the express purpose of being a Bible Currier, of taking Bibles into closed countries around Thailand. But today I am doing very little of that important ministry. I am spending a large portion of my time in my shop making furniture for Christians. But that is only something to do when I am not engaged in things more important. Ironically, the important things are things I do on the side. One of which is to go to the Chiang Mai womens prison every Wednesday. This has proven to be a major event in my life.

A year and a half ago, Scott Noble asked me to go with him to talk to a lady who was in there for killing her husband. Jeanna was totally upside down with New Age, and infected with ridiculous demons of deception. What has happened since then has been one of the major blessings of my life. Jeanna has turned out to be one of the most amazing phenomenons I have ever seen. For the first year I went in there every week to teach and disciple her. But now I go more to drink. Gomen nasai for mentioning her soften, but she is one of the chief reasons I am here.

If I was to express Jeanna’s main distinguishing characteristic it would be, the flow is outward. Like few people I have ever met in my life, the entire flow of her life is outward. That is; she is thinking almost entirely, not what she can get for herself, but what she can do for others. A few months ago I was commenting on what an amazing thing the Lord has done in transforming her into an outstanding Christian. And she burst out, “Yes, but it is for a reason – we must reach others! We must reach others!”

 Last Wednesday was another banner day. I left that prison so full I was almost speechless. What I had just listened to blew me away. It had been five weeks since the last time Scott and I had been able to get back in for our weekly meeting and Jeanna was exploding with things to tell me. I can’t begin to get it all in one letter, but one was her experience in leading another prisoner to Christ

She said that recently she met a 61 year old woman who was in there on a 40 year sentence. She has served 1 year, and still has 39 years yet to go. The Holy Spirit said to Jeanna, “I want you to go witness to that lady.” Jeanna protested, “I can’t do that. I can’t speak Thai and she doesn’t know a word of English.” But the Lord was insistent. So Jeanna went up to her and gave her a big hug. The woman burst into tears. The next day Jeanna saw her again and gave her another warm embrace. Again the shower of tears. After a couple of days, the Lord reminded Jeanna that she had some excellent Thai tracts explaining salvation. Jeanna also had an English copy so she could track page for page what the Thai tract was saying. She sat down with her new friend and took her through the plan of salvation one page at a time. But when they came to the last page of accepting Jesus as her savior, the lady balked and kept pointing  to her cell. Jeanna had no idea what she was saying, but had to commit her to the Lord. The next day the woman came up to her with the tract and pointed to the last page of accepting Jesus as her savior. Then she turned to the page about believing in her heart that He had died for her sins, and confessing with her mouth that she believed. She kept pointing to the pages and pointing to herself, nodding her head. That was her way of telling Jeanna that she had prayed by herself in her cell and was saved. There is a very good church in that prison with many prisoners who have become Christian. Jeanna took the old lady to introduce her to the prison pastor, and has got her established into that church now. Pretty good!

I didn’t get the details of another incident Jeanna was sharing with me, but somehow the Lord told her to wash the feet of another prisoner. But the Lord warned her, “Have that person read the story in the Bible before you do it.” Jeanna has only been saved a year and a half, and is still a little fresh with her knowledge of the Scripture. She asked, “Lord, where is that story written in the Bible?” The thought came to her, “I believe it is in John.” Then an hour later she picked up a piece of paper that had a picture of Jesus washing the disciple’s feet with John 13 written on it. She showed the other lady that passage of Scripture and had her read it. Then a day or two later she got a bucket of water and a towel. She knelt down and began to wash the feet of the other prisoner, gently wiping them with the towel and kissed her feet. The woman burst into tears and wept loudly. Jeanna could hardly speak as she was relating this incident to me. Tears were pouring down her own cheeks, and she said, “Bill, that was God’s gift to me.”

This morning I went to Allan Eubank’s Thai church again. It is really wonderful to see Jesus in these Thai people. There was a young couple that gave an excellent testimony. David Eubank is building a new center for his FBR (Free Burma Rangers) ministry. His father, Allan, had led one of the carpenters building the center to Christ. The carpenter told what a wonderful transformation had come to his heart after Jesus moved in to live there; and several excellent answers to prayer. Then his wife gave a great testimony. Like many Oriental brides, she and the mother-in-law were having a fierce war. but Jesus has intervened and peace has come to that house at last.

That testimony reminded me of my friends in Karuizawa, the Aonumas. Like many Japanese families, the eldest son and his wife lived with the mother and father. The tension between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law was horrendous! Finally the parents were exhausted, and someone had to have some rest. They decided to go to Hawaii for a vacation to get away from that horrible atmosphere in the home. Before they left, Haruko was talking to my very dear friend, Takako Yamamoto, and told her that they were going to Hawaii for a vacation

When she heard that, Takako said, “Oh, I have a very good friend, Pastor Tsuchiya, in Hawaii. Would you mind taking a present to him from me?” Takako went out and bought some fruit. Then she called Tsuchiya sensei. It was a setup. Takako knew if she gave them fruit, the Aonumas would have to deliver the package soon after arriving. Three days later Takako got a phone call at 3:00 in the morning from Hawaii. The plan worked. The Aonumas had delivered the fruit to Tsuchiya sensei, and he led them to Christ.

When Jesus came into Haruko’s heart, the world became a different place. She saw her own sin in what she was doing in contributing to the tension in the home with the war with her daughter-in-law. As soon as she got home, she did something that is unthinkable in Japan. She went to her daughter-in-law, bowed her head, and apologized for the wrong she had done. The shock of that was utterly traumatic! Keiko was more than stunned. Soon she started going to church with Haruko to see what in the world kind of power it was that changed her mother-in-law. It wasn’t long before Keiko also opened her heart to Jesus.

You talk about a miracle; now there was one! What were formerly two combatants in a mortal fight to the death became two loving sisters in Christ. Both women developed a respect for the other and were quick to acknowledge and apologize when they became aware of their own wrong doing.

The gal this morning hasn’t come that far. She testified how the Lord has taken the bitterness out of her heart and dislike for her mother-in-law. Previously they were living in the same house but almost never spoke to each other. The mother-in-law isn’t saved yet but the lady was surprised at the way the Lord is working in her heart, and they are on pleasant speaking terms now – for the first time. Needless to say, she is praying daily for the salvation of her mother-in-law.

Isn’t that terrific?! That is what happens when Jesus takes over. The flow starts going the other way. The flow in Jeanna is unbelievable! It is like a river of living water. That same River saved the Aonuma family, and that same River is flowing in the family of the Thai carpenter and his wife. The faces are different. The language is different. But the same indwelling Christ is identical wherever you find him. Even in you and me.

                                                            bill